The problem with House...

So the problem with the TV series House is that it is the same show...EVERY WEEK.

They spend an hour chasing misdiagnoses while Dr. House makes outrageously obnoxious statements then suddenly in the last 10 minutes wrap it all up.

It is maddening.

Tonight, at the beginning of the show, John googled the symptoms and found a diagnosis. He is now doing the "dance of joy" because he was right. He solved the case in 5 minutes and it took a team of television medical experts 55 minutes.

Theophostic Training

John and I went to dinner and a couple of bookstores for date night tonight, then were home by 9pm. If I look tired in this photo (taken at the Indian resturant), it is because I am.

Today, we spent the day training in theophostic prayer. Theophostic prayer is a little difficult to explain. It is more something you experience. The method (unsure that is correct terminology) was developed by Ed Smith who was frustrated by the lack of progress made by the sexual abuse victims he counseled.

He found that correct data can improve bad data (such as "you made a wrong turn, make the first legal u-turn"), but correct data can't improve bad experience. (For example, "you aren't 8 years old anymore; you are safe.") The premise is that a facilitator allows you to uncover lies you believe that cause your own personal pain, then the Holy Spirit is invited in to heal it.

Again, I just re-read my words, and they seem really inadequate. I have a previous post that goes into my experience with it. For better information, visit theophostic.com.

Evening in Ft. Worth

John, Bethany and I spent the evening in my hometown of Fort Worth.

We had tickets to see "Tuna Does Vegas" at Bass Hall--an absolutely beautiful performance center designed by David Schwarz. Every detail of the hall is completely lovely. One of the fun things about going to Fort Worth is that people still wear Cowboy hats. It was fun to look out over the audience and see the hats dotted across the seating area.

The "Tuna" performances are two-man shows written and performed by Joe Sears and Jaston Williams. They feature the residents of the fictional Tuna, Texas. If you grew up in a small town in Texas... or New Mexico... or Oklahoma... or... well really any of the Southern states, you know these people. They are your neighbors and relatives.

At tonight's performance, it was clear that the audience was familiar with the series because as each character made their entrance they were greeted with loud applause as if we were seeing the return of old friends.

Petey Fisk (of the humane society) and DeeDee Snavely (who owns the used gun shop) are particular personal favorites.

During intermission, John came back for me and motioned for me to join him. He led me out onto a hidden balcony where we were able to look out over the city. The night air and the view was beautiful. We hung out on the balcony, John, Bethany, and I enjoying the view until it was time to go back again.

Afterwards, we grabbed dessert at a Starbucks (the only thing open) on Sundance square. It was a wonderful evening. One I hope we get to repeat soon.

Getting Better

We spent this weekend hanging out with Carl and Sunny at their place on Lake Texhoma. Poor John had to listen to me read excerpts from Stephen Covey's Speed of Trust throughout the two hour drive.

One of the sections of the book outlines thirteen characteristics of high-trust leaders. Behavior #7 "Get Better" really leaped out at me.

It begins with a quote from Alvin Toffler, "The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn."

The people I've most enjoyed connecting with in my day-job have getting better as part of their core DNA. In fact, the consultants in my industry who command the most respect aren't the ones who position themselves as the gurus who know everything, but those who have a deep curiosity and the capacity to learn.

Covey reaffirms that premise by saying, "When people see...your organization as a learning, growing, renewing organization they develop confidence in your ability to succeed in a rapidly changing environment, enabling you to build high-trust relationships and move with incredible speed. The opposite of Get Better is entropy, deterioration, resting on your laurels or becoming irrelevant. With the pace of change in today's world, if you aren't making a conscious effort to Get Better, you're not just standing still; you're getting farther and farther behind."

One of the beautiful things about the internet is that clients are more educated than ever before. The challenge for consultants is democracy of information. If we can't provide value above and beyond that of knowledge-broker, then we are going to soon be obsolete. The new skillsets in my industry are about facilitation and idea-generation over knowing the latest model numbers and being able to produce drawings.

The cool thing about this environment of change is that it is forcing me to Get Better too. Thanks, Mr. Covey for helping with that!

Random Days Off

I took a few days off this week since Bethany is on Spring Break. Wednesday was spent in Fort Worth with my mom. It was cool that Spring Break fell across her birthday because Bethany and I were able to take her to brunch. We also spent the day shopping which included Cato (a favorite) and a handful of shoe stores.

In our spree, I discovered the Wild Bird store and bought cardinal specialty food--which the sparrows and doves in our backyard devoured within an hour of my putting it out. (Hopefully the cardinal snuck in and got just a little.)

On Thursday, I went up to McKinney to see Shannon-of-the-Six (whose six happened to be staying with her MIL in Houston.) On the way, I got thoroughly lost, so I parked at a store and called. Shannon let me know she would be in a truck since she had traded vehicles with her MIL for a week. (As you might imagine, Shannon's normal vehicle is a van.)

About five minutes later, a truck pulled up and I happily jumped out of my car and ran up to get in. (The man in the truck looked bewildered.) Five minutes after that, Shannon showed up. We ate at a delicious Mexican food restaurant called Petra, where the owner made me vegan vegetable tacos served with tableside guac. Mmmmm. I totally have to go again.

We spent the day hanging out, then I went back home to go with John to his softball game in Grapevine where Michelle, Kacie and I cheered our hearts out. (Well, mostly me as Kacie pointed out.)

Afterward, we went to Red Robin for dinner. I have tons of photos of all of us around the table, however, it is mandatory that I post this one of Steve, since he avoided my camera all night because he was afraid I would blog about him.

I should also add that Steve--a Laura Coston level storyteller--told us about his narrow escape from a ferral cow in Hawaii. (Marybeth, can you verify?)

Today is my last day off. I plan to make the most of it.

The Labyrinth

As you read this, there is a labrynth set up at Crosspointe. A prayer path. A chance to pull away and let go of all of the things that run through the mind.

Stress. Worry. Guilt. Fear. The grocery list. Did I remember to feed the dog? (Yeah. They all get equal billing in my brain.)

Three years ago when I went through it, I wasn't sure what to expect.

We walked in. Took off our shoes. Twelve stations. A headset with a CD. I pushed "play."

Nothing prepared me for what God did in me. I didn't even know I had stuff to let go of. By the time I had completed the twelve stations, Easter suddenly seemed so real. I'm not talking about the historical event of it. I'm talking about changes in my soul. There's so much stuff that we carry with us every day. (Way more than the grocery list and the dogs.) The prayer path was an opportunity to let that stuff go. A time for Jesus Christ to be real and present in my soul.

As a blog post, this falls short in describing the beauty of it. If you live in the area, there are a few more spots left if you want to go through it. E-mail Kylie and David and grab one.

All Art is Autobiographical

Last night, John and I went to a meeting with Crosspointe's creative team.

First, I have to say that being in a room with dynamic, creative people and feeling the flow of that energy is unique. The chemistry of groups is fascinating and I'm curious to learn why some groups spark and others drain. (If one could develop a skillset to be able to manage that flow...I wonder if it would be possible to transition a draining group to a sparking one?)

In any case, part of our discussions centered around the personalities of organizations. Ron Martoia repeated an interesting quote by Robert Quinn from his book, Building the Bridge as You Walk on It.

Organizational excellence tends not to be a function of imitation. It tends to be a function of origination. It begins with one person - the one in ten who has the capacity to create productive community.

As I've mentioned before, I've learned to pay attention when there are repetitive themes in what I'm reading and in the conversations occurring around me. Just as it is significant for individuals to become who they really are so that they can be something unique and different in the world, it is important for organizations to do the same.

Dale Carnegie, in his book, How to Worry Less and Live More (1944), relays the story of an interchange between Irving Berlin and George Gershwin.

When Berlin and Gershwin first met, Berlin was famous but Gershwin was a struggling young composer working for thirty-five dollars a week in Tin Pan Alley. Berlin, impressed by Gershwin's ability, offered Gershwin a job as his musical secretary at almost three times the salary he was then getting. "But don't take the job," Berlin advised. "If you do, you may develop into a second-rate Berlin. But if you insist on being yourself, some day you'll become a first-rate Gershwin." Gershwin heeded that warning and slowly transformed himself into one of the significant American composers of his generation."

Carnegie goes on in the chapter to tell about Gene Autry ridding himself of his Texas accent and dressing like a New Yorker to try to become successful in radio--which of course seems ridiculous to us in hindsight looking at the popular singing cowboy who had such a tremendous career.

While individuals struggle to embrace their uniqueness--and typically find great satisfaction and success when they do, the same is true of groups. Being able to embrace your personal history and unique DNA as a group creates organizations and companies that are compelling.

Much of my day job is in working with churches. It has always been an interesting phenomenon to watch certain church models be duplicated with varying success. The thing is that the ones who are being copied are the ones who are deeply unique. The trailblazers. The ones who stepped out in faith without a map to follow.

Perhaps one of the most significant skillsets in creating successful companies and organizations is in being able to identify and tell the story of who you really are.

What Carnegie said is true. Whether looking at individuals or groups, all art is autobiographical. And original artwork is always intensely more valuable than the copy.

___________________________________________________
Sidenote: David-the-Artist-Pastor (Yes Wahlstedt, you now have a tagline) loaned me his pen set to use in my scribing. For my ideation of the meeting, click here.

Poetry via Pandora

There is a really cool writers group in the Dallas area called, DARA. It is primarily romance novelists, but there are a handful of sci-fi and mystery writers thrown in.

When I first went to a meeting, I wasn’t sure what to expect. In fact, I remember wondering if there was a certain “look” to writers. Actually, the first meeting room I walked into before finally finding DARA was filled with Mary Kay representatives. (Close your eyes and pause for the visual.) A perfectly coiffed woman in pink directed my jeans clad self to the DARA meeting which was toward the back of the hotel.

As it turns out, writers are as varied as I could imagine. There were flannel-shirt-no-make-up types, gorgeous-lipstick-flowing hair types and a random assortment of those of us in between.

One of the odd commonalities I have noticed is that writers tend to choose their music based on the lyrics. It makes sense if you think about it since most writers are completely enamored of words.

One of the cool things about Pandora (my new discovery…see previous post) is that artist info is easily clickable. (Then the lyrics are just a Google search away.) The sad fact of being an indie group vs. a poet like Walt Whitman is the transitory nature of the music industry. While Walt’s poetry gets preserved in libraries, the poetry of my favorite indie groups only gets held on the music store shelf for a short while.

Luckily Pandora has kept my world filled with poetry all this week. Like this song by Audio Adrenaline.

I’ve watched my dreams all fade away
And blister in the sun
Everything I’ve ever had is unraveled and undone
I’ve set upon a worthless stack
Of my ambitious plans
And the people that I’ve loved the most
Have turned their backs and ran

This is the good life
I’ve lost everything
I could ever want
And ever dream of
This is the good life
I found everything
I could ever need
Here in your arms

Loneliness has left me searching
For someone to love
Poverty has changed my view
Of what true riches are
Sorrow’s opened up my eyes
To see what real joy is
Pain has been the catalyst
To my heart’s happiness

The Joy of Pandora

Circa 1999, I saw the movie 10 Things I Hate About You.

I so loved the band in the movie that I had to wait through the credits to track down who they were. Their name was Letters to Cleo. I picked up the soundtrack and have their two tracks from the movie in high rotation on my media player.

The other day, John introduced me to Pandora. It is a free music service that is linked to the Music Genome Project. You create your own radio station by typing in the names of your favorite artists. Pandora plays those artists, and begins to suggest others based on your tastes. You then have the opportunity to “thumbs up” or “thumbs down” the song. The more time you spend with Pandora, the more it learns your tastes.

Today, after only a few hours of listening, Letters to Cleo popped up. I didn’t know they had an album. In fact, aside from my obsession with their two tracks on the 10 Things soundtrack, I had mostly forgotten them. (Sorry Cleo.) Pandora also unearthed a favorite track from an obscure Sixpence None the Richer album, when I hadn’t even remembered to tell Pandora that I loved them and had all of their releases.

I know that there are other players with a similar approach. (I was big into Launch a few years ago.) The difference with Pandora is that they don’t force users to listen to obnoxious commercials, and it is stunningly good at quickly picking up on your taste.

As if that wasn’t cool enough, I also found out how to link Pandora to Facebook.

The digital world is completely and totally amazing.

Photo Editing

I spent most of the day today editing photos. One of the beauties of the digital world is that you can take a zillion photos and be assured of getting a handful of truly amazing shots. (You can also be a pretty marginal photographer and get improve the results with the help of Paint Shop Pro.)

Dan Schoedel once told me I had 'mad cropping skills' and I have to confess that I actually really enjoy going through the raw footage and making the photo look just right. Bruce Campbell--another photographer friend--said the most important part of really good images is in isolating the beautiful part of the photo and eliminating the mundane. (You can view Bruce's work on flickr. It is art.)

For Alex and Bethany's set, I went black and white.

This was less of an artistic decision and more driven by Alex's white shirt--which threw the colors off. I had forgotten that the professional photographer we use at work always tells our consultants to avoid wearing white. (If you happen to live in the Dallas area, his name is Dwight Smith, and he is incredible at capturing personality in his portraits.)

In any case, it was a great afternoon of me doing something I love to do while John played video poker on his laptop (something he loves to do). Wish we could do it again tomorrow, but we should probably go to work.

Photography Day

Today I took my niece, Bryn, out to shoot her senior pictures.

We took some at Bishop Arts and others--like this one--on the canals at Las Colinas. We even took some in front of this really cool door on a house that was for sale in Kessler Park. (Which fortunately was vacant.)

Bryn was actually very easy to shoot. She wasn't self conscious and she is very photogenic. Bryn also has a good eye for composition and was able to see the shots with me--which was cool.

Later in the afternoon, I finally made good on a promise to Bethany's friend, Alex, do do a photoshoot with her.

Of all the photos I took in the afternoon, this one was my favorite. We got some really good images throughout the day, but this one random laughing moment was truly the best.

The Stephen Covey Epiphany

In reading Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust, Covey put words to something I’d observed but had never really understood before.

The problem in organizations, however, is that many “ethics” solutions focus on compliance. The compliance definition of “ethics” is not one of integrity or integratedness; it is a watered-down, devalued definition that essentially means “follow the rules.” Ethics training, therefore is often focused exclusively on conformity to Sarbanes-Oxley and other regulatory and rules-based legislation—and not on clarifying values and fostering integrity to those values and to enduring principles.

As a result, companies have huge, complex policy manuals. In addition, people can be duplicitous or even brutal in how they treat others, but unless they’re caught fudging on an expense account or violating some other measurable rule, as long as they’re getting results, most companies typically won’t do anything about it.

In the church culture I grew up in and the Christian university I went to, there were measurable rules. Don’t drink. Don’t swear. Don’t smoke. Don’t gamble. Don’t have sex outside of marriage. Don’t skip church. Yet, some of the biggest betrayals I experienced were inside the church.

As I was tracking down people for the Facebook reunion project, I traced one girl through her brother who is a pastor in Oklahoma. The Google search returned a plethora of articles with incredible venom over a stand he had taken within his denomination. Here were people “following the rules” yet treating one of their own with an ugliness that was difficult to process.

It hit me in going through the articles, that “the big rules” (the Ten Commandments) were completely focused on how we treat God and how we treat each other. To paraphrase:

1. Love God.
2. Don’t take things you’ve made and worship them.
3. Don’t misuse the name of God. (By the way, I think this goes way beyond swearing. There’s that whole part in the Book of Job where God is really annoyed that Job’s friends didn’t speak truly about His character.)
4. Take one day off each week for rest and worship.
5. Honor your parents.
6. Don’t murder
7. Don’t commit adultery.
8. Don’t steal.
9. Don’t slander.
10. Don’t envy.

In terms of commands, God could have asked us to defend the truth, make converts, or do quite frankly anything He wanted us to do. (That’s the thing about the job description for a god. The whole concept is that gods run things.) Instead, He focused on relationships to Him and to each other.

I think that’s significant.

As for the other rules, the smoking, drinking, and swearing rules, maybe we are measuring the wrong stuff. What if we started measuring people by their relationships? Or, what if we stopped measuring at all and focused on our own relationships. On the “being before doing”?

Hmmmm….. If Stephen Covey sparks this much thought with a paragraph, it’s going to take me the rest of the year to finish the book.

The Facebook Reunion

About five years ago, Lynette and I embarked on what I called the "Where are they Now Project?" We sent out questionnaires with six questions and tracked down our high school friends. It was so fun reading the information and seeing all of the photos as they were sent back in. Once I had them all, I collated everyone's photos and answers then sent it back out.

The project was so much fun, that I'd been thinking about doing an update. Then it occurred to me that there was a way to make it happen with very little work at all through Facebook.

In order to do this successfully, I knew I had to get it started, so I scanned a bunch of old photos and posted them, along with a few memories. I sent out invites to the people I knew, then googled the people I didn't and found quite a few.

The cool part is that each day a few more people seem to join. I've really enjoyed looking at the photo albums people are putting on their profiles.

As a side note, I found this picture from 1984. Yes, it is my prom dress. Yes, I was wearing way too much makeup even for the 1980's. And the thing I remember the most is how disappointed I was that I paid $20 to have my hair done and they simply put it in a pony tail. I was too shy to tell them how much I hated it.

I actually posted this picture to the group--for which Lynette-the-Cowgirl thought I was very brave. My theory is that we all have photos like this. It's just that now, we have the world wide web to share them on!

On Being Remarkable

I had an e-mail exchange with Mary Alice Kenley today. We met through our work with the Global Design Alliance.

Mary Alice is one of the most remarkable people I know. She's spent her life in public service. In fact, she has a congressional award. But the thing that makes Mary Alice remarkable isn't the things that she's done. It is who she is.

Of all of the people I've ever met, Mary Alice is one of the few who actually lives every day of her life to the fullest. She has taken her gifts and talents, and simply through the art of being herself, she has cultivated the ground she was planted in near Birmingham and made wonderful things happen.

My e-mail conversation with her made me look up a paragraph I read earlier in the week that sounded just like her. It is from Dale Carnegie's How to Worry Less and Live More (1944).

You are something new in the world. Be glad of it. Make the most of what nature gave you. In the last analysis, all art is autobiographical. You can sing only what you are. You can paint only what you are.

All art is autobiographical. I love that.

Mary Alice, you are very much a work of art. (I hope you Google yourself one day and find out I said so!)

A Random Monday

Chase is on Spring Break this week--which means a lot of his friends that go to school out of town are back for the week.

It's fun to see Chase in his "grown up" life....like when he is dressed up and wearing his AT&T badge for work, or working on a paper for school with Nichole, or even playing video games with his buddies--who have also grown up. He turns 20 in just two months, and this daily interaction is going away when he moves to Denton in September, so I'm enjoying.

Last night, we took Bethany and friends (Elisa and Saron) to the athletic banquet. (Elisa's mom did pick up. Thank you!!!)

The girls looked so beautiful in their dresses. Bethany decided to squeeze wrestling practice in before the event. We laughed when she came out of the locker room in her black dress and fuzzy slippers. (The rhinestone sandals were put on just before we drove away.) She did her makeup in the car and John gave railway crossing and green light alerts so she could do her mascara.

Bethany said that like any awards show, it was pretty boring, but the company was good, so she had fun.

Glider Meet Up

Today, John and I went to a Hope for Gliders meeting.

Hope for Gliders is the rescue organization we got Kayla from.

One of the challenges of owning sugar gliders is that most of the time, the breeders and pet stores who sell them don't give nearly enough information. Owning gliders is a lot more like owning a parrot than a hamster. They are intelligent. They need interaction and stimulation and have complex dietary needs. We bought Kazoo at a flea market two years ago because he was simply adorable. A year later we learned that gliders as colony animals really shouldn't be kept solo, so we looked into adopting a mate for him and discovered Hope for Gliders.

It was really amazing to me the difference Angie Higdon and Debbie Dunning were making in taking in rescues and finding homes for them. The information they gave John and I meant that Kazoo's life got a total upgrade.

I volunteered to do a website for them and launched hopeforgliders.org in May of 2007. The site is cool because it pulled all of the information they were distributing via handouts onto the world wide web making it accessible to everyone.

The meetings are fun because it gives glider owners the chance to talk and compare experiences. (Plus, we won the door prize. Always a great thing!)

The other cool thing is that we got to see George today. (You can read his story on the "connect" page of the site.) We met him last year, when he was barely alive and had been surrendered to HFG. It was really good to see him healthy and happy today.

The Joy of Teenagers

Note: Teenagers do not like to be disturbed in their natural habitat.

There is something inordinately fun about teenagers.

The biggest thing is that it is really cool to get to know the people your kids grew into.

Last night I got to have dinner with just Beth and I. It's a rare occurrance. With Bethany's schedule we mostly see each other when I am playing chauffer. So, it was nice to be able just to talk over homemade spaghetti at the pizza place we used to love, but now hardly ever make it to.

The cool part is that anything can happen when hanging out with teenagers. As it was, we wound up squeezing in time to buy a birthday card (in Spanish because it is funnier), finding out it is impossible to get a gift card for gas so we wound up substituting cash and writing "for gas" on the bills, shoepolishing silly things all over the windows of Alex's new car, and driving by honking and laughing at Alex as she discovered it, all in the window of 30 minutes between dinner and Bethany's Bible study.

I have to say, I'm really proud of my daughter. Not for good grades or because she is pretty or because she is a good athlete (though those things are cool)...but because of who she is. Her character.

Bethany, baby. I really like the woman you've become.

Me, me, me, me, me. More me.

Kathy-of-the-mom-bows sent me an e-mail today called "Getting to Know Your Friends." The premise is that the e-mail has a ton of questions that you answer, then forward to your friends.

I had fun reading through Kathy's responses and decided to do it myself via blog. (And as it was pointed out to me on Facebook by Nicki today, I've been low on content, so this turns out to be great inspiration).

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:00 AM

2. Diamonds or pearls? Neither. I like color.

3. Favorite TV show? Clean House. Love Niecy Nash!

4. What is your middle name? Diane

5. What is your favorite CD? With Abandon by Chasing Furies

6. Favorite item of clothing? Pink swishy skirt.

7. What color is your bathroom? Lime green.

8. Where would you retire to? Anywhere close to friends and family.

9. Most memorable birthday? 40th. John proposed to me formally at Best Thai in front of all of my friends.

10. Favorite team? The Knights (John's softball team).

11. Farthest place you are sending this? Duh, WORLD wide web.

12. Favorite saying? Actually a phrase, Imago dei.

13. Are you a morning or night person? Morning

14. Coffee or tea? AM Coffee / PM Tea with lime

15. What did you want to be when you grew up? A writer. I have too many partially finished novels in elementary school handwriting to count.

16. Favorite candy? Dark chocolate. Mmmmmm....

17. Favorite flower? Star lillies.

18. What are you listening to right now? Silence.

19. Do you wish on stars? Often.

20. If you were a crayon what color would you be? Everything in me is dying to say "burnt sienna" but more honestly cyan or red. Or lime.... Or magenta. C'mon. Can't I be all the colors?

21. What was your favorite game as a child? I loved walking in the field, picking flowers and making up stories in my head.

22. What friend have you had the longest? Lynette the Cowgirl

23. What did you do last night? Got to listen to John read another chapter of Voyage of the Dawn Treader with Bethany.

24. What are you afraid of? Nothing and everything.

25. Favorite restaurant? Cafe Sunflower in Atlanta

If you are still reading at this point...the beauty of the blog is that this doesn't just have to be about me. Feel free to answer the questions for yourself using the "post comment" button below.

Bryn's Birthday Party

My neice, Bryn, turned 18 this week and we hosted her birthday party at our house today.

Rhonda (SIL) brought a bunch of different pastas and toppings. Samantha (MIL) brought a fruit salad. Gordy & Esther (Rhonda's parents) brought dessert, and I threw together a salad. Making it a pretty easy party.

We played cards and Wii, but my favorite part of the day was hanging out on the back porch while Bethany and the neices played with bubbles.

Yes. At 18 or 40, you are never too old to play with bubbles.