Snow monkeys, belonging and why Darwinism sucks...

John and I have been watching the series Life on the Discovery Channel.  It is a series that captures in stunning cinematography portions of life that few of us will ever get to see up close.

Last night we watched "Primates" and I was interested to learn about the Japanese snow monkeys. These primates live in the coldest climate imaginable in Japan. A group of them live in an area called Jigokudani ("Hell's Valley") due to the steep cliffs and hot water steaming out from the earth's surface. It is a harsh environment in winter with snow on the ground for a third of the year.

And while you might think that all of these monkeys have it good being able to warm themselves and play in spa-like pools with the water at a warming 105 degrees, the series explains that not all of them get to do so.  Only the most powerful and their offspring.  Others sit at the edges watching but never being allowed in. Elitism in monkeys seems really, really sad.

The narration for the series is typical science textbook on how life began and evolved...each species eventually developing into another across millions of years.  Whether you embrace evolution, creationism, or some blend of the two, there is something about Darwin's "survival of the fittest" that can't be ignored.

In Darwin's theory it is what has to happen for progress. But in our human life it looks like racism or the lines between wealth and poverty or even the cafeteria in middle school. Contrast the quality of life between the dog-eat-dog world of lies, betrayal and power struggles and one where humans actually love their neighbor, help the poor and show kindness as Jesus described.

What if the real argument in Darwin vs. creationism has nothing to do with carbon dating, the missing link, or the evidence of design? What if it is much more personal than that?  We are happier in a world where we--like everything else--are made to belong. People with talents and gifts to be shared. People who need to receive love and to give it. People who flourish not at the expense of others but to the benefit of others.

It occurs to me that "survival of the fittest" with humans vying for power over each other will lead to our destruction and not the next step on our evolution. Having the "law of love written on our hearts" is a much more satisfying way to evolve. Darwin recorded the theme of a fallen world. Christ lived the theme of a restored one.

You are more than what you seem...

This post is really just a reminder to you that you are more than...

You are more than the role you play in your family or the job where you work or where you live.

More than the way other people look at you.

More than your favorite color or the movies you like.

More than your financial struggles, relational challenges and conflicts. 

More than your success, regrets or failures.

More than the size jeans you wear.

We all have ways we define ourselves, label ourselves, limit ourselves. And yet, we are so much more than that.

More and more I'm convinced that the key to becoming all we really are is about love. Our ability to both accept and to give the love. Every act of sacrifice, forgiveness, mercy and grace leads us closer to becoming the "more" that we really, truly are.  Everything else is either context or window dressing.

My new favorite music video!

I have no idea how to set up this video for you except to say that it delighted me. A cover of one of my favorite 80's songs + excellent musicians + juxtaposition of styles = FANTASTIC!

Lifestreams

This week, I've been working on an article for CPM on social media. (The research and interviews have been fascinating!) Did you know that if Facebook were a nation, its population would be more than that of the United States." Startling, huh?

One of the things that has surprised me about Facebook is how it facilitates relationships. While I sometimes hear people scorn Facebook saying it is "virtual" and not "real," I have to disagree.  My appreciation of the ability of a "lifestream" to draw people closer actually happened unexpectedly, and it was all because of a sentence Lynette-the-Cowgirl posted:  "Doing laundry."

Now, I know that doing laundry is mundane.  Except that there was a time, when Lynette and I lived close together and I actually knew in real life when she was doing laundry. (Because we were teenagers, and she would get bored and call me.)  I also knew that when we were little kids that I could never knock on her door on a Sunday afternoon because her mom made her nap. And I knew what cabinet the glasses were in. And the name of her dog. Because when you live life with people you know stuff about them.  Even the mundane stuff.

Lynette has now lived in Kerrville for the past 20 years, and though we kept in touch and saw each other at least once a year, we didn't get to see each other in the day-to-day details.  Until she joined Facebook.

My theory is that long before people lived anonymously  in cities they grew up in villages where they knew each other's daily routines.  After all, when you live with someone (or work with them forever) you know their likes and dislikes--the things that make them unique.  I know that John never drinks from a straw. I know that Nancy-the-Insightful moves a ring from her right hand to her left when she is trying to remember something. I know Craig always orders green curry when we call out for Thai.  But I also know that Danielle in Illinois wound up eating way too much frozen soup because of a commitment she made for Lent, that Melissa from 7th grade art class has poured her heart out over the past year in caring for her parents and that my neice has a fantastic sense of humor. Social media has allowed us to create our own villages outside of the limitations of geography.  (My favorite part of it all is that I know the people I work with and people I go to church with in a much fuller context.)

When I first introduced my dad--78--to Facebook his response was "this is the stupidest thing I've ever seen." This initially took me by surprise, until I realized he was thinking of it like a newspaper or a book.  Social media isn't that. It isn't designed to be read cover to cover any more than I would try to live life with Lynette 24 hours a day.  What it does is create "lifestreams"...in status updates, photographs, and messages...so that whenever you decide to spend 10 minutes here or there, it is like walking down to the town square and seeing men playing checkers, or moms sharing photos or pausing to chat with whoever happens to be there.

Community (aka John Wayne vs. the Amish)

Last night, John and I--and other friends from Crosspointe--went to go help our friend, Sheila, move to her apartment and set up her garage sale.  It is an emotional thing because there is a divorce involved, but for all the negative that goes along with that there is this huge positive in the middle of it.  Not just for Sheila, but for all of us. There is something about a community gathering around to do not only the tasks that need to be done, but to go through the transitions in life together that is really powerful.

And so I started thinking about all of the other times our community has come together for the one.  Jody's battle with breast cancer. Elsa's new apartment, Nancy caring for a mom with Alzheimers, Kylie's surprise party so she wouldn't miss Australia, KALEIDE events, celebrating Kim's milestone birthday, baby and wedding showers, and countless times individual financial needs have been quietly met.

I'm not sure why the "going it alone" model of John Wayne got such a following, when the Amish model of barn raising is so much closer to the way we were designed to live. Life is better together. And while movies may glamorize the "lone wolf," the reality is that people who live their lives solo are much more likely to write crazy letters and bomb things.

Heck, we even took technology (something typically cold, hard and metal) and made it social creating cell phones and Facebook and e-Harmony.  In our heart of hearts, we want connection.
Consider the words of King Solomon--who was considered in his day to be the wisest man in the world...

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

The thing about community is it doesn't just happen to you. (Unless you grow up in a small town but that's another matter entirely.)  You can sit on the sidelines, or complain that it isn't quite what you want it to be, or be frozen in fear of rejection.  Or, you can take a risk, actively engage it and join in.

UPDATE:  John thinks I've totally messed up this metaphor and assures me that John Wayne always had a posse and wasn't above taking help. So, maybe I should have used Clint Eastwood, though didn't he have help from a monkey one time?  Chuck Norris? Bruce Lee? Stephen Segal? (The movie Stephen Segal...not the pseudo-reality-show Stephen Segal.)

Bethany's Post

My daughter, Bethany, turned 18 today. Last night we went out and celebrated at her favorite restaurant. Today, she and her cousin and best friend are doing things you have to be 18 to do (register to vote, go to a casino and I believe buy a scratch-off ticket at a convenience store).

Earlier this week we shot her senior pictures.

It is so amazing to see the woman she has grown into.

While I frequently write "people in my story" posts about my friends, I find it hard to do that for my family.  I think because there are so many aspects it seems hard to capture in a few hundred words. Here is my attempt at telling you about Bethany.

If I had a tagline for Bethany it would be Bethany-the-Brave.  She is never slow to fight injustice and doesn't suffer fools well.  If Bethany is presented with a conflict, she engages. And, it is highly unlikely that she cares what you think of her. She has a quick and clever sense of humor. (In many ways she is a lot like John.) 

Bethany is very driven (this is the part where she is like me).  A girl with a plan she is into working hard to get where she wants to go.  Right now that includes taking classes at community college before she goes to University in the fall while working as much as she possibly can as a hostess at a sushi restaurant.

Bethany is a weird mix of girly and tomboy.  For example, she will easily roll out of bed with her hair a mess and no makeup, throw on sweats and head to class, but she also adores high heels, is always changing her hairstyle and enjoys dressing up with enough eyeliner to make her look Asian. She was on the wrestling team in high school. (She recently told the story of having to give a fact about herself in class and said the everyone turned around to see if she could beat them up when she said she was a wrestler. It made her laugh out loud and tell them to turn back around she wasn't a Sumo wrestler.)

Bethany once told me that the one thing she truly wanted was to be successful.  When I asked her what success looked like to her she said to "just marry once and to work at something she enjoyed."

Sounds like a great ambition to me.

Vegetarian 101

Last night, I got to have bubble tea with Holleigh.  Holleigh is a blogger who I met via Kerry who got me into the world of blogging in the first place by talking about Supermom's blog. (Remiss blogger that I am, I totally forgot to snap a photo!)

Holleigh just became a vegetarian two weeks ago and was asking questions.  Given that I've been eating this way for the past twelve to 15 years, I had a LOT of information.

It hit me that others might be wondering how to make the switch so here are a few things to keep in mind...

1.  The hardest part is figuring out what to eat.  Eating and cooking is something we've done daily for forever so making changes takes planning and intention. Focus on eating whole grains, legumes, vegetables and fruit rather than giving up meat.

2. Read labels.  There are animal products in foods you might not be aware of like gelatin (animal skin, ligaments, bones and sinews), glycerin (animal fat), rennet (calf stomach), lecithin (from animal tissues), and pepsin (enzymes gathered from pigs stomachs). If you are making the change for health reasons, then you aren't only reading for meat items (sometimes only listed as "natural flavorings") but you are also looking to eliminate preservatives and dyes.
 
3.  If you give up meat, you also have to give up processed sugar.  This is a macrobiotic principle of balance that I didn't learn initially when I stopped eating meat.  You can still have natural sugars like sucanat, fruit juices, maple syrup, or honey,  but the processed kind will mess you up without the heavy protein to balance out your blood sugar. (Note that vegans don't eat honey because it is an insect product.)

4.  Learn your new sources of protien.  Legume (beans, lentils, peas, soy) + grains (rice, wheat, breads, pasta) make complete proteins. Other sources include nuts and surprisingly spinach and broccoli.

5.  The less processed, the better.  Think of it like this:  an apple is a perfect source of fuel for our body.  Bake it, and it loses some of the enzymes that fuel us, but still tastes great.  Make it into applesauce by adding sugar and sitting it in a jar on a shelf for months and it is a little less great. Artificially make apple flavor and call it Apple Jacks and we've lost the plot.

6.  Expect pushback from friends and family.  We've been taught the four food groups since birth and friends and family will have concerns when you make a change. (And you will be excited about it so you will talk about it way too much...lol)  A couple of things to keep in mind...You don't need meat to have muscle. Elephants have incredible muscle mass and they are vegetarian.  Humans are the only animals that drink milk beyond infancy (and then we drink milk which is designed for baby cows).  Learn to be gracious and take the concerns as caring, but know that in the end you choose what goes into your body.  Also get used to bringing a dish to gatherings so you don't stress the host/hostess.

7.  Take a B12 supplement.   Note that if we lived in a perfect world, breathing pure, clean air and eating food picked daily from nutrient-rich soil we probably wouldn't need to take supplements. B12 is the one that vegetarians get critically low on so it isn't optional. I've found the sublingual ones that dissolve under the tongue to be more effective.  Also consider a good multivitimin with iron and calcium.

8. Pack a snack.  Meals based on plant foods go through your system more quickly than meat-based meals. Packing a morning and afternoon snack will help keep you fueled through the day.  This could be a handful of almonds, a piece of fruit, a cup of soup, crackers and peanut butter (the natural, no sugar variety) or hummus and veggies (celery sticks, carrot chips, bell pepper slices).

9. You don't need your family to make the change, but it helps if they are supportive. As you make changes, the patterns of what you stock in your kitchen will influence your family's diet too. A strategy I wish I'd discovered earlier is leaving a list each week of what is in the pantry/refrigerator that they can grab and eat on their own.  Here are some ideas...

- fresh fruit (Leave a big bowl on the counter of bananas, apples, pears, oranges, whatever is in season).
- smoothie (In a blender mix 1 cup rice/soy milk or juice with 1 cup frozen fruit.  Add 1tsp vanilla if you like).
- hummus and carrot chips
- assemble yourself peanut butter and crackers
- bowl of cereal
- mixed nuts
- celery sticks and peanut butter
- granola (Cheaper if you learn to make it yourself. It isn't hard.)
- pasta salad
- bean dip and corn or pita chips (In a food processor, 1 can beans + 2 T olive oil + seasoning + clove of garlic...this could be cannelini + fresh rosemary, black + cumin or garbanzo + tahini)
- whole grain rolls or muffins
- baked potato (microwave for 4 - 7 minutes, coach your family to pierce with a fork so it doesn't explode)
- vegetarian ramen (will have to get at Whole Foods or other health food store)
- if going the lacto/ovo route, then grilled cheese, scrambled eggs, string cheese, and ice cream can also be included.

10.  Learn how to eat at restaurants.  Asian (except for Chinese buffets), Italian and Indian restaurants will be the easiest when you first begin. Here are ideas on how to navigate others:

- Steak Houses - usually have a menu of sides with grilled or steamed vegetables and salads
- Mexican - try guacamole, veggie fajitas, spinach enchiladas (if avoiding dairy ask if they can give you a green sauce and leave off the cheese).  It is doubtful that the beans will be vegetarian, so ask.
- Sandwich Shops - WhichWich has the best variety.  Subway, Jimmy Johns, Firehouse and others are rough if unless you eat dairy.
- BBQ.  - Get a baked potato and top with catsup and/or hot sauce. Load up on pickles and peppers.
- Greek. Go with the falafel. Mmmm... Tabouli, Hummus or Baba Ganoush with pita also good.
- Delis.  Most have salads of some sort.  Ask about the soups as most will be made with a meat stock, but if they have a wide variety there is almost always a vegetarian option.
- Fast food.  By far, this is the hardest, but if you absolutely can't avoid it...  Burger King has a veggie burger and Taco Bueno has a black bean vegetarian burrito if dairy is okay for you. Wendy's has baked potatoes and salads. Chipotle has great vegetarian options, and you can order vegetable pizza with or without cheese.

11.  It will take a few months to find equalibrium.  As you make these changes expect your body to protest a little.  This may include headaches, fatigue, skin breakouts and digestive issues. Additives, sugars and other processed foods can be addictive and there will be withdrawal.  As you improve the quality of your food, your body will start to embrace it and you will find that your tastes and cravings change for the better.  Best of all, you are giving your cells better building materials which means a healthier you for the rest of your life.

Nicknames you MIGHT have for a dog named Toby

1. Tobylicious

2. Grass-is-Always-Greener-Toby (always wants to be where he is not.)

3.  Toby-Toes

4. Tobiferous-Toes (if we are really silly)

5. Toblerone

6. Tobi-wan-kenobi

7. And my absolute favorite...

wait for it....

The Tobiashi Maru

Cultivating Peace

I've recently been asking God about peace.  More specifically, I curious why since Jesus is the "Prince of Peace" that Christians have so little of it. Just like the rest of the world, we are all consumed by schedules, deadlines, traffic... (need I go on?)

It occurs to me that cultivating peace takes a belief that it is a desirable quality of life.  And that it is actually about more than "zen" candles.

There seem to be some commonalities in those few people I know who  simply exude peace.  Based on those observations, it would seem that to cultivate peace we can begin with the following...

Keep short accounts. We have human emotional accounts.  Every broken relationship...hurt...insult...times we were taken advantage of...they drain our emotional accounts.   We can ignore our low balances or we can deal with things as they happen.  This is often about going to the person who wronged us to settle the debt or (especially if it is in the person's character to do those things) writing it off. Not "forgive and forget" but "forgive and release the debt."  Take it off the balance sheet.  (Many times in order to keep short accounts we have to stop doing emotional business with those who continually bankrupt us.)

Travel light.  We all have baggage.  This may be things we've done (regrets), things done to us (abuse), or things we are afraid will happen (fear). It takes a lot of work to actually look at that stuff and deal with it so we can release it.  Again, this would seem to be an exercise in forgiveness (for others or for ourselves) or an exercise in courage (not allowing ourselves to carry the worry that our past might define our future) and may take therapy, good counsel, and a lot of prayer to be able to get to the place where we can set that load down.

"Pick up your map. Lay down your gavel."  That's a line from a Dirt Poor Robins song.  I can think of nothing more illustrative than the juxtaposition of sitting down behind a bench on high and putting on hiking boots to go somewhere.  There is much more peace walking a trail than sitting in a courtroom.  Judging is heavy work, so why spend mental or verbal conversation on the trying and convicting people outside of ourselves. (Most of the time, it doesn't affect them anyway.)

Make time for silence.  Silence is key in making room to deal with the items above. (Otherwise how could we even notice we have long accounts or are carrying baggage while busy running from place to place.)  Turning off the television and taking time to simply "be" can prove a powerful practice for cultivating peace.

Set the stage.  Soft music, smelling lavender, sounds of a fountain, having plants around and....yes, even "zen" scented candles can cue peace.  What our eyes see and our body experiences influences the mind and spirit.  While setting the stage won't bring about peace on its own it occurs to me it can play a role in shaping a life characterized by peace.

With all of that said, I wish us all...peace!

Playing Possum

I always remember that whenever my sister and I were pretending to be asleep (like if we didn't want to get up and do chores on a Saturday AM) that my parents called it "playing possum." However, last night around midnight, I got to see it for real.   John woke me up to look in the backyard and sure enough there was a HUGE possum with tongue lolling out looking for all the world that it was dead.

Our guess is that we let the dogs out while he was there and he just rolled over to be sniffed at a bit.  John touched it with his toe and it flinched--which gave away the game. It layed that way for a very long time (we watched through the window until I was too sleepy to stay).

This morning, it was gone.  Escaping safely under the fence.  In case you are wondering what it looked like, it is pretty much like this photo from http://www.bbwildliferemoval.com/images/opossum2.jpg  Though my guess is the one we saw was about twice that size.

(Yes, I know the correct spelling is opossum, but the first letter just seems superfluous since you never say it in pronunciation here in Texas.)

OMG...we had the BEST time!

ArtLoveMagic's "?" event started with an e-mail.  "Meet at Malcom X and Taylor. Look for the man with the yellow umbrella."

As it turned out, the man with the yellow umbrella was on the side of "Life in Deep Ellum."  My friend, Melissa--the only one brave enough to come with me--and I parked the car and went to stand in the parking lot to wait to see what was going on. 

The crowd itself was pretty interesting.  After all, how often do you see a guardian angel talking with a woman holding an accordian?

At first we just stood around.  (David Rodriguez was nice enough to snap a picture of me and Melissa in case I decided to blog about this later.  Like THAT was ever in question.)

Fortunately, there were some people we knew.  People we had met through other ArtLoveMagic events...including Rina...who is REALLY glad I didn't post the photo of her with the cone on her head whether she knows it or not.

There was a guy in the crowd talking about pirates vs. ninjas.  Now, I have to admit, I never knew this was a controversy, but as it turns out, there is a t-shirt for it (available at thepirateslife.com).  Thing is that the controversy--though funny--started to get loud.  When finally Justin said...WAIT, WAIT,WAIT...let's settle this.  Pirates on one side.  Ninjas on the other.

(Do you even have to ask?  Of COURSE, I was a ninja!)

Justin led the ninjas to a secret stash of childhood weaponry.  Foam swords, waterguns, nerf slingshots, silly string.  We led an all-out assault on the pirates (who turned out to be similarly armed).  Just when the fighting was at it's height, we were invited by the carnies (yes...there were carnies) to throw down our arms, band together and join the circus.  Which we did.

Jugglers, dancers and a mime (unsure of the plural of mime) handed out juggling materials, hulahoops and ribbon sticks.  And we played.  It was fun.

(I think there may be photographic evidence on someone's Facebook site that I can keep a hula hoop going.)

Part of the magic was simply the element of surprise which created wonder as things kept unfolding.  An unfold they did.  The pirates were declared the winners and we were treated to the sounds of the Pirate Tramp band. (I think this was the name.)

We enjoyed a few songs (Justin handed out instruments so we could play along) then like the pied piper we marched through the streets of Deep Ellum eventually winding up at the Dallas Comedy House...which was FANTASTIC.  Great food, great show...and Justin brought chemlight bracelets.

We were even escorted back to our car by Rafael, the Guardian Angel who I had the BEST conversation with.  He is a way interesting guy!

If you were afraid to gamble on the event, you know by now you missed out.  The good news is that ArtLoveMagic just might do this again.

If you get the chance, jump on it!