Weekend with the BFF's

Each year--for at least the past 15 years--my four best high school friends and I get together for a slumber party...just like we did in high school.  So, for a weekend we aren't women with careers and families.  Instead we are sixteen again swapping makeup tips, laughing about boys and solving all the world's problems. From left to right in this picture is LP, Lynette-the-Cowgirl, LC, Kristi-Gee-From-Tennessee, and me. 

Each year, the reunion rotates to who plans it and we all go to that person's city.  This year, it was LP's year to host and she suggested we all go to Great Wolf Lodge.  The five of us shared a room. (Which felt a lot like our old days at summer camp.)  We ate junk food, rode waterslides, and generally laughed ourselves silly.

LP suggested we all get tattoos. (The airbrushed kind.)  Which we did.  (Almost as fun as talking each other into getting real ones but without the buyers remorse that occurs when you get a tattoo on a lark.)

We all laughed that this year we didn't need as much time to catch up on what happened over the last year since we are all on Facebook and get to see each other's lifestreams.(Which meant we had time to go see a chick flick.)

As the years go by, I continue to be amazed at this group of women. It is truly unlike any other.  First of all...all of them speak highly of their husbands--not in a bragging sort of way (which would be annoying) but in an appreciative sort of way.  (Which says a lot not only about the men, but the women they live with.)

All of us love our kids deeply and each of us have some type of career.

All of us love Jesus, so often our conversation takes a spiritual turn.  And we equally laugh about the crazy religious world we grew up in and all of the stuff that made it too geeky for words.

It is really nice to be around those with whom you can say, "remember when?"  And they do.

The Hidden Wet Bar

When we first moved into our house, my husband spent a lot of time looking at one of the walls in our living room.

John - "There's space back there."

Me - "What do you mean there is space back there?"

John - "There's space back there.  See, the pantry stops here.  Why wouldn't they take it all the way back to make it larger?"

John - Gets look in eye.

Me - "Don't cut into my wall."

John - Gets drywall saw.

Me - "Nooooooooooooooo! Don't do it!"

John - Sounds of saw sawing.  Runs to office. Grabs flashlight. Returns.   "Look at this."

Behind the hole in the wall we saw another wall.  Looked up to find a light fixture.  Looked down to see plumbing connections.  Someone drywalled over a wet bar. 

After we hired a contractor to cut away the rest of the wall, we could see the glue dots where a mirrored backing used to be. So at some point, it was a fully functioning wet bar.  Then someone walled over it. We've had a lot of fun theorizing why.

We had the contractor finish it out and as much as we entertain it has been perfect.  We set it up for every party and gathering.  Plus, we found these really great Talavera geckos for the back wall.  Way better than a mirror!

For Lent this year...

Inspired by David-the-Artist-Pastor's blog, I decided to actually participate in Lent this year.

What is Lent?
Lent is the practice of Christians to give something up for the 40 days prior to Easter.  It starts on Ash Wednesday (the day after Fat Tuesday) and ends on Easter Sunday.  It represents the 40 days Jesus fasted in the wilderness. 

So, what are you giving up?
People typically give up meat. (As a vegetarian, that's a low bar for me.)  Others give up creature comforts they love (chocolate, lattes, etc.) Others give up things they feel they shouldn't do (smoking, swearing). It seemed to me that if I did this it should be something that bears no resemblance to a new years resolution and something significant to me personally where I am right now in my life.

Ahem, so what are you giving up?
A little context...over the past few years I've been practicing contemplative prayer and meditation.  The idea of both is to step our of our normal flow of thoughts and simply be still on the inside and notice God's presence.  In this practice, I've become very aware of the litany of thoughts in my head and how many of them have to do with stuff in the past I can't change or stuff in the future that may not even happen.  (This blog is merely a small fraction of what goes on up there...smile.)

I love Rick Warren's take on meditation: "When you think about a problem over and over in your mind, that's called worry. When you think about God's Word over and over in your mind, that's meditation. If you know how to worry, you already know how to meditate!"

Until I read that paragraph, I had never equated worry and meditation, but there seems to be a theme. Contemplative prayer is also called "centering prayer" with the idea that you center yourself in the present moment where God is rather than having your mind in the past (remembering/regreting) or future (planning/worrying).

Which brings me to my commitment for Lent. My commitment is that for forty days I'm giving up worry.  Each time I notice that my thoughts are centered on what might happen in the future, I'll trust God with the future and bring my thoughts back to the present.

Um, that sort of seems impossible...
I'm actually not going for perfection with this.  I'm going for intention.  There are millions of thoughts. I know I can't catch them all. But when I notice, I plan to not spend time on worry.  To tangibly trust that God has it covered.

Nancy-the-Insightful has a lovely practice of wearing her ring on the wrong finger to remind her of things.  I plan to wear a bracelet to remind me.  (Shasta gave me a really pretty one yesterday that is small enough that I can wear it all the time, but each time it hits my line of sight I will be reminded.)  It is also light (both in weight and color) and that seems significant somehow.

Side note on worry...
When Jesus spoke about worry (in the book of Matthew 6: 25-34) He uses the examples of food and clothes.  We live in a country that has abundance of both, so it would seem that we wouldn't think about either.  And yet the magazine I just bought? All about food and clothes. (I'm recycling it to kick off Lent!)

Shasta!

Today I went to a Premiere Jewelry party at Shasta Gaither's house.  (If you are interested...she's a representative and can totally hook you up.) 

Shasta and I were friends in college and recently reconnected via Facebook. In fact, truth be told, until today I hadn't seen Shasta in over 20 years. (And yes, that number totally freaks me out.)

It was so fun to see she is exactly the same.  Shasta was always full of fun, personality and vibrant wit.  Awesome to get to be in the same room with her again. And even better that the spirit on the inside hasn't dimmed a bit. 

Plus, I scored an incredible necklace.

Social Networking for Small Businesses

Though there are different flavors of social networking platforms (Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc.) most work the same way:

1.  You create a profile page with a photo of yourself and some basic information.

2. You "friend" "connect" or "follow" people that you know by inviting them or accepting their invitation.

3. You post content by typing in a status update in the box on your home page, uploading photos, or commenting on other people's posts.

4. There is a news feed on the home page that reports the activity of all of your "friends" "connections" or people you are following. This news feed is where the magic happens. It is like a newspaper reporting only on your connections and reporting about you to everyone else.

One of the reasons social networking is so powerful both professionally and personally is that it creates a structure for connecting people, ideas, and events in a way that wouldn't happen in the physical world.

You probably have a number of different social circles.  Family, friends, co-workers, classmates, church, a hobby group, sports team, book club, etc.  Each of those people know a small portion of who you are--and chances are (unless they are your co-workers)--they have no idea what you do professionally. By posting information about what you do and participate in--you begin to open a window to that world and people who are interested can connect.

For example, one of my connections is a writer who frequently posts what topics she is writing on.  When I know someone with that expertise, I connect them with her.  My friend gets publicity and she gets a source and makes her deadline. The thing is that everyone in her network does this making it very valuable for her.

The bubble tea shop in my neighborhood has a page on Facebook. (I discovered this because someone in my network became a fan and it showed up in my news feed). I frequently stop in when the "tea of the day" is something I've always wanted to try and have attended events they've announced that sounded interesting to me. (Their business is doing very well because I'm not the only one who does this.)

Just yesterday, I posted that I was learning about "augmented reality" (AR) and my daughter's best friend's mom, told me about Esquire magazine this month being an AR issue and I was able to share the link she sent with the rest of my team which helped us with our presentation.

If you are a massage therapist, artist, yoga instructor, or have a band and frequently participate in events or workshops, you can post that information and invite people or simply talk about it in your status.  (You can also post photos after the event and write a recap on it to make people wish they had.)

If you are a business with a physical location, as people in your network "become a fan" or "friend" your business other people in their network who are geographically close can discover you too.  You can also be proactive in this on Twitter and deliberately follow people who are in your geographic location.  To search by geographic location, you simply go to search.twitter.com and narrow the feed to a zipcode.

Social networking takes a bit of time investment to do right.  If you are new to social networking, you can begin by committing an hour once a week, then move to checking it daily.  If you are currently using social networking personally, consider letting the lines blur between the personal and professional so that you begin to create interest in your professional world.

Of course, the best part of social networking is that it is the most affordable--and potentially effective--advertising you could possibly do. And as a small business owner--who doesn't love free!

Space Strategies | A place to land

A space strategy I wish I'd learned earlier is the value of creating an unobstructed path to "the place to land."

A key mistake I made in our first house was that guests entering the front door saw a wall of entertainment equipment, but not the couch. (I've seen others make this mistake by having visitors greeted by the back of the couch.) In fact, until I rearranged the main living area, our house didn't sell. (Underlining the effectiveness of the strategy.)

Designing a room so that the "place to land" is in sight with no obstacles in the way is the difference between whether a room feels welcoming or feels cold. A secondary space strategy for this room that it uses low profile furniture. The room appears much bigger than it really is because there is "air" between the pieces. (The high ceiling also helps the illusion by creating "air" above.)

The "place to land" strategy works in bedrooms by having the headboard be the first thing you see when you walk into a bedroom. The bed essentially invites you to lay down. (Note that I wish we'd chosen a queen instead of a king to create "air" in this space.) While your space may not allow you to arrange in that format in the master or kids spaces, it is almost always achievable in a guest room.

Another use of the "place to land" strategy is in creating secondary places to land. This can be a rocker or bench by your front door. A stool in your kitchen so that someone could sit and talk as another prepares. A loveseat in an office or a chair placed by a window. In reality, these secondary "places to land" may never be used, but simply the fact that they could creates the message that the house welcomes a person to sit. To rest. To linger.

Muscle Memory

I've only recently heard of the concept of muscle memory. Per Wikipedia: Muscle memory, also called neuromuscular facilitation, is the neuromuscular system's memorization of motor skills. I first heard about it in yoga class from Jenny-the-Yoga-Lifeguard, then on an episode of Castle (great show by the way).

Since the TV show example is more interesting, I'll start there....Becket and Castle are working to solve a murder where the main witness has amnesia. Castle hands the man a pen and asks him to sign something--which he does without thinking. The body retains muscle memory. (Unfortunately the signature was like most and they could only get the first letter which made for another 30 minutes of television drama.)

In yoga, the idea is that you can teach your body to expand its range of motion by holding a pose for an extended period of time. Not about exercise and building muscle, but about actually teaching your body what it can do.  How to balance.  How to relax.  What is interesting to me is how the idea of "muscle memory" works beyond the physiological to the psychological.

For example, I spend at least 60 hours a week sitting in a chair.  (Most of this is done at a computer.  Some in front of a TV and the rest driving a car.)  That's a lot of muscle memory for sitting.  When I was a kid, I spent most of my time playing.  Laughing.  Riding a bike. Turning cartwheels.  It was a never-ending experimentation of what my body could do--a whole different physical paradigm.

Yesterday morning at yoga class (led by Victoria-the-Dancer), we played.  We danced, bounced, stretched and were silly with huge colorful balls.  It was fun. 

This morning I woke up sore (from using muscles not typically engaged in sitting) but what is more profound is that I feel younger on a holistic level.  Lighter, as if I don't have a bunch of adult things to solve--much more like a kid than a marketing diva. Is that because my muscles were reminded what it was like to be five again?  

What if our bodies get old because we stop moving? Stop playing?

I think this principle probably works on a mental level too. But I'll have to explore that in another post. I'm done sitting for today!

Snow!

In Dallas we get snow maybe--maybe--once a year.  And when we do it is just a thin layer that melts then refreezes into treacherous driving conditions.   However, this year was different. Last night, we had a record 12.5 inches of snow.  Never have I seen my world look so beautiful as if someone put sparkles and lace all over every single thing.

I had to call Nancy-the-Insightful to ride to work with me so we could oooh and ahhh together.  And the morning commute didn't disappoint.  What is normally mundane was transformed into magical.

Last night--after dinner with my friend Elsa-the-Poet--John and I went by his office so he could follow up on a computer he'd left running something.

On the way back to the car, I got to make my very first snow angel. (It was AWESOME!)

It worked!!

After working with "the starter" day before yesterday, I made the dough and let it rise. 

Yesterday morning, I separated into pans then put them in the oven to rise with only the light on. (Given that we are in the middle of snowpocolypse the house is cold!)

When I got home last night, I had four perfectly risen loaves like the one on the right.  But along the way two of them fell. (Ben said that I let them rise about two hours too long and that you have to be careful in shifting them from one place to the next.)

I baked at 325 for 22 minutes and...perfection!  Even the "fallen" loaves taste wonderful. 

I made these loaves per recipe with white flour.  This weekend I plan to experiment with whole wheat. Ben tells me this is science. (I asked him not to say that because I suck at science.)

John and I wrapped the two perfect loaves up and drove them to friends' houses last night to share the joy. I got a text from David-the-Artist-Pastor who said it rocked with Ugandan honey.

Of course, the best part is that the starter is the gift that keeps on giving.  To keep it alive, you have to go through this process every two weeks.

An Experiment

For most of human history, knowing how to make bread was a survival skill.  In fact, it often surprises me how easily and skillfully my Indian, Pakistani and Hispanic friends can make the traditional breads of their culture.

I can make cornbread in a cast iron skillet--which I guess is the bread of my culture--but I do it from a mix, so that wouldn't seem to count. Making yeast breads (without a mix or machine) seems the epitome of intimidating.  And yet...sometimes Ben in our office--who happens to live only a few blocks from me--brings bread. Amazing bread.  Not only is the bread really special in taste, but it is made from a starter his mom has used since Ben was in school.

Last night, Ben gifted John and I with some "starter" and coached us on how to care for it and make bread from it. The thing with a starter is that it is actually alive and you have to "feed" it. So this morning, I got up....fed it per Ben's instructions...and if all goes well, we will have bread by tomorrow night!

Last time I tried to make something with a starter--kombucha--I got a little freaked about it because it looked like snot and was called a symbiot. I've watched too much Star Trek not to be afraid of a rapidly growing symbiot, so we are definitely calling the starter "yeast" and not something living and growing rapidly in our kitchen that might take over the universe. Besides, if Ben's mom has had it for 20 years then I figure we're safe.  Of course, if we start producing biodiesel in our garage, you might want to send a team...

Is Beauty Cultural? (And if so, can I change cultures?)

Margaret Nyoni is beautiful.  She has sparkling eyes and a brilliant smile. She also has a good eye for fashion. I don't think I've ever seen Margaret looking "frumpy."

Margaret is one of the few people I could actually ask why it seems that African women don't seem to have the same hang-ups that Anglo women do about size.

Margaret explained that in Africa size 14 - 18 women are considered more beautiful than say, size 4, because it is healthy.  (David-the-Artist-Pastor confirmed that in Uganda, the Western-produced mannequins are added to with wire frames to make them wider and curvier.)

With African-American women there is a beauty that seems to come from within--a confidence that radiates whether size 4 or size fourteen.  I know this isn't true across the board, but I'm curious if someone did a sociological study if they wouldn't find that African-American women actually know more about how to be beautiful. Margaret promised we could get together for coffee at some point to talk about it because she has noticed the same phenomenon, but her short e-mail answer was that she believes it is about discovering who you really are. About not conforming to the box that society says you belong in.

Similarly, my friend Dixa from Panama is gorgeous.  When I met her mom back when Dixa and I were next door neighbors in our early twenties, I was blown away by how fashionable she was.  Twenty-something me had never met a woman in her forties who wore a sparkly gold belt in a size 14.  (Dixa actually found a belt like that for me and mailed it to me when I moved back to the states.  I still have it!)

I'm curious why we don't give our daughters symbols of what it looks like to be feminine and beautiful in a context that isn't dependent on wearing a smaller size jean.  Poor Bethany.  I can't do it.  I've been dieting since I was twelve and have been everything from size 8 (pre-kids) to a size 18.  At a size 12 (right now) I'm still not happy.

I hate it that all the female TV stars change their faces the second season after their show becomes a hit and everyone pretends not to notice.  Hate it that young girls have their real breasts torn out and balloons stuffed in so they can be "sexy." (Seriously. Think that one through. Ow.)

But mostly I hate it that I can run, dance, laugh, speak, see...and can't appreciate any of that half the time because I'm so focused on the belly flab or bingo arms. Seriously.  What is wrong with me?  (Apparently lots.) 

If only I could change cultures with a spray tan.  It would be cheaper and way less scary than plastic surgery.

The Sad Tale of John's iPhone

Subtitle:  that looked like it was going to have a happy ending, but alas did not...

So after a long chaotic day, Bethany reminded John my car was out of gas.  John goes to the pump, phone in hand, sets the phone on top of the car and fills the tank, then rushes off to his and Beth's appt. (Leaving said phone on top of the car.)

When he realizes what has happened, he drives back to the gas station, but no phone in site.

The next day...in the drizzle...we are at the same gas station, leave the same way, and see his phone on the curb of the median.

It looks like this...

So, John says..."I wonder if it still works."  I hit the button, and it looks like this...

At this point we are REALLY excited.  John goes online and orders a screen replacement kit which we got in the mail yesterday. 

So, John gets out his tools.  Finds a YouTube video of how to take the whole thing apart and replace it. At which point he learns that either a) the phone got too squished during its time on the streets to come apart as shown on the video; or 2) you have to have tiny ant hands to actually work with the microscopic screws and small spaces to accomplish the steps in the video. 

Now, the phone looks like this...

Moral to the story? The bummer part about cool electronics is that it is easy to make really expensive mistakes in the course of your day-to-day life.
 
The End.

Mind-Bending Stuff

This morning, I read a Psalm: “You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you.”- Psalm 86:5  Keep in mind the "all who call to you" as I share what else I read...

Sometimes I do the devotions at sacredspace.ie.  It is a site run by the Irish Jesuits.  Each day they post a scripture reading and prayer that is very beautiful. Of all the people in the world, locked by war, you might imagine that the Irish Catholics and Irish Protestants have a longing for peace.  At the bottom of the site there was a link to Prayer for Peace on Earth...and this is what I found...

Buddhist prayer...Evoking the presence of the great compassion, let us fill our hearts with our own compassion - towards ourselves and towards all living beings.  Let us pray that all living beings realise that they are all brothers and sisters, all nourished from the same source of life.

I've never read a Buddhist prayer before. And though this will sound silly, my first response was "how do they know that?"  How do they know that God's character is compassion. After all, how different is "the great compassion" than the Apostle John writing "God is love"?  The prayers continued...


Jewish Prayer...Cause us, O Father, to lie down in peace, and rise again to enjoy life. Spread over us the covering of your peace, guide us with your good counsel and save us for the sake of your name. Be a shield about us, turning away every enemy, disease, violence, hunger and sorrow. Shelter us in the shadow of your wings, for you are a God who guards and protects us, a ruler of mercy and compassion…. Blessed are you, Lord, who spreads the shelter of peace over us, over His people Israel, and over all the world.

Jain Prayer...Lead me from death to Life, from falsehood to Truth. Lead me from despair to Hope, from fear to Trust. Lead me from hate to Love, from war to Peace. Let Peace fill our heart, our world, our universe. - Satish Kumar

Baha’i Prayer...Be generous in prosperity, and thankful in adversity. Be fair in thy judgement, and guarded in thy speech. Be a lamp unto those who walk in darkness and a home to the stranger. Be eyes to the blind, and a guiding light to the feet of the erring. Be a breath of life to the body of humankind, a dew to the soil of the human heart and fruit upon the tree of humility.

Hindu Prayer...Oh God, lead us from the unreal to the Real. Oh God, lead us from darkness to light. Oh God, lead us from death to immortality. Shanti (Peace), Shanti, Shanti unto all. Oh Lord God almighty, may there be peace in celestial regions. May there be peace on earth. May the waters be appeasing. May herbs be wholesome, and may trees and plants bring peace to all. May all beneficent beings bring peace to us. May thy peace itself bestow peace on all, and may that peace come to me also.

Muslim prayer...O God! O our Master! You are eternal life and everlasting peace by your essence and attributes. The everlasting peace is from You and it returns to You. O our Sustainer! Grant us the life of true peace and usher us into the abode of peace. O Glorious and Bounteous One! You are blessed and sublime.


Christian Prayer of St Francis of Assisi...Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.  Where there is hatred let me sow love.  Where there is injury; pardon. Where there is doubt; faith. Where there is despair; hope.  Where there is darkness; light.  Where there is sadness; joy.

Yes, I know that there are beliefs beyond these prayers that contridict with Christian beliefs.  But given that we have many beliefs within the Christian community that contradict each other, isn't it possible that there are some things we are simply wrong about? And maybe even possible that our wrong beliefs don't stop God from having a relationship with us?

Going back to the Psalm, it occurs to me that there are many who call to God. If He responds in love to them, how could we do less?  Not tolerance. Not coexistance.  Actual, active love.

I believe that Jesus Christ died to pay for the sin of all (and they just don't know it yet).  It would seem that there is a reason we are not commanded to make people believe.  We are commanded to love.  As it happens, trying to get people to believe like you do does not bring peace.  Loving them always does.

ATC Swap - Moving Parts

The theme for January's "Until April" ATC swap was "Moving Parts."   And I know I say this each time I blog about the ATC group, but I continue to be blown away by just how different the pieces turn out.

A single theme.  A standard size 3.5 x 2.5 (same as a playing card).  And interpretations as unique as the artists themselves.  The top left is Melody Hay's piece--which athough there were no literal moving pieces, the paint and objects have motion.

Debra Kolce's piece really drew me.  This picture doesn't fully reveal the texture of the canvas or the way it reflects light.  And the printing to the fabric of the flower engages me every time I look at it.

I didn't get how Jennifer Elwell's piece related to "moving parts" initially, because the card got crunched a bit in the mail.  When the brad is loosened the flower moves down the path when you flip the card.

Monica Cobbey's card actually does reach out and touch you when you pull the tab.  I continue to enjoy the nostalgic touches Monica puts in her pieces. Like the 1800's clip art of the hand or scrabble tiles. (Monica also sent her take on "Candy", the December theme which contained Conversation Hearts.)

As for me, I decided to go with a "pop up book" theme to get motion. (Inspired by the Wizard of Oz book Rhonda-of-the-Comic-Strip-Pantyhose got for me.) The photos turned out badly, so I'm not sure you can really see...



Next months theme?  Nostalgia.  Only three more months left...