NYE Party Remix

For practically our whole marriage, John and I have thrown a huge annual New Years Eve party. In fact, one of our favorite things about choosing this house was the ability to entertain.

This year, when we sent out our invitation we found that many of our friends weren't able to come. Rhonda and Troy are on a mission trip. Robin-the-Artist and Floyd-the-Sidekick have a new baby that they don't want to take out. Peter and Nancy-the-Insightful are doing something with wine friends. And after a week of negative responses or no response, we decided to scrap our usual and recraft something specifically designed for the couples who said "yes."

And so, tonight we've made plans for a fabulous fajita dinner (complete with sangria, limes for the Mexican beer and sopapillas for dessert) and have designed our own home version of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" starring John Hutchworthy as the host.

I have to say I love this stuff! And given that I've left all to today to prepare, I'd better get started!

The LEED Exam

The USGBC (United States Green Building Council) offers an accreditation to professionals in the design and contstruction industry for Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design (LEED). Today, I took the test...and passed.

If you are considering it, I want to let you know that it isn't something to be done casually. The sheer volume of information involved is daunting. I took a workshop, signed up for some other resources and studied about an hour a day for six weeks then spent 20 hours the two days before the test reviewing material. (And still the test was hard and I'm a reasonably good "test-taker".)

One of the great things about our whole team pursuing this at once is that we did a lot of studying together at lunch and were able to share information and study techniques back and forth.

Erin-the-Wonder-Woman took the test first. Left-brained as she is, she created a comprehensive study guide (including a calendar breaking out the 400 pages of reading) that she shared with the rest of us. She also taught me a technique that truly made a difference.

Someone created the WIMSEE chart that outlines prerequisites and number of points available for each section. Erin expanded the chart and used it as a memory device for the test.

At the testing station, there are several screens on how to take the test that they give you 10 minutes to review. Since they also provide you with two pencils and four sheets of paper, Erin read the screens fast, then wrote like crazy in the 8.5 minutes she had left. So, she scribbled down each heading in WIMSEE order, the prerequisites, then dots for each credit and the associated percentages and referenced standards she had memorized. This created an "anchor" as she went through the test so that she didn't blank as the questions came up.

I have to say, this saved my life and made a major difference in being able to recall the information as I went through the test.

Five of us at AD tested today and five of us passed, so there was much celebration as each person got back to the office making us now a total of 10. Of course, by far my favorite part of the whole endeavor has been that we've done this as a team. The studying, coaching, pulling for each and every one of us to make it and shared pain when someone has come close and failed simply highlights all of the beautiful intangibles about working with this group of people.

And so, I start 2009 as Random Cathy--LEED AP.

The Power of Shared Experience

If there were ever a formula to connection, it would have to be shared experience.

Shared experience has power. It's the reason you can have "a moment" with a group of strangers at a restaurant when something funny happens or as a nation when something tragic occurs. It is the reason audiences become one during a show.

For the past two months all of the people in my office have been pursuing LEED accreditation. This isn't a simple thing. The test is hard. And the fact that we are all doing it together has caused a great deal of ownership when someone passes or fails.

Last Sunday, Crosspointe set out on an endeavor to "be the church instead of having church" and shared Christmas gifts with some families in our community in financial crisis.

Last year, John and I had to gearshift because we found that most of our significant "shared experiences" weren't actually with each other and so we audited our lifestyles and made some pretty profound changes.

Here's the thing. Shared experience doesn't often "just happen." It takes a great deal of openness to allow yourself to be part of something. Of putting yourself in a place where something could occur or better yet in actually initiating something yourself. Not showing up or worse participation without your heart engaged is the far safer path.

Fight that.

The New Car

John and I bought a new car this week.

As it turns out, Fiona--Chase's motorcycle--really doesn't like the cold. To the point that she simply won't start some days. And not only that, but Chase isn't crazy about the cold either, so he decided he needed to get a car. As he looked around at used ones John and I started thinking about how we could help. John's Neon has great gas mileage and because we made the abysmally poor decision on some creative financing, also has an outrageously low payment (for eternity).

So, Chase decided to take the Neon--which he drove home yesterday--and John and I bought a new Chevy HHR. It fit our price range, functional needs, and as we shopped around, we realized it could meet one more unexpected need: Advertising.

John and I have talked endlessly about how to market the firm Troy started and he is now part of, Technogizmo which specializes in IT and computer consulting for small businesses. And after the dealer mentioning they had a "commercial" version with panels that could bear signage, it seemed like a perfect idea. After all, Technogizmo is primarily focused on DFW, and we couldn't ask for better exposure than sitting in rush hour traffic. So we chose the color based on the branding--causing John to reject the red one that was available and the blue one at Carmax with the three windows--and TADA--here is Gizzy.

We're still in that little window of joy where you get to drive the car around without feeling the pain of the first payment.

Joy!

Christmas with Grown-Up Children

When most people tell stories of Christmas it is about the children. Eyes glowing. Paper flying. Footed pajamas.

This was really the first year that both of our children are "adults." Chase is moved out and on his own. Bethany is driving and has a job. (In this picture Chase is wearing the sweater he bought for the Obnoxious-Christmas-Sweater-Christmas-Party. He said his whole team wore them to work as a joke, and that an older lady told him it was cute and asked where could she get one.)

And while we had so much fun with our extended family on both sides the last two days (the photo below is of Bethany and the nieces "shopping" in Grammie's shoe closet), one of the best parts was waking up in our own home--just the four of us--and having Christmas around our own tree.

And so, I discovered that one of the beautiful things about adult children is in the gifts they give to you because it shares their heart. Chase bought John a Julios certificate and a case for his iPhone. He went to a real jewelry store and bought a necklace for me. He gave Bethany the new Razr. Bethany bought John a silver computer mouse and had it engraved. For me, a gift card to my favorite clothing store. For Chase, a Zippo--also engraved.

The gifts were touching because they communicated that our children knew us and each other. Really knew us. And not that the cost of a gift ever counts, but both the kids spent lavishly which was also touching. (Chase, Beth...if you read this, don't do that again!)

An interesting thing about the gift-giving part of Christmas is that though it receives much criticism (American commercialism and all that) it is also part of the magic and joy. As if the time you spend walking down aisles and deciding in the wonder and hope of delighting someone, translates into the paper and the boxes and the shiny ribbon.

And there is something about that moment, when the recipient is lifting up the tape to look inside to unlock the surprise that all of us feel like small children again.

I so love Christmas!

Christmas Eve

Today we spent Christmas with my family. Presents, pizza and laughter.

Chase got to ride Uncle Rick's Harley.

Austin introduced me to a new commedian on You Tube.

Elissa made me laugh out loud with her witty observations.

Bethany got to show off her zebra heels.

And, John got double presents since we were out of town on his birthday.

An hour drive home. A real sit down dinner together. And now, we wait for Santa.

So fun!

It's Begun...

Last night, we drove to CS to pick up Chase. It was the first time I'd gotten to see where he lives with his room all set up because the last time we were there, he was moving in and all was in boxes. It looks great.

Since we left after work, we got back around 1:30am (though I did get a two hour nap in the car!)

As I crawled into bed, it was a nice feeling to have all of us under one roof--even if just for two days.

It's begun. Christmas is here!

"Needy" Families

Back when John was in the Army, we qualified for food stamps. Living on about $1000 a month with a baby, rent and a car payment, there were a lot of things that we now count as necessities that back then were a luxury.

This morning, Crosspointe canceled morning services and is partnering with CCA to take Christmas gifts to "needy" families. I love it that we are canceling "church" to simply be the church today. And as we've planned what we are taking to "our" family, I've done a lot of thinking about the days when we were on the receiving end.

First of all, it is difficult to be the recipient. I remember that when John's company brought us a box with a turkey, a ham, and tons of "fixings" that I sat in the floor and cried after the people left because I was so grateful, but it was awkward making small talk with them when they came to deliver the package. We also made the box that was supposed to be for a single meal last for two weeks, so we could use the grocery money (about $30 a week at that time) to buy gifts for our family for Christmas.

I remember that sometimes Samantha (John's mom) would randomly put $10 or $20 in the mail and we would be so excited because it meant we could order pizza and get ice cream.

I remember that I loved it when John's single Army buddies would come by because they would bring food with them. The stuff we couldn't afford like soda or cookies.

I remember that even in the early years at Caldwell Scott and AD, the best part of getting a bonus from work was that I could go to the grocery store without keeping the tally in my head and I could fill the whole list instead of just part of it.

In all of that time, we never felt "needy." In thinking about the term, it occurs to me that most families don't think of themselves as "needy." After all, there is always someone poorer than you.

It also occurs to me that is what we are supposed to be doing. Always. Sharing our gifts. Not those who 'have' with those who 'have not' but all of us with everything. The artists sharing art with those who are not artistic. Accountants giving financial advice. Musicians playing music for those of us who can't. The organized helping the disorganized...

Generosity is about way more than food banks and money. Generosity is the way things were designed to be. None of us lacking. None of us alone. None of us "needy."

I'm unsure why God entrusted the care of us to each other, but He did. It is almost 9am. We'd better get to it.

The Rainbow Connection

Yesterday morning on the flight to Minneapolis, there was a rainbow outside my window for the entire trip.

On the way home? Three stars. Orion's belt.

It is no wonder that the whole day, Kermit the Frog has been joyfully singing in my memory...

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,
And look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

All of us under its spell,
We know that it's probably magic...

Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be...
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Laa, da daa dee da daa daa,
La laa la la laa dee daa doo...

written by Kenny Ascher and Paul Williams. I have the Kenny Loggins version...

Frustration...

This has been a weekend of frustration.

Christmas shopping (too many people, too little inspiration), car shopping (yes, the sales people still play cheezy games like having us test drive the next model up instead of what was in the ad), LEED practice test (which I bombed even though I've studied a ton this week), returning to the office for forgotten files, BOA's auto loan application setup (I want to talk with a human!), revamping our NYE party, Bethany's car overheating, soaking my iPhone with the water hose (not acting okay)....and while I could subject you to copious amounts of whining details needless to say, I feel like I've lived this weekend driving the wrong way down a one way street.

I'm sure my Zen-like friends would have something profound to say about balance or flowing around obstacles like water over rocks, but right now I would prefer a jackhammer and some Advil.

Cliffy and Katya

I've often laughed that when I decided to marry John that Clifton (and Scott) came along as part of the package. So, Clifton (like John) has been part of my life for 20+ years. About 12 years ago, when he decided to take a programming job in St. Petersberg, we thought he was nuts. After all, why would you go live somewhere that you didn't speak the language, had no friends, and was absolutely bitterly cold compared to Texas?

Then, when he let us know three years later that he was bringing back a wife, I have to admit I wasn't so sure about it. After all, Clifton is family. What if I wasn't crazy about my new sister-in-law?

Katya was a total surprise. Completely unafraid, she let me drag her from one adventure to the next and we had fun. Her son, Vadim (5 at the time) became fast friends with Chase (though Chase complained at the time that he always spoke Russian).

Now, Dr. Kathryn Bean has more letters after her name than you could imagine, their son (now William) is a junior at UT and daughter, Natalie, is simply beautiful.

However, Katya's extensive software development and intense study hasn't gone unnoticed. She was recruited by a software company in Dublin and they are moving next week.

Last night, we went to their home--which was mostly in boxes--and shared pizza and stories. It seems odd to think that this is the last time we will see them for awhile. She showed us photos from her interview trip the last time we got together at Trinity Tavern in Mockingbird station (amazing food and any type of beer you could possibly imagine). The city is beautiful and I had no idea Dublin was the global Silicon Valley until she told me. (She also showed me google.ie in Gaelic. Really interesting.

Natalie, like Katya, is fine with the adventure and though she is sad to leave her friends she is also excited to discover Ireland. (Natalie often visits her grandparents in Russia during the summers and is as fluent as William so she is already very cosmopolitan.)

John wants to see Cliffy again on Sunday for some one-on-one time before they depart. (As you might imagine, their schedule is intense as they prep to leave.) The thing we have now that we didn't have the last time Clifton lived overseas is easy internet connection.

Cliffy, you'd better set up your blog today. Because for me, that is way more important than you packing boxes!

Joy by the side of the road

While on the way to Grapevine Mills, we came to a place where traffic almost completely stopped.

There, by the side of the road was a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. I'm assuming it is there all the time, but someone honored it for the season with tinsel and balls.

It gave me joy.

My husband, the model

Today, I discovered that my husband was the "model" on our attorney's legal ethics blog.

Too, too funny!

Random Updates

Fantasy football: Smack talk is not nearly as fun when you are in 3rd place. Sigh.

Currently in my car CD player: Indie artist, Roger Clyne's "Americano." Love it! (Thanks, Tim!)

Most random thing that happened this week: Had lunch with a table of strangers rather than eat by myself at Taqueria Paloma.

Sad moment: Katya told me today that she and Cliffy leave for Dublin next week.

Unexpected discovery: That LinkedIn has a very useful Outlook plugin.

Best Facebook status: ...John is eating milk duds, waiting on the heater guy. (I had no idea!)

Stealing Ornaments

Tonight, Elsa-the-Poet and I got to go to the Ornament Exchange party. Last year, we had an elaborate strategy that involved stealing each other's gifts so we could "freeze" the ones we wanted.

This year, we wound up with stuff we liked without much effort.

There was also more "pretty" this year rather than hilarious. With one notable exception...

Kathryn Phillips (who is kicking my butt in fantasy football) did a "regift" of an ornament which wound up with Kimberly-the-Behavior-Therapist. (After a serious back-and-forth stealing match with her roommate. Who I suppose now has partial custody.)Personally, had it been unwrapped first, I would have completely had to go for it.

As it was, I wound up with a brass bell that I adore. (Love the way that brass reflects the Christmas lights!)

Choose a Side

Monday nights for me are all about watching Heroes. This season has focused on Villains. The catchphrase that the promo spots feature is "Choose a Side."

It is interesting to me that the concept of heroes and villains is hard-wired into us. Stories where the lines are blurred between the bad guys and the good guys aren't nearly as emotionally satisfying as the ones where it is clear cut. (Think about the satisfaction of Independence Day.)

Anyway, this season of Heroes has me thinking a lot about what makes a "villain" and what makes a "hero."

***SPOILER ALERT***** If you haven't seen last night's episode, read no further.

Last night, Sylar, who had opportunity for redemption, chose a side. Not hesitantly. Not tentatively. But full force.

Interestingly, my husband made the following comment: "He gave up on himself."

Hmmmm....

I'd never thought about the line between hero and villain in those terms.

It was interesting to me to think along those lines as I read Ron Martoia's post again this morning:

Part of the shift in perspective (some call it conversion or transformation of our awareness) is learning to live from the deepest fullest “self”. I would call this the Imago Dei. Us learning to live from the breath of God part of who we are, the highest, best, most whole, true self.

Hmmm.....

Interesting to think about choosing a side not as an exterior line, but an interior one...

Advent

Yesterday at Crosspointe the service focused on Advent. Funny, here it is only twenty days away from Christmas, and I wasn't quite aware. John and I have been running so hard and so fast, somehow I missed it.

That is until yesterday morning.

David-the-Artist-Pastor reminded us of a time when Bibles were in Latin--inaccessible to most--and the Christmas story was shared in carols. Then the team sang The First Noel with Steve Garrett playing his 100-year-old mandolin. It was magical.

David often creates services with a "worship response." Something tangible that allows you to physically participate. Yesterday there were tiny scrolls of paper on which we were to write seven words. Then the scroll was to be placed on our Christmas tree.

If you are wondering, my words were: By Your hands, not mine. Thank you.
because for me, the beauty of the Christmas story is that we didn't have to think it up.

God didn't save the world through a list of rules and regulations. God saved the world by loving it. By sacrifice. Which when you dwell on it, is more beautiful even than mandolin music and Christmas lights.

The Christmas Party and Spontaneous Collaborative Art

This weekend was the Christmas party for AD at the Great Wolf Lodge. Normally, we spend a Saturday together with all of the families, but this time, the event began on Friday night.

I loved the view out the window where we had dinner(and Santa, you were amazing!) Once the kids were all in bed, those of us without young children hung out in the bar sharing stories and laughter. (This was one of my favorite moments of the weekend.) The rooms were "lodgelike" and after I remembered I had to set my iPhone not to powersave for the whitenoise app to function, John and I actually got a decent nights sleep.

The next morning, we went to the indoor waterpark. The waterslides were truly great. (Two of the best ones actually exit the building, then wrap back in.) HOWEVER, the first one we tried--the one I call THE CONE OF TERROR--was truly terrifying. You ride in a raft with others. The first time when I rode it with John, I couldn't even open my eyes, it was so scary. The second time with Courtney and Nancy, I looked. (Hey, kudos to me that there actually was a second time.) I'm not sure which strategy was better.

The other slides required tubes. Of those, the "green slide" was the best! I wound up on that one a lot. And you know, the lines weren't bad since we were standing in them talking with friends. (The wavepool also rocked!)

The cabana the company rented provided a nice anchor point to stash gear, run into others, have lunch or get something to drink.

And now for the spontaneous collaborative art piece... As we were standing in line on the stairs that lead up to one of the tallest slides, there was a ledge filled with hairbands. The random circles laid on top of each other creating a colorful pattern on the otherwise boring white space. And so I began to wonder who flung the first one? The second? How many did it take before people began to participate en masse in this spontaneous collaborative art piece?

This isn't the only time it has happened. I remember as a little girl "the gum tree" in line for the Runaway Mine Train at Six Flags over Texas. The oak was covered in a vast array of colored blobs.

And while I'm sure there is some great sociological experiment here, I believe the most significant part is that we do it. (Hey, if I'd had a hairband, I definitely would have participated.) We like to leave our mark. To be part. It connects us with the other strangers that are sharing the day with us somehow.

As for my AD friends, I loved sharing the experience of the event with you. (If we get to do this again next year, let's all bring hairbands.)

Losing the Plot

There is value in things that create story and identity.

In a world where offices are becoming decentralized and many things are self-directed, it occurs to me that there is danger in "losing the plot."

Mission, vision, identity...not the cheesy over-generalized statements that sometimes make it to a plaque on the wall, but the real story. The specifics. The things that make you part. The anecdotes. The celebrations. The look. The vibe. All of those things have intense importance if you want to accomplish something amazing with a group. Being part of a compelling story energizes and creates momentum.

While this is critical for companies and organizations, it might actually be easier to look at on a family level.

Families share a resemblance. They typically have a residence that reflects their tastes and a sense of who they are. They share stories. They have photo albums. They play games or share other group activities. There are habits and holiday traditions. There are identifiers that make them part of that family and not the family next door. If someone bullies one, the others will stand and defend.

And yet, it is very, very easy to threaten this. To forget what we're part of. To "lose the plot." To become so busy in the individual tasking, that we forget the corporate.

As leaders--whatever form that might take (parents, project managers, pastors)--a key role is to create that sense of belonging. To retell the stories that celebrate identity. To highlight the family resemblance. To stand and defend. Because unlike families (though this happens there too sometimes), people have the option to leave if you don't offer them a compelling story. Or worse, they stay but disengage because they don't know their character is integral to the plot.

The best part? If you do your job well, then when things get hard people rally and heroes step forward because their story is intricately connected to yours. They know who they are in the narrative and what they should do.

Yesterday, I got to sit around a conference table with a group of "heroes" as they plotted to fight the dragon and save the world. (Well, our world anyway.) As strategies were discussed, there was no doubt that we were "all in." That our stories were tied together.

And the interesting thing was--like with all good stories--the heroes were committed to sacrifice without prompting. Were ready to draw their swords and fight alongside. To stand and defend.

Now that is something worth belonging to. A story I am very proud to be part of.

The Gliders and the Red Lights

Yesterday, I received Suncoast's Glider Vet newsletter which talked about using red lights to make it easier to see your gliders play. So, John and I purchased a couple of red lightbulbs for his office last night and it is really cool.

For the first time, I've been able to watch their interactions clearly all morning. Silly gliders. They've run all over the office. Chittered at each other. Explored the cubbies. (Usually they do this with only the light of the computer screen and I miss most of it.)

In case you didn't know, gliders are very intelligent and very curious. The "zoos" always notice new things. (John, you should have seen them checking out your new office chair.)

In fact, when I snapped this picture, it made Kazoo so curious that I couldn't get another because he ran up to grab the camera. Then he focused on the SD card and tried to pull it out of the computer as I attempted to download.

I'm sad to end their play time, but it is now time to get ready for work. Kazoo is still jumping from place to place still while Kayla has settled down in the sleeve of my robe to get ready for bed. (They sleep during the day and play at night and the early morning.)

Luckily, John and I also bought peach yogurt last night. (Their favorite.) All it will take is a spoon, and Kazoo will jump to my shoulder and go with me anywhere!

Making Nancy Smile

So today at work, I mentioned that I really missed Nancy-the-Insightful and Ben decided to help remedy that situation.

Not quite as good as a morning at Bic's, but it will have to do.

Thanksgiving Trip

John and I just got back from New Mexico where we spent time with his parents.

They live far out in the country, so it is a 10 hour drive past cotton fields and tumbleweeds. The scenery looks like every Western movie you've ever seen.

The interesting thing to me is the difference in the pace of life. Everything moves much slower, so it is truly relaxing. Another thing that struck me was that I got to see stars. The sky is amazingly huge out there because of the lack of development, and without all the lights, the sky is covered with hundreds of little white points of light.

So, for a week, we spent days of long conversations, long walks, evenings playing cards, limited computer connection (though kudos to AT&T, my iPhone was fully connected all week!), and a killer Wii bowling tournament. (So glad John thought to bring it.)

Now, I find I am still moving at a rural pace, even though it is Monday morning. My guess it that will change, once I get to the office and hit e-mail!