Changes in Plans

Last week, the plan was that Chase would finish his work at the camp, pack up his car and go to Seminary in Kentucky.  In fact, he was supposed to go this week to check out a place to live.

It was a bit of a challenge in that classes start before his job at the camp as a counselor ends.  Then other challenges popped up...like cost prohibitive flights to get there this week to arrange a place to live, finding the majority of his credits wouldn't transfer and getting sick making it difficult to do the 30 hour drive required to get to Kentucky and back and still make his friend's wedding.

Sometimes when a path gets blocked from multiple angles, it is a good idea to observe and consider why.

Bethy has been finding her own road blocks too.  She forgot to send a deposit with the dorm registration, ran into a ton of bureacracy when she went up to check the campus out at Spring break, and has really been bummed that her only choices of dorms now in the process are the low end ones.

So, last night when Chase told me he had made the decision to finish his undergrad in Denton before going to seminary and that he and Bethy are getting an apartment together it was a surprise, but somehow seems like exactly the right thing to do. 

John and Troy are close because a lot of their life they've lived together.  Same friends. Time spent as roommates.  Working together.  Shared experiences make for deep relationships.  That is especially true when you are family.  I am excited that Beth and Chase are going to be given that gift.

When we talked about it, I told Chase I wasn't sure why but that it felt right.  He said, "To me too."

Real love...

I think we forget what it means to be loved.

We forget that God loves us for who we are, not who we think we should be.

And it is easy to forget, because the models in the world we live in are of conditional acceptance.  If we perform perfectly, if we are beautiful, if we are do all the right stuff...  God's model isn't that.  It is the beauty of a father holding a newborn son. Of those first few days of falling in love when the power of love blinds to any imperfection.  The kind of love that is gut-wrenchingly real. Life and death sort of love where you are hanging by a thread and the one who loves you would risk everything to have you.

It is what we most long for, to be loved like that...yet we are so busy trying to earn it that we miss the gift.

The beauty of "while we were yet sinners Christ died for us" is that our sin...all the ways we aren't like God...didn't keep Him from loving us. He wants us.  The real us.  Not the carefully crafted persona of someone we think He might like, but us.

Secretly just me

With my iPod on shuffle yesterday, I came across a line in a song from Over the Rhine that said, "more and more I'm secretly just me." That line along with thoughts inspired by the book I just finished--No Mercy--have been winding through my mind in a thread.

It occurs to me that in our search for significance, we take on more and more that is not ourselves. Mindy Cagulire of Soulcare said once that the opposite of simplicity isn't complexity, it is duplicity, and that we need to embrace where we end and where God and others begin. The thing about that is that all of our shoulds, ought to's, musts and add ons are frequently in our own self-interest.

David-the-Artist pastor spoke yesterday about his roles...as a father, son, husband...pastor, writer, teacher, artist.  He said most of the roles were functional, and that there would always be better writers, pastors, teachers, and artists than himself. But that the relational roles...father, son, husband...were the ones that only he could fill.

Our hearts--that part of us at the core of our being--is where all the important work happens. And the things that breathe life into it or lock it down are almost always related to relationship and not function. When we focus on the relational, it frees us to "secretly be ourselves" allowing the functional roles (writing, teaching, art...whatever your own personal variation is) to flow.

It isn't that we don't want to get better on the functional, but I'm becoming certain that we aren't supposed to put the focus there. The functional roles are about significance. The relational roles are about love.  We are only commanded to do one of those.

No Mercy

I just finished reading Pres Gillham's book, No Mercy, and all I can say is "wow."

I thought Pres' Grace in Ungracious Places was really good, so I couldn't wait to read this one. I loved the first chapter and was really getting into the whole fishing, brothers and llamas thing when the book hung a serious left and went all Pilgrims Progress on me.  (At which point, I thought...oh no, an allegory...) But I kept reading and once the initial story was set I was hooked.

The major theme of the narrative is about love...not the ability to give love but the ability to receive it.  I'm not sure I've ever read that story before.

The insights were powerful. And in fact, I don't want to overdescribe them because I'm afraid it might spoil the experience of reading the book. I will say that I've lived the meeting about the serifs and the sans serifs...but I never looked at it in the way that Pres powerfully depicted it.

The thing about allegory is that it isn't explicit.  The reader connects and gets what they need--with each person finding something different.

Buy and read this book.

While in Omaha...

Omaha has slides sized for grown ups.

I was in Omaha this week in meetings for my day job.  If you've never been to Omaha, you may not know that it is a very beautiful art town with sculptures, handcrafted benches and an annual art show.  It is also an incredible place to simply walk...AND it has slides sized for grown ups!!!

This was my first trip to Omaha, so I wasn't sure what to expect.  It is now among my "places I would enjoy living" along with DesMoines, Seattle, Portland, Dallas and Fort Worth.

The architectural firm who hosted us arranged for us to spend Thursday evening at Hot Shops--a community of over 70 artists. Hot Shops is an experiment in a commercially viable group of artists that has been amazingly successful.

Ed Fennell of Crystal Forge

 

The potter spoke with us about the mentoring and inspiration that happens when artists are living in community. Hot Shops are in a building in the downtown area where every studio is rented with a waiting list to get in. It creates a "go to" venue not only for patrons, but also for architects and developers who integrate art into their projects.

We saw demonstrations in blacksmithing, glass blowing and throwing pots. It was both interesting and inspiring to hear the artists speak about hand crafted door handles for worship projects, hand blown light fixtures and custom crafted tiles with artwork for hospitals and corporate buildings.

Many of us stayed after dinner to engage with the artists to learn about their craft. We even had the opportunity to work with the potters wheel, smith or blow glass.  As we returned to the hotel, I stood in the lobby of the hotel talking with several architects.  The energy sparked by discussing the magic of going from molten glass to finished product was tangible.

I continue to be amazed in meeting people who have deeply connected with the creative side of their nature.  I believe if we are all made in the image of God and God is Creator, then each of us have that ability to create--even if it isn't in something universally acknowledged as art. At dinner one evening, I heard an artist from Des Moines speak about how many people who don't consider themselves creative, are actually wildly creative when it comes to cooking and food. Then someone at the table asked about our best meal ever.

If you are ever in a conversation at dinner with people you only partially know, you should pull this out of your pocket as a conversation starter.  People can get very passionate about food!

It was a fantastic week away, but I am really looking forward to time at home with family and friends. Now that my early morning blog post is done and the sugar gliders are getting sleepy I'm going to go back to bed and cuddle with my husband.  Signing off...

Random Updates

Saturday, John and I drove to Fort Worth to take Dad to lunch for Father's Day.  Olive Garden's soup, salad and breadsticks was what dad decided on and we ordered appetizers to make it a little more Fathers Day special.

We also made a trip to Petsmart to buy a mirror.  Dad has a beautiful white parakeet now.  The best part is that it found him.  It was flying around outside and landed at his feet.  He reached down with a finger and the bird jumped on it.  Now, Snow White lives safely indoors with plenty of seed and water.

Sunday morning John and I took Bethany to breakfast so we could see her before she left for Cancun with her best friend, Elisa.  (I cannot tell you how pleased I am that Elisa's mom went with them!) 

It was fun driving them to the airport to experience the "off on an adventure" joy.  Bethany is thrilled that her passport will finally have a stamp in it.

This morning is a Bic's morning with Nancy...so I am typing quickly.  Not only that, but the gliders hanging out on my robe keep nipping at me to finish and take them back to their pouch.  Actually, this is John's robe, but we laugh that wearing it just makes us a big, gray sugar glider since Kayla and Kazoo seem to like it so much.  I often have one or two of them on my shoulder while blogging early morning.

Off to start my day.

Theatre 166

For the past four years, Crosspointe has had a dream to have a space they could share with the community.

Two weeks ago we opened Theatre 166.  The idea is that there are 168 hours in a week and we use the space for two of those hours leaving the other 166 for artists, musicians and other performance-based events.

To the left is the lobby complete with original works by Jody Neice (and amazing Ugandan fair-trade coffee).

The gallery space currently has a showing of photographs of participants in the Ugandan Children's project.  The images are by photographers Bill Bollin and David Wahlstedt.

(I wish you could see the piece hanging behind me on the wall that Lisa Bollin painted.  It is all white and is perfectly incredible.)

There are two small children's venues but the main space is what I love. 

It is pretty incredible when you have theatre designers volunteer their time for free. The acoustics, audio, video, lighting and stage design in the black box theatre are fantastic.  Not only that, but the risers, can actually be configured to create a lifted stage with the audience seated on the floor.

The flexible space was designed to support a wide variety of performance types, but especially amplified music.

I love it when things you dream of become reality.

Good Advice

The teachers at Bethany's school put together a video that they showed at graduation with each of them giving advice for life. One of them was simple, but great.  Mostly because at 44, I have found this to be true.

"What people want most out of life is love and happiness, so it is important to remember that love is a decision--a decision to put someone else ahead of yourself.  Happiness is also a decision--a decision to live in gratitude."

Wise advice whether 18 or 108.  (Though I'm pretty sure you don't get to be 108 unless you live this.)

Rediscovering bento

I first discovered bento lunches through Biggie's LunchinaBox.net.  While I love bento lunches, I don't have a lot of ideas on what to do with them. (Even though I bought the Vegan Lunchbox Cookbook which had fantastic ideas, the ideas never made the leap from book to box with me.)

So, I went searching in Biggie's blog for someone in Dallas and found Shannon's bentolunch.blogspot.com.

Reinspired I packed vegetarian fried rice, a salad, edamame, grapes and two baby carrot sticks.  >

Now, if I can just convince Shannon--possibly by blogging about her...I'm not above that--into teaching a class on "grown up" bento lunches.  I'll be set.

What I did on my day of vacation...

Ever get to a place where you are still smiling, but feel like you are hanging on by your fingertips?

(Why yes, I did craft that first sentence just to fit with the picture...)

I'm there.  I'm out of juice. Things take 5x longer than they should because I'm just not "on."  I'm tired. Not lack of sleep tired, lack of energy tired. Fending off migraines and seeing spots tired.

So, I took a day off  to recharge. A whole day of little stupid fun stuff.  Here's what I did:

1. I made fresh carrot juice.
2. I blogged.
3. I discovered a fantastic new bakery.  (Mozart on Old Denton near Super H Mart. )
4. I read through all my "Crayon Devotions" for the year and entered two more.

5. I started Pres Gillham's new book, No Mercy.
6. I bought a birdhouse and primed it. (Also bought a big letter H and painted it.)
8. Ate sushi.
9. I sketched the painting I'm going to do to replace the dreadful one I did in an hour that is now hanging at Crosspointe.
10. I picked up the plates for my new car.
11. I bought a new mailbox.  (John installed it.) And I bought a corner rounder and stamp scrubbie like Debra Kolce used at the last workshop.
12. I registered Nancy and I for the Yoga Nidra workshop.
13. Had bubble tea.
14. Assembled a small package for Chase to send with his mail.
15. Shaved the dog. (Lucky has thick black fur and is miserable in the summer. She smiled when I finally finished. Is really cute when she does that.)
16. Went to the ArtLoveMagic board meeting. (After a shower because I was a sweaty gross black fur covered mess.)
17. Had vegan food at Cosmic Cafe and read more on No Mercy.
18. Bought cookie cutters so I could make a fun bento lunch tonight.
19. Made bento.
20. Blogged again so I wouldn't forget when I wake up tomorrow and face two days worth of work to finish by 5pm that I killed some of the pirhanna's that were bugging me and did fun stuff like paint, write and eat foods I love.

Update: John's comment..."THAT was your rest day? I don't want to do that many things on a busy day."

The Family Connection

One of the things I love about John's family that I don't remember having with my family growing up is a strong sense of family culture.  There is a whole list of things (some of them silly) that make you part of the family:

1) It is absolutely essential that you drink copious amounts of coffee or tea.

2) Honesty and integrity are strong in your personal code of ethics daily.

3) You must never drink through a straw.

4) Music is important to life.

5) You must be skilled at playing 42.  Not just any 42, but as John's cousin, Gary, calls it "life or death, steel cage match, winner-take-all, battle to the death, 42."

We have passed these things on to our kids (though with our love of bubble tea Bethany and I skate on the straw thing..).  Having a culture that is unique to your family creates connection.  It makes people feel like they belong.  And they do....unless they make you lose a hand in a failed attempt at "double blind nello."

Actual Face Reunion...part deux

I've written before about my high school friends.  While most people bond with the people of their alma mater, my closest friends were my church youth group.  Every day I would go to classes and do what I needed to do, then run home to get on the phone to call Lynette or Laura or one of the 30 other people I spent every single one of my free minutes with.

A few years ago, we all reconnected on Facebook...and every once in awhile we do an "Actual Face Reunion."  I have to confess this year I was a little nervous about it.  After all, Julie Gray flew in from Missouri and I had a ton of last minute cancellations. But sometimes just the right people wind up in the right place.

Bess Ann, Susan and Julie all went to Southwest High School together.  Bess Ann is fun and all kinds of cool.  (Like motorcycle and tattoo cool.)  Susan still has a sweet spirit (just found out a few weeks ago she lives only a few blocks from me) and Julie is absolutely vibrant--like maybe she has some secret job as a superhero that she can't reveal to any of us or we would all be in danger. Julie told me a great story about getting to go to the "guys lunch" with Mickey and Clifford and that Mickey never let anyone do dishes on a Sunday.

LP and Bess Ann both have adventurous husbands so they spend their time cycling, hiking and doing other things that can make you bleed.  In fact, I have a great shot of Bess Ann and LP comparing injuries, but it isn't as cute as this one, so cuteness stands.

We played "Mafia"--a game the RDFL crowd taught us--but there was too much to talk about so we only went one round.

One of the things about growing up in a group is that "the village" raises you.  Not only did we catch up on news about each other but also brothers, sisters and parents. In fact, when Trey White walked in, Julie said, "Judge White!"  (Yes, we are actually now the age our parents were when we all used to hang out together.)  Needless to say "Judge White was Trey's dad and in looking at Julie's photo albums it was a weird sort of deja vu experience.

Because we went to a Baptist church near the seminary, many of our friends were only here for a few years as their fathers completed degrees and went onto ministry positions in other cities.  Not only was Julie one of those, but also Paul Ward--who left my freshman year.  However, Paul and I reconnected at Dallas Baptist University--where he and John were actually friends.  I'm always blown away by Paul's faith.  You always know he has it. Not in a loud and showy way, but in deep and solid waves that just sort of walk around with him.

Lisa is just awesome. In high school she was a practical sort of cool...like someone who had seen a lot of life and could quickly separate out the BS from the good stuff--and she only had tolerance for the "good stuff."   Here we were asking her about her braceletes.  They were a great style.  They had writing and there were tons of them in polished black and gray.   Lisa and her husband Mike are Mona Vie consultants.  We teased Mike a little bit about his Mona Vie t-shirt. Of course, now that I've just typed that you know that you can comment below and I will send you Mike's contact info so he can hook you up.

Probably the best part of the evening for me was that intangible of feeling part of something wonderful.  While all of these people have roles they play as, dads/moms and professionals, the more important thing is that every single one of them are doing good things in the world.  They volunteer at their churches, work in professions that help people, and are committed to their families.  They are the kind of people you'd build a town of if you could.

And in fact we did.  It just happened to have a steeple on it.  (And really, really geeky graphics.  Julie saved one and brought it as evidence.)

Making Beautiful things with Friends

Last night Debra Kolce--one of the artists in the Until October ATC group--taught a class at the Stamp Asylum making bookmarks from paint chip samples.

Debra's primary art is that she makes incredible handmade cards.  The color, texture, whimsy and dimension are incredible.  Deb uses a variety of tools to embellish.  Simple things that really make a difference. 

For example, last night she used a simple punch to take rectangular pieces and round the corners.  Amazing how polished--and intentional it looks than the hard edge.

Sylvia Moore--another artist friend who teaches classes was also there after almost a month of being out of commission with pneumonia.  Sylvia's energy is so core to who she is that I can't imagine that she has had to press the pause button on her life for a whole month!  She is the personification of joie de vivir!

I first met Sylvia when she taught a creativity class at Stamp Asylum.  I've told over and over how the next morning after the class I awoke with solutions to three logistics problems I was having at work.  Apparently letting the right side of your brain play can help with left-brained challenges.

 I was really glad I got to sit across from her.

Rina Provost-Smith--also from the ATC (artist trading card) group--got to come for the first time.  I love Rina's beautiful spirit. As we were sitting around the table working on our individual projects, Rina commented how fun this was and how it was an opportunity often lost in our current society.  She mentioned that there was a time when people embellished everything by hand to bring beauty.  Embroidery, carving, toll painting....and often these were done by women in groups.

Another woman--Jane--came late to the class.  I sat near Jane a few years ago and felt instant connection.  It was amazingly cool to see her again last night.

Afterward, we all spent time going through the clearance stamps in the bin. (I must confess, I love the shopping part because there is a discount after the class and I am adding to my Copic Marker collection!)  Not only that but I found two really fun stamps in the bin that I got for a shockingly low price.

There really is magic to making beautiful things with friends.

Noise to Love Ratio

As per the previous post, I've been thinking about speakers a lot lately...more specifically preachers.  As someone who grew up with a lot of religious education I've logged a shocking amount of hours listening to pastors, bible studies, women's events and homegroups.

And I find myself curious why some have connected with me deeply.  Changed my life even.  And others make me want to put a spoon through my head.

I actually don't think it is about skill. While a skilled speaker can generally hold my attention, it doesn't always move or stay with me. I'm also pretty sure it doesn't come down to whether or not I agree with the ideas.

This morning it hit me that the differentiating factor is possibly about love.  When the person speaking loves the audience, it comes through. Performers instinctively know this.  Stage actors love the audience...and they connect. A person who loves their small group can ramble with no skill trying to express something from the heart and it can touch me deeply.  Contrast that with someone who takes a long time talking in order to boost their own position and ego.

The Apostle Paul wrote, "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal."


I was taught as a little girl that if I didn't get something out of a sermon there was probably something wrong with my heart or relationship with God.  Now I think I just have a low tolerance for noise.

Avoid the Top 5 Mistakes Made by Graduation Speakers

After attending 3 graduations over the past week, I've observed some common mistakes that valedictorians, saluditorians--and even the featured speakers--make at graduations.  Here is how to avoid them:

1.  Have a strong intro.  You have 30 seconds for the audience to determine if you are worth listening to. Don't start by naming all the types of people in the room. We know who attends graduations.  Also, don't start with your own credentials.  Your first two sentences count.  Make them great.

2.  Don't try to build 'street cred.'  Fake self-depracating comments, telling the audience you will 'keep this short,'  using language you don't normally use in an attempt to relate should be avoided at all cost.  Every phrase, word and gesture needs to relate to the point you are trying to make.

3. Don't tell a joke.  Stand up comedy is 40% practice and 60% natural talent.   If you don't do stand up for a living, this is a really bad time to start.

4.  Use your own material.  Dr. Seuss, the "dash" between the dates on the headstone, footsteps in the sand....has all been done before.  Be real.  Be personal. Share what actually matters to you, not something crafted to make you seem sharp or clever.  One of the best speakers I heard this week was a valedictorian who talked about love.  I also heard some things I've heard before...like 'I hope you dance' but it was told by people for whom it was personal so the delivery was genuine instead of cliche.

5. Have a single point and get to it. Graduations are long by nature and unless you are extremely clear and make your point, your audience will begin checking their text messages, mentally crafting their grocery list, counting the tiles in the ceiling, or (in John's and my case) exploring new apps for our iPhones. A long rambly speech poorly delivered will only be remembered as such. Better to be short and have something worth saying.

If you have to give a presentation, I highly recommend Even a Geek Can Speak by Joey Asher.  Asher shares a simple way of thinking about presentations that is easy to remember and more importantly is easy to put into practice.  Even if you just read the first chapter, it will dramatically improve your ability to present.  (I know this from personal experience.  It has changed not only the way I present but also the way I collaborate with my team in developing presentations.) 

This year's graduation season may be coming to a close, but there is always next year.   (Please, please, please share this post!)

Bethany's Graduation

Last night Bethany graduated from iSchool High. Actually--and Bethany would totally want me to clarify--she graduated in December, but last night was the ceremony where she walked.

I loved it that so much of our family was able to come. My mom and dad; John's mom (Samantha); my sister, brother-in-law and Elissa; Rhonda, Troy and all four of the nieces. Chase even got to drive in from Sky Ranch.

It was an evening of celebrating our daughter--who we are very proud of.   And while the people with the long drives had to leave after the ceremony, the rest of us went to dinner and wound up laughing and swapping stories....teasing the nieces about their boyfriends (past and present)...laughing at Chase's lack of an iPhone (not working for AT&T anymore has drawbacks) and just generally appreciating the joy of family.

Bethany, you are a most wonderful part of us.  We love you deeply.

Aromatherapy

Aromatic oils have been used for centuries.  If you haven't had the opportunity yet to dabble in aromatherapy, here are the basics to get you started.

Essential oils are readily available at most health stores or via the Internet at pharmaceutical grade quality.  They are extracted from flowers, fruits, leaves, resins and barks and are completely natural.  Essential oils are very potent and typically need to be placed in a "carrier" to dilute them before using.

This could be a carrier oil such as almond, jojoba, grapeseed, olive or coconut.  Or an unscented shampoo or soap.  You can even use it straight in baking soda and other powders. You can mix with water and use in a spritzer if you have an emulsifier like alcohol. (Vodka works well because it doesn't have much of a scent). 3 drops of essential oil to 1 oz of carrier is a good rule of thumb.  Essential oils can also be mixed into Epsom salts to create scented bath salts.

The cost of essential oils is directly linked to how difficult they are to obtain.  For example, rose oil takes a lot of roses to produce and could be over $50 a bottle.  Lavender is much less expensive and is typically less than $10 a bottle.  Some oils are so expensive that if you find them in your healthfood store, they may already be in a carrier oil.  (Jasmine and neroli often come this way).

While the oils all have different properties, affinities for different scents is highly personal.  Consider selecting four or five to begin with to see how they make you feel.  To begin your collection, you might want to select a floral oil such as lavender, geranium, neroli, rose, or jasmine.  A "woody" oil like rosewood, cedar, sandalwood, cypress or fir.  Something herbal like bay, rosemary, thyme, basil, peppermint or oregano. Something citrus like lemon, lime, bergamot, grapefruit or tangerine. And something exotic like frankincense, patchouli, eucalyptus or myrrh.

In addition to using in oils, soaps and spritz bottles, you can also put oils straight into a diffuser to scent a room. Diffusers are typically easy to come by.  There are simple ones with a tea light that warms a glass dish where you put in water then a few drops of your oil.  You can also just fill a basin with hot water and put a few drops into steam or put a few drops into laundry, on your pillow, into a bath or on a cotton ball in a closet or drawer.

Essential oils can be used to lift mood, relieve stress, balance energy or simply because you like the way they smell. Best of all, they allow you to craft your own scents at a fraction of high end soaps, sachets, room sprays and perfumes...and they are 100% natural.