Brokenness

If you live a life pursuing God, you'll find that you go through continual levels of brokenness.  Places where your perspective is radically changed between who you are and who He is.
 
The funny part is that study--what we dedicate much of our 'church time' toward rarely contributes to this.  In the school of brokenness, God himself is the teacher. And it would appear that the model is much more like an apprenticeship than a room with chairs and a projection screen.

For us, we are the center.   After all, we are in our own heads all the time.  Our whole story is a first-person narrative.  The life lessons that cause brokenness shift our perspective.  They cause a radical change in how we see our character's role in the story.

Here's the thing.  The point that is so important.

If we walk through the process.  If we allow ourselves to let go of all the "self" things that we allow to define us....self-confidence, self-pity, self-congratulations, self-esteem...and acknowlege God's position as higher than us and His right to our 'selves' then something amazing happens.  The whole scripture about 'he who seeks to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will find it' comes to pass.

It would seem that brokenness would....well, break us.  But what we find when we go through it--and it is absolutely our choice, because we have the option of hanging on or re-creating all the things that we believe are important (prestige, reputation, looks, material things, relationships, pride, self sufficiency)--in the breaking we find our true selves.  The real us.  The one that hopes, dreams, feels alive.  And we can see how shallow the things that lie in the rubble really are.

Make no mistake, there is intense pain in brokenness...and it is usually dreadfully unexpected.  Because unless God reveals it, we don't know what we are putting faith in besides Him.  Gold idols are easy to spot.  But the parts of ourselves we worship are far more insidious. The tearing of flesh always brings pain.  But the freedom on the other side of it is indescribable.
© Random Cathy
Maira Gall