The Mystery of Joy

I've been contemplating joy lately.

I always thought that it was a choice. You could choose to celebrate life or choose to focus on whatever was annoying you at the moment.

Lately I've been wondering if it is a gift.

C.S. Lewis noted that at times God will send a strong sense of His presence, a desire to be with Him, the ability to withstand temptations with ease. "But He never allows this state of affairs to last long. Sooner or later He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs--to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be." (The Screwtape Letters)

It occurs to me that God is an extremely joyful being, and when His presence is near, we can't help but feel it. Yet, like C.S. Lewis describes, sometimes life is hard, and God isn't easily felt. Is it possible to practice joy as a discipline even when God feels far away?

In scripture, joy is almost a command. Rejoice, it says.

What if the answer is both? What if in the normal day-to-day, joy is a discipline? Focusing on gratitude and celebration can produce a great deal of joy. Living in the moment. Practicing God's presence. All of those things can bring freedom and enjoyment of life.

But, there are times of grief and mourning when joy doesn't come easily. In those times, joy comes whenever it comes. It can't be manufactured. It can't be faked. In those times, joy is truly a gift. Short lived, but coming in waves, until eventually, you are back to the day-to-day.

Pumpkin Carving

Tonight we carved our pumpkins for Halloween. Nichole joined us. She said this was the first time she had ever carved one.

We purchased a kit with designs in it. It isn't as difficult as it would seem. You place the template on the pumpkin, then use a toothpick to punch holes along the outline. That transfers the design so you can cut it out.

John did the engineering to get them all started and put chimneys in them so the candles would stay lit. I put cinnamon on the lids so they would smell nice and looked on wikihow.com to learn how to roast the pumpkin seeds.

The result of Chase, Bethany and Nichole's work was really cool. Now, they are all glowing on my porch swing.

It's the little things...

It's the little things that make home feel like home. I landed in Dallas to gorgeous weather, so when I got home John and I opened all the windows which allowed us to hear the new chimes John bought for the porch as we took care of some chores.

In the afternoon, John and Bethany had target practice in the backyard with a pellet gun. (I tried a couple of times, but wound up hitting the bench, so after that I just watched. )

We took Bethany and a friend to Party City to get costumes for a party they were to go to. Because it was the Saturday before Halloween, the store was a zoo and took forever. I didn't mind because it was nice to spend time with Beth and listen to her evaluate her options.

After dropping Beth and her friend off to go to the party, John and I went for Date Night at Cosmic Cafe--one of my favorite restaurants in Dallas. Before it was transformed into a restaurant, it was a house with a big porch. Now, it is a funky place with great vegetarian food. Every inch of it is painted in murals and designs.

It was a pretty unplanned date. We went to a store John had discovered and bought a couple of random things including a deck of cards called "52 Things to Do on a Date" so that we could be inspired on what to do with the rest of our evening. The card said to go somewhere that you can walk and hold hands--so we did. We went to a park by our old house that has a pond. The full moon made it silvery and beautiful. We fed the swans and saw some bunnies.

On the way home, we drove past our old house and were pleased to find out that the new owners are taking good care of it. The trees we planted are big now. We talked about when the kids were little and it was fun to be reminded of our life there.

When we got back home and walked in the house, the dogs greeted us with barks and wiggly tails.

It is good to be home.

Sometimes logistics get you

It started out as a lovely day. I scribed Craig and Betsy Del Monte's session. We had some great conversations at the booth. Nancy and I had lunch with Dianne Gardner of CDH Partners--whose professional role happens to be an interesting combination of Nancy and I both.

But then tear down came around and Nancy and I spent three hours waiting for the exposition company to deliver our boxes so we could pack up and leave--which caused us to miss our flight. Which sent us on an oddessy of scrambling for a hotel, making an alternate plan for the rental car and resulting in a very, very long day.

The plus side was that the guys across from us had to wait for their boxes too, so in between napping and pacing we had entertaining conversation. One of the men from Waveguide offered to get food for us. Nancy asked him if he would bring her a salad--which he did. And as minutes turned to hours, it turned out to be a lifesaver. (She shared.)

There is something that wears on you when you think you are going home, then wind up being shuffled here and there. One of the truly good things about Atlanta is that the people here without exception are very, very nice. Smiles and kind words are sometimes the most valuable things. Nancy and I definitely received our share of them this evening...from the lady at the exposition desk, the hotel staff, the rental car return, shuttle drivers and the waitress at Sunflower. (Yes, we squeezed in one last dinner there before returning the rental car.)

You know, if I have to be stranded, Atlanta's not a bad place to be.

WFX....Day 2

Today was the first day of the exhibit floor. Steve Reed, Nancy the Insightful and I had booth duty.

The conference is hosted by Church Production and Worship Facilities Magazines. After several years of working with and writing for the magazines I’ve gotten to know their staff--who are the coolest. It is great to get to see people face-to-face who you usually connect with via e-mail and phone.

WFX focuses on houses of worship—one of the markets AD is very active in. The exhibit floor is filled with architects, technology manufacturers, stained glass crafters, stewardship consultants, seating manufacturers, staging—essentially everything you would need to build a worship center of your very own.

The speakers for the sessions are people who are leading the conversation on the construction of sacred space. With escalating construction costs and greater client expectations, it is becoming more and more difficult for churches to relocate to build. One of the sessions I helped organize was on the renovation of existing worship facilities. I am receiving more and more calls from worship facilities that are 20+ years old and no longer meet the needs of the congregations worshipping in them. The session outlined the reasons to consider renovating space you already own and that it is possible to make substantial improvement in how well the room connects the people.

Rex Miller was on the panel with Bill Chegwidden and Craig Janssen. Rex began the session with an image of a 1960's housewife in a kitchen with "Harvest Gold" appliances and "Avocado Green" tile. "This is a trend," he said. "I want to make the distinction between trends and major shifts." "Harvest Gold appliances in kitchens, like coffee bars in churches are a trend. The reformation was a shift." Rex went on to explain the premise in his book--that we've moved from an oral culture to a print culture to a broadcast culture and now are moving to a digital culture. He explained how that was reflected in church architecture.

What was really cool is that the audience got particularly engaged in the cultural dialogue. Not once did the conversation shift to color of carpet or theming for children's spaces. Pretty wonderful.

The rest of the day was spent on the trade show floor. I love the randomness of the engagements. You never know who you will connect with or how their story crosses with your own. For me, this type of interaction makes me feel like I'm operating at my highest level. It energizes me. I get immersed.

After the floor closed, Craig, Steve, Nancy and I all went to Cafe Sunflower for a fabulous meal...appetizers all the way through dessert. Now I feel all content and sleepy. Best of all, my day doesn't start until 9am tomorrow. Mmmmm...a late wake up call. Joy!

WFX in Atlanta

I'm sitting here typing at the end of a very long day. In fact, I picked up Nancy-the-Insightful this morning at 6:30 am to go to the airport.

Our firm is exhibiting at WFX in Atlanta. Since the bumper-to-bumper traffic at the airport this morning it feels like I've been 30-45 minutes behind all day.

As always for a trade show, the logistics never quite work out exactly right, so flexibility is the name of the game. I lugged 66 lbs of brochure through the Atlanta Hartsfield airport forgetting when I made this plan just how long the walk was from baggage claim to ground transportation to the hotel to the tradeshow floor. The four display pieces I brought didn't look quite right so I nixed one of them. (At $600 a piece--not an easy decision.) The light kits were all missing a piece, but luckily Steve-McGyver-Reed is on this trip with us and we made a quick trip to Home Depot so that he can engineer something.

The brochures we produced and shipped earlier this week for the tour weren't delivered, but they were easily found and Nancy and I drove them over--running only a little late.

Then, Steve, Nancy and I were on our way to my favorite restaurant on the planet (Cafe Sunflower, which happens to only exist in Atlanta) when I got the call that I needed to go back to help with tomorrow's session. We turned around. Nancy and Steve dropped me off. (Luckily, they brought me back a piece of cake.)

Now that the set up is done, tomorrow will be about connection--my very favorite part!

Word spaghetti

Sometimes words flow easily. Concepts pour out in a stream of brilliance that when you read them later, you think...."Could I have actually written that?" But other times every word is like sweating great drops of blood and paragraphs read with all the linear thought of a bowl of spaghetti.

Today, I am having a word spaghetti day. I'm writing verbiage for the new ADVisual brochure and the story in my head is a great glob of goo. The worst part is that it has been goo for some time now. I keep pushing it off thinking I'll get clarity, but no....still goo.

It actually should be a really cool story. My company is designing in 3-D. You see, once upon a time, everything was done in 2-D making it difficult for clients to visualize designs unless they were well versed in reading blueprints. But now, even architects are able to provide better coordination becasue when you are looking and talking about something that looks like a photograph, it is easy to see when things don't match up. What this means for the client is that it is easier to visualize the experience and make decisions which shortens the whole design timeline--which in the long run saves them money.

The sad part is that the story I just told above needs to be cleaned up into better sounding verbiage that will flow engagingly across multiple pages--which as I said--I'm struggling with.

So for now, the ADVisual story remains word spaghetti. Sigh.

Trying to wake up...

First of all, I have to say it is cruel and unusual punishment for the schools to hold basketball practice at 7am. It requires Bethany and I leaving the house at 6:30 which means I have to get up even earlier. The worst part is that because I have to rush through my morning routine it generally results in a bad hair day for me for the rest of the afternoon.

This morning it was raining--which meant traffic was terrible--and it is one of the first cold days of the year here.

I came into the office--generally feeling miserable, then left again. I decided a trip to the bakery around the corner for a warm blueberry muffin and a cup of really good coffee was just the thing. The muffin is still warm from the oven and the coffee is delicious. Amazing how baked goods and friendly chatter with a woman at the counter can turn a day around.

Now, if I can just avoid mirrors so I don't have to look at my hair, the day should be just fine...
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UPDATE: Okay, Angie just walked in and randomly said, "Wow, your hair looks really cute today."

Made me smile. :-)

Of swishy skirts and balls...

I just woke up from the most amazing dream....

I was at a ball. Yep. Just like in Cinderella. (In fact, the ballroom looked suspiciously like Disney's version.)

The best part was that all the women--including me--had colorful skirts that moved with them as they danced. My partner spun me around and I laughed and laughed as the skirt swished in time to the music.

I actually do own a swishy skirt. And sometimes--when I can't help myself--I spin around just so it will twirl, much like I did when I was five years old.

What is it about women that balls and swishy skirts sit so comfortably in our hearts? Maybe we never really get over the fairy tales we heard when we were children. Maybe something inside us knows there is something in that fantasy that is true. And that even if glass slippers are impractical they are beautiful. And that on days when we are cleaning fireplaces and doing laundry (or the corporate equivalent thereof), there is hope that our fairy godmother might come and wave her magic wand and give us a beautiful, magical night.

All the cool thoughts today...

I heard several ideas that popped out at me today. Have you ever been writing or typing something and all of the sudden the word you are looking at doesn't look quite right? As if it suddenly transposed itself into a Martian word and it is completely incomprehensible? I don't know why this happens.

Sometimes ideas do that too, but just the opposite. Sometimes somebody says something and it stops, takes shape and hangs in the air in a way that I can grasp it. That happened three times today...(a very unusual ratio)....so I thought I would share.

Michael Lagocki (of a previous post) was in my office today talking with our team about leading people in emergent decision-making processes. After the talk, he and I hung out and he said something stunning. "Compelling dreams beat burning platforms." The context was sustainable energy. As in "what if the conversation was 'Wouldn't renewable energy be a really cool thing?' instead of 'Emergency! We're running out of oil." I love the idea of giving someone something to jump toward than focusing on what they are jumping from.

I also watched a video of Erin McKean's talk at TED. She said a lot of wonderful things about dictionaries and words and where things are going. She said that "paper is the enemy of words" --which is a mindbending thing to think about in the context of dictionaries. However, the idea she said that I absolutely had to write down was from the story of the Velveteen Rabbit. She said "Love makes things real." Again, the phrase simply jumped out as true.

Jason McKelvey delivered the final profound thought of the day. "Hooters doesn't serve owl." Yep. Definitely something to noodle on.

The Concept of Lurking

"Lurker" is the term used for someone who regularly reads a blog, but never comments. According to Wikipedia, the term dates back to the mid-1980s, when most people did not have access to the Internet, but used BBS chat rooms and message boards instead.

Because BBSs were often accessed by a single phone line there was an expectation that all who used a bulletin board would contribute by uploading files and posting comments. Lurkers were viewed negatively if they did not contribute but kept the phone line tied up. Sometimes newbies to Internet communities are asked to "lurk" to get a feel for the vibe. The verb to "de-lurk" means to start contributing actively to a community having been a lurker previously.

According to my Google Analytics stats, there is an awful lot of traffic on this blog, but only a few post comments. So, I thought I'd issue an invitation for lurkers to decloak. The topic for the lurkers to chime in on is an easy one...let us know what you think the worst song of all time is.

My vote goes strongly to "She's Having my Baby" by Paul Anka. (Makes me want to put a spoon through my ear.)

On your mark, get set, comment!

Last day in Calgary...

After two days of intense "think-tanking" we had some relaxed unscheduled time this morning at the Faukridge center. Somehow I got the luck of the draw and wound up in the master suite this week. The Faukridge center was once a residence and the closet in my room was as big as my husband's current office. The bathroom was of equal size and boasted the most amazing jaccuzi tub. The best part was that two walls of the room were glass and the view was incredible. After staying at the minimalistic Pod Hotel a couple of weeks ago in Manhattan, this was a very, VERY nice contrast.

Most of our group wound up going to the airport to catch early morning flights, so the few of us on afternoon flights had the morning to sit over coffee and talk. I met a really interesting architect from Las Vegas--Ray Lucchesi. In addition to being an activist for change (a common dynamic in this group) he is also well-read on businesses as eco-systems. He brought an interesting perspective to the dialogue and helped expand my thinking. Another factoid interesting to me was that he has a sociologist and an architectural biologist on his team.

Ric Nelson--a developer--brought another interesting perspective to the dialogue. In looking at the whole design and construction industry, we began to speculate what roles in the current eco-system were "endangered species."

While we were sitting around, I did some work on the Mindshift wiki. Part of my role in this group is as "wiki gardener." I tend to go in behind people and clean up formatting and the organization of information. (I think it's an OCD thing for me.) It felt good to get the captures of the scribing posted so the ideas can be looked at as a flow.

The flight back was full of returnees from the Sweet Adeline convention. At one point, they all broke into song at the gate. (Pretty cool.)

In any case, it is great to be home. As an added bonus, John met me at the baggage claim. Always fun to be met in a cold, impersonal airport by a familiar smile and a hug.

Operation Mindshift

I'm in Calgary this weekend for an Operation Mindshift retreat. OMS is Rex Miller's brainchild. It's purpose is to come up with a new delivery method for design and construction. Almost everyone agrees the current system is broken, but it is a systemic problem and there is no easy fix. It is a visionary move on Rex's part--and of Haworth who is financing it--to begin to lead the discussion.

Rex asked me to come scribe for Kyle Davy--faciltator and author of Value Redesigned--an amazing work on the future of architectural practice.

The discussions are spirited, engaging, and there are people around the table from every part of the process...developer, architect, interiors, furnisher, and of course, our firm wearing the Strategic Dimensions hat. It's been a fascinating day so far. Thought I would post this during our break. Now, back to work.

Geekipedia

Wired Magazine's Geekipedia supplement kept me company on the plane today. I read everything from Abrams, JJ to Zillow. Billed as the "list of essential people, places, things and trends to help you navigate the wired world," I have to admit, the supplement delivered.

For example, did you know Godwin's Law is the name for the likelihood of conversations on message boards to degenerate and end with a reference to Nazis? Or that craigslist.com founder, Craig Newmark, has never sold out and claims that "death is his exit strategy?"

Did you know about blogger, Fake Steve Jobs? Or which YouTube stars are crossing over into mainstream media?

The supplement also covers all the current acronyms like DRM (grr), RFID and UAV.

If aren't a Wired subscriber, I highly recommend popping into a B&N to pick up this month's copy for the Geekipedia supplement. It's an interesting read--even if you don't have 3.5 hours to kill on a plane ride. Or, as with all things Wired, you can access online at http://www.wired.com/wired/issue/geekipedia.

Project "Audacious Adventure"

The title of today's post was coined by Craig Janssen. It is what he has been calling the Crosspointe project.

Several years ago, Crosspointe purchased land in Carrollton intending to build a church there. The thing is there are already a plethora of churches in the area. So, Crosspointe sold the land at a profit and decided to do something completely different. After all, if there are already an awful lot of existing buildings with pews and steeples, wouldn't it be cool to build an asset that the community doesn't already have?

Just north of Crosspointe's current location is a planned community. Like most mixed-use developments, the idea is that you can live, work and play all in the same neighborhood. The success of these neighborhoods hinges on their ability to deliver a sense of community. Considering that creating community is something that Crosspointe excels at, there is an intersection of goals.

David Wahlstedt, Craig Janssen, Wayne Stoltenberg and other members of our team worked with Shanks Architects to develop a concept for a center to be co-developed for use by the community and the church. The space is designed for conferences, concerts, cultural and community events. The project would not be a church, but the church would be able to meet there on Sundays.

Today, the team makes the pitch to the developer. Crosspointe would build the theatre space, lobby, parking and classrooms, and ask for the developer to provide the land and build the amphitheatre. Though it sounds like an "audacious" request, the plan is actually financially viable and revenue-generating. A wonderful idea, but still an audacious request.

I can't wait to hear the results....

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UPDATE: I had lunch today with the Audacious Adventure team right after the meeting. The pitch ended with unexpected results. The developer didn't look at the gorgeous flythrough or glossy handouts. Instead he gave a firm, no.

He did, however, give the team advice. Essentially, we need to get in the door before any amenities have been built. He mentioned other options in the area and provided some helpful information.

It was a bit deflating, but not completely discouraging.

The US Marines have a motto: Improvise, adapt, overcome. It's a great motto to live by, but mostly it is a great phrase for today.

Random Moment

I've been working on several all-consuming projects fpr my day job which has left me way behind on my e-mail.

Today I finally got around to opening one from Dianna (of the previous GDA posts). She sent this photo from when we were in Central Park.

We stood staring at this man for quite awhile trying to decide if he were real or a statue. When I got too close, he reached down and grabbed my hand, pulled it to his heart, and made funny faces at me.

He handed me his card--which I wish I could find. Anyone who spends his days bringng smiles to random passersby should really be praised and promoted.

So, Mr. Central Park Statue Man....thank you. Not just for the smile on that day, but the one I had today when I was reminded of the interaction via e-mail.

Fondue with Steve & Marybeth

Steve & Marybeth joined us for fondue tonight. Fondue is one of my favorite things to do when having a dinner party because all I have to do is chop stuff. All of the cooking gets done at the table.

Steve hadn't had fondue before...and quite frankly had a bit of a time getting the hang of it.

He was able to manage skewering things and dipping them in batter. He was even able to successfully get them into the hot oil, but then the whole process seemed to fall apart. We spent a good part of the first portion of the meal fishing Steve's food out of the bottom of the fondue pot with our forks.

Of course, whenever Steve and John get together the conversation turns to fantasy football. At one point John even felt compelled to print the roster to bring more accuracy to the discussion.

(I try to follow...really I do...but football has always been complex to me just with first downs and penalty flags. Now that I have to factor in trades and bye weeks and random marijuana charges, the whole thing is beyond complicated.)

Tony and Joey joined us, and though I don't have a kid-friendly house anymore, I do still have a huge tub of Chase's old action figures. It was cool to see them all strewn across the living room floor. Brought back really great memories. Tony tried to show us how he could twist his tongue in a circle going the opposite direction of his foot. (Yes, the rest of us tried it too. You really truly can't do it.)

Of course, the best part of fondue is the dessert course. It is fairly easy to whip up. You heat the half and half in the fondue pot. (Electric pots are best...you can control the heat so it doesn't scorch.) Add a shot of liquor. (I usually use amaretto. Tonight I used coconut rum.) Throw in semi-sweet chocolate chips, and stir until melted. Put out some pineapple, sliced banana, marshmallows, green apple, and you are done.

John and I are both fans of the marshmallows. If you leave them in the heated chocolate for a bit, they melt just a little. Mmmmmm.

The Wedding Ring

John and I got married my last year of college and didn't have a lot of money for things like wedding rings. My parents helped us out and bought a lovely set which I wore for about 19 years.

On my 40th birthday, John threw a party and invited a lot of our friends to my favorite restaurant. During dinner, he suprised me by dropping to one knee and asking me to marry him, saying he would do it all over again.

He gave me a diamond ring in white gold, and slipped it on my right hand.

I so appreciated the ring he chose, that I retired my original set, putting it aside for Chase to recraft for the woman he proposes to--should he chose that--and moved the diamonds to the third finger of my left hand.

Yesterday, John gave me a wedding band to match the diamond ring he gave me 18 months ago. It is a beautiful silver band, but the best part is what most people won't see. On the part of the ring that faces my palm is a shooting star. A special message between the two of us. A promise for the next 20 years.

An Afternoon with Michael Lagocki

I first met Michael when I went to Camp Improv--an event put on by Leadership Network several years ago.

Not that I was actually introduced. There was just this man standing at the back of the crowd with a handful of markers capturing all of the ideas that were being presented from the stage. Not notes exactly. Not a drawing or a painting. (It was something I would later be told was called "scribing".)

Speakers like Ron Heifitz and Jim Collins were presenting their ideas in a flow of words and stories, and Michael was capturing them in a way that gave them form and made them stand still. And, because the thoughts were caught, they could be studied and reexamined simply by walking past the boards he had created.

Not too long after this, Michael was part of an experiment at Crosspointe church using scribing during worship. This was actually how John and I met David Wahlstedt and wound up going to church there. I was sent to cover the event in an article for Church Production Magazine. I interviewed Michael for the piece, and he said something about David Wahlstedt that I have quoted many times, "David is easy to scribe for. He talks in pictures."

The thing about the scribing for worship experiment is that it was unexpectedly powerful. There is something about the translation of beautiful words for God into drawings and phrases on paper that connects deeply.

This is a sample of Michael's work I lifted from his website to help communicate the idea of scribing. When the ideation is from a meeting you actually attended it gives much more impact to the experience rather than having just listened alone.

I became fascinated with the process and started practicing on my own....taking crayons to meetings and later working from my tablet PC. Nothing official. Just something I did for me.

Today, my company allowed me to hire Michael for a couple of hours for scribing lessons. Which was beyond cool. I had so much fun spending time learning about the magic behind the markers. Best of all, this is something I get to try solo for Operation Mindshift up in Calgary. Michael was somewhat suprising in that he didn't teach me his style. He taught me what I needed to do to develop my own.

If you are interested in learning more about Michael, check out his newest endeavors at artlovemagic.com. He has been the catalyst for a new wave of art events that blow the whole concept of wine, cheese and quiet appreciative chatter out of the water. They are interactive and fun with artists creating in real time breaking down walls between patron and artist. Check the website for the next event. Admission is usually quite affordable and well worth the trip downtown.

The Limitations of Being Human

One day, when Chase was about six years old, he sat at the breakfast table over his cereal looking very sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Chase looked up with tears in his big brown eyes. "I'm not ever going to wake up with superpowers, am I?"

The sincerity in his question broke my heart.

I realized this week that I suffer from the same delusion. Sunday afternoon I began feeling terrible. A trip to the doctor and I found out that all of my symptoms were stress related. My doctor looked me in the eyes and said, "This is very normal. You are human." He gave me pills, not to enable me to work harder, but to lower my blood pressure, ease the headaches, and help me rest.

A call to my boss to figure out my work load around my doctor's recommended sick leave elicited the same kind response. "You don't have to be superwoman."

It's great to find out that the people who care about you don't expect you to be more than you actually are. So, while I'm still committed to being remarkable, it has to be within boundaries (apparently) because my DNA hasn't been altered by gamma rays, alien abduction or some sort of random anti-matter encounter.

Still, if a radioactive spider walks by...I'm grabbing it!