Thoughts on Love

Lately I've been thinking a lot about love.

The thread started with something Don Miller said about stories where the hero sacrifices being those that are the most satisfying. That paired with the verse, "No greater love has a man than he lay down his life for his friends" has caused me to log a lot of brain time lately on the correlation between love and sacrifice.

In stark contrast to that is Hollywood's version. I read something by Tori Spelling this week that said she spent way too much money on a wedding to the wrong guy.

Is that really how love works? You think you are marrying the "right" person, then when the real "right one" comes along realize you made a mistake?

I have to confess this is confusing to me. A lot of stories in Hollywood follow that plot. King Arthur, Guinevere and Lancelot. Cleopatra, Caesar, Anthony. Heck, even the Justice League with Green Lantern and Hawkgirl. And each time, I oddly find myself routing for the new guy.

This story has played out among my friends married in the 15+ year range. Is the new guy really the "true love" or just someone who came along to help fight deep insecurities? To meet the need for validation?

Somehow that version of "true love" looks nothing like sacrifice, yet I find myself believing in it in the movies.

Donald Miller said there is a fine line between heroes and villains. Both have things they want. Both have flaws. Miller said the difference always comes down to the point of choosing. The villain will always choose for himself and the hero will always choose for others.

Sorry Hawkgirl. No matter how well written the episode, you blew it with the Green Lantern thing.

8 comments

Robin said...

agreed! very interesting thread.

donline@gmail.com said...

Wow, a great Random Cathy post and a JLA reference!!! What a good start to the day.

D Herrod said...

Interesting.

It seems like we get our standards for true love and for heroes mixed up sometimes. We forget our standards are to be based on the Bible not a good plot from Hollywood.

Off topic but I have an interview next week.

Shannon said...

J R R Tolkien said:
Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might be found more suitable mates. But the real soul-mate is the one you are actually married to.

I really like the last line :-)

Cathy H said...

Wow, Shannon, I love that quote.

Wes Shanon said...

Love is a very complicated and yet very simple thing. After a 25 year marriage to a lovely woman whom I had dated for 5 years ended in a divorce, I doubt if I understand anymore about love than I have ever understood. Maybe love isn't so hard but relationships are?

This was a good thought provoking post Cathy. I will be chewing on this one for a while.

Cathy H said...

Interesting. "Love isn't so hard, but relationships are."

That's actually really profound.

Shannon said...

i've been really chewing on the whole villain/hero thing... and choosing for others instead of myself..... I really wanna be a hero

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Maira Gall