Proximity

I'm curious why Jesus uses the term neighbor so often.  Why love your 'neighbor' as yourself?  In reality, I don't even know my neighbors.  Oh, I smile and wave, but to be honest, I can't remember their names. (And I've lived here for 5 years.)

Why does the 10th commandment talk about not coveting your 'neighbor's' stuff?  Why does so much of the Jewish law have to do with interactions between 'neighbors.' Why does James say, "who are you to judge your neighbor?"

If the choice of word is deliberate, then there must be something important about proximity.  And while it would seem we have a responsibility to share resources with those who do not have them on a global scale, it would appear that God is much more concerned with the interactions that occur on a closer level.  The people we live life with, work with, share a home with...

Maybe it is no small coincidence that it is actually easier to love people you don't really know.  Giving shoes to children in Uganda or helping at a homeless shelter is far easier than our dealings with our spouses, in-laws and co-workers.  After all, I really can't see myself saying something snotty to an orphan in Guatamala....but I've definitely done that to John.

If you think about it...we often fall in love with people we don't really know...romances, friendships, even causes and ideas. Staying 'in love.'  Now, that takes practice.  And it would seem, that is the part that God really, really cares about.

Chiles!!

Since John is from New Mexico and I'm a Texas girl, we like our food a bit on the spicy side.  Hatch Chiles (from Hatch, NM) are available a few weeks every year, and when they are, we order a case--roasted--and freeze them to last the year. 

If you've ever had fresh Hatch chiles roasted, you know there is no comparison with the canned version.

In our area, you can get the chiles at stores like Central Market, Sprouts and Whole Foods where they roast them in big hoppers out in the parking lot.  You can purchase small containers, or like us--a whole bushel.  They hold up nicely frozen...though you can plan on your icemaker picking up a "chile" taste for a few weeks.

Today at RDFL, we are serving up green burritos for our friends...from John's mom's recipe.  

What we did with Bethany's room...

Almost exactly a year ago, during my "week as" vacation, Bethany  invited me to decorate her room so I could live my "week as a designer."  (Low risk for Bethany since she knew she would be moving out in a year.)

Two weeks ago, she moved to her apartment near college.  Her new room transported with her leaving us with a blank slate.

Hmmm....what to do...

The primary goal was that the space still needed to function as a guest room so that each of the kids would have a place to sleep during holidays. But as you saw in an earlier post this week, we already have a guest room, so we had opportunity to make it more than a bedroom. I was hoping for a place that I could go through my morning yoga routine with the door closed to keep our four legged family members out.  (The dogs think it is play time if I am in the floor, and they look so hurt when I tell them to go away.)  And we also had the chance to remove a function from John's office--which is also the library and TV room.

So...I introduce "Rocking Horse" Zen. 

Bethany's daybed--which had previously been living in the attic--was a perfect solution for both sleeping and seating.  It has a trundle to create more sleeping space. (Which will be perfect when I invite my girlfriends out for BFF weekend next May.) We picked up a new mattress from Sam's and Overstock.com had a great deal on the linens. (I agonized over cream vs. red...so glad now I went red.)

Also in the attic was the beautiful rocking horse my in-laws made for the kids. We put it away when Chase, then Bethany stopped riding it. It was really exciting to polish it up and have be in our home again.

Until this house, we've always had some sort of library--usually John's office and occasionally the living room or our bedroom.  We greatly downsized our collection--with John letting go some 600 paperbacks--when we added a loveseat to his office. The room creates a new home for the remaining books and makes a great place to slip away just for reading.

Best of all, with the minimal furniture, removal of the carpet in favor of new vinyl and open floor space, the room is perfect for yoga. 

I left the wall by the door blank for my favorite "legs-up-the-wall-pose" (if you don't do yoga you can stop laughing now) and now that the closet no longer houses hundreds of shoes and piles of laundry it is a great place to stash all the yoga gear in one spot.

When Bethany saw the room she said she liked it, then..."wow, the horse looks really little."  Last time she saw "Kowah" the horse was just below her shoulders.

I love my "Rocking Horse Zen" room.  Now, I think I'm going to go make use of that wall...

How's that theme for the year coming?

Most of the time, I'm a 'big picture' sort of person, but this year, my focus has been on the micro. 

Part of this is Kimberly-the-Behavior-Therapist's fault.  She had me participate in her research project which looked at life in 30 minute increments.  My big epiphany was that if you start logging what you do every 30 minutes of every day, you find that most every day is exactly the same.  It doesn't feel the same because the conversations are so different, but the type of activities that you engage in on a daily basis are actually shockingly homogenous. 

Most of us drive to work at the same time each day.  Answer e-mail at the same time.  Eat at the same times (and often the same types of food).  Brush our teeth at the same times.  Watch TV...yada, yada.

Kimberly's point with the project is that if we really want to experience change in our life, it starts with changing what we do with the 30 minute blocks.

In January, I never make resolutions.  Instead I pick a theme for the year.  This year, the theme is "daily."  When I chose that, I assumed I would make some changes that would influence the rest of the year.  But what I've found is that I'm in an endless loop of trying things and haven't found something that clicks. (Yeah, I'm hyper-aware that it is August.)

Part of the change I want to affect is about the physical...juicing, working out, etc.  Part is personal goals...writing, painting, staying connected with friends and family.  And part is spiritual....spending time in contemplative prayer, gratitude, etc.

This year, for my "week as" vacation, I'm living my life as a yogi.  Hours of practice each day, raw vegan foods, time spent in contemplative prayer.  My hope is that I'll come away with my daily practices in place. The ones that carry through way beyond the week and well throughout the years...

A fantastic find...

Ever since Chase took his filing cabinet which we were using as a make-shift night stand in our guest room, I've been looking for a small table to go by the bed for the lamp.  The room is only 11x11, so the table had to be small, and I didn't want to spend a lot of money for it.

The other day at Ross--while looking for a basket for our newly renovated reading room--I found this great little table that just happened to be a perfect match.

Not only did it have a black toile lining on the basket drawer, but it also had a panel on top of the table.

I dropped a pad/pen and small Bible in the drawer...just like in a real B&B.

When Bethany first moved into Chase's old room and we converted hers, I never dreamed we'd have so much use for a guest room.  But as it is, we've had a lot of fun providing a place to crash for our friends. 

The best part about a guest room?  It is almost always clean.  No clothes on the floor.  No toys strewn about.  And the bed is always made. (Which I definitely can't say about my own room!)  

This happens all the time....

Click to enlarge

Chase's Tattoo

One of the best things about the digital world is the real-time connection aspect.

Chase called me to talk about his tattoo an hour before he got it, and while at dinner, this picture came across on my iPhone.

He's been researching the design he wanted for several years.  Found this one online and finally decided to just do it.

As a mom, it is interesting to me to see what he chose. (And it may be very un-mom to admit this, but I think it is really, really cool.)

Guest post | Tim Hill | Awareness

I really liked this post by Tim Hill.... so I'm reprinting here....of course, he didn't have the girly lotus image.  That's just one I had on my computer as a background...

Over the past several weeks, I have been participating in the Transformational Trek Tribe led by Ron Martoia. It has been a unique and challenging spiritual formation experience primarily because it does not hinge on the traditional practices of mainline, Enlightenment, Protestant theology. Instead, it relates more to the practices of the ancient church leaders; leaning less on reason, and more on mystery. Key to this is a simple word: awareness. Awareness of the world around us. God around us; in us. A stillness of the inside and outside that allows us to be aware of things about which we might otherwise not take notice. The result is a profound change as our stillness allows the still small voice to be heard. Since beginning the centering prayer practices, I have found that I have undergone some changes, and it has been good. Awareness has helped me make some strides in my journey that I'd otherwise not been able to make as a result of me having to look outside my little bubble of reality.

Over the course of this experience, it has hit me just how awareness, or more specifically, the lack thereof has profoundly affected our day to day lives. Think about it. The person who cuts you off on the road as you're trying to get from point A to point B? They were likely so engrossed in their own little world that they were likely not even aware you were there until after the fact. The white collar criminal? I'd suggest that if he were acutely aware of the damage that his actions would have on others, he might be a bit more reluctant to err. What about plain old teenage adolescent behavior. Is it not at its core a self-absorption that stems from such an intense awareness of self that awareness of the other is muted?

Truly, I think that a lack of awareness is really what fuels most, if not all of our societal challenges. In fact, isn't that really what sin is: an illusion of separateness; a numbing of awareness as to how our choices and actions affect others and God? If so, then I'd suggest that the "renewing of your mind", the metanoia that the Apostle Paul writes about starts with cultivating a higher level of awareness.

Simple right? Not really.

Having grown up in the mountains of southwestern New Mexico, I had a lot of encounters with deer, and deer hunting is an integral part of the local culture. In my senior level biology class in high school (which focused on the local flora and fauna), I learned that deer are far less aware when they are moving as opposed to standing still. Deer bounding through the forest tend to be so tunnel visioned that they are oblivious to the dangers around them. It is only when they stand completely still that their enhanced senses can detect danger and avoid it.

We live in a crazy world. We are all constantly in motion, with tons of schedules to keep and things to do. Morning and evening commutes are filled with drivers who are just trying to get home as quickly as they can so they can have as much down time at home as possible before jetting off to the next activity. With this sort of chaotic, frenetic pace of life, is it any wonder that we're having accidents on the road and meltdowns at home? Staying still and listening is not something that we do easily or well.

How much healthier and more aware would be if we just set aside a few minutes every day with no kids, no computer, no iPhone (or in my case Droid), no pets, no spouses, etc. and closeted ourselves in a dark room with nothing but naturally occurring sounds around us? How would our awareness be sharpened? How would we change as we became more aware? How would our culture and our churches change if we REALLY practiced, "Be still and know that I am God?"

I will say that for me, the experience has been nothing short of refreshing.

Ruin is a gift...

During college, I worked for Dr. Bill Gillham--a psychologist. While he and his wife authored books and spoke around the country, much of his work with individual clients at that time was counseling people whose lives were crumbling. He taught them about grace. 

I remember asking him one day what he thought about a popular clinic in the Metroplex. His response was, "I think their problem is that they coach people in building back all the things that God is trying to tear down in their lives."

In the movie, Eat Pray Love, there is a scene where Elizabeth Gilbert--sitting among the Roman ruins--says, "Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation."

If you have ever experienced ruin, you likely feel the resonance of that statement. Ruin takes you to your foundations but it also clears away faulty craftsmanship and gives opportunity for something better.

Of course when living that out, few of us feel as serene as Julia Robert's character, Elizabeth, did saying that.  We usually find ourselves more like Steve Martin in The Jerk when he'd lost everything and attempting a dramatic exit doing things like...All I need is this phone.  This phone and this lamp. This phone and this lamp and this chair... On and on, until like Steve, we are in an awkward hobble out the door trying to take bits and pieces of the life we've built with us.

The Apostle Paul writes to the Corinthians: "By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames."

Ruin can feel like "escaping through the flames" and the pain can be intense watching everything we've built ourselves through self-confidence, self-pity, self-reliance and a whole other host of "self" words crumble to the ground until we are left with only the foundations.  It is at this point we have a choice.  We can start again using those same building methods or we can open ourselves to God (often we are so broken at this point we are open to the help) and allow Him to build something better.

Yes, ruin is a gift...

Calling the Lurkers to Come out and Play | Defining Creativity

For me there is more relaxation in the doing of something I enjoy than in the not doing. (John perceives this as crazy, but I doubt I'm alone in this.) And doing something creative (bringing about something tangible that wouldn't have existed otherwise) is often the most relaxing thing of all. (A few months ago, in a random day off, I painted a birdhouse and hung it in our tree. )

Erin-the-Wonder-Woman and I have been having a discussion about what makes someone creative. (Prompted by her assertion that she does not "have a creative bone in her body.")

I'm pretty sure that this desire to create is part of our Imago Dei.  What if the challenge isn't in creativity itself, but in how we define it? Do we limit it to a kindergarten perception involving paint, glue and scissors? 

I'm curious...what are you driven to create?

Night out with the yogis...

Heather-the-Hippie-Chick organized a date for all the women from the Mariposa retreat to get together for conversation, Thai food and to go see the movie, Eat Pray Love.

There is something about yoga that draws people together.  Maybe it is simply having a common interest, or maybe it is because yoga is a quest for something more than a better body.


In any case, it was great to get to catch up with these wonderful women.

Women I will see again in October.  Back on our mats by the lake.

A Pavlovian problem

I am finding these days that I have a rather unusual and inconvenient problem.  You see for five years I drove my Scion, which beeped when it was down to a 1/4 tank of gas to remind me to fill up.  Beep. Fill up. Beep. Fill up. No beep. No fill up.

However my new car--my Toyota--has no such feature and I have been so trained by the Scion to wait for the beep that I have RUN OUT OF GAS THREE TIMES IN FIVE WEEKS.

The first time was actually pretty scary.  I was somewhere between here and Kerrville on a country road in 100 degree heat and when I realized I was below E I saw a billboard that said the next gas station was eight miles.

The second time John was driving and we actually ran out of gas on the highway.  In what could only be classified as a miracle, the engine died at the top of a bridge and we coasted down an exit on the other side through a break in traffic, into the parking lot of a gas station and stopped at the pump.

Last night, I got in my car after work and it did that little gasping thing cars do when there is no gasoline.  Luckily John was available and came for the rescue with a gas can.

I have a call into my friend Kimberly-the-Behavioral-Therapist for her idea on a counter-Pavlovian methodology, but I am definitely open to suggestions below.

When things don't fit...

John and I had an evening where nothing clicked. Every interaction was difficult. Every frustration flared. Misunderstanding. Misunderstood.

A whole night from the time I got home from work of trying to fit the wrong piece into a shape-sorter toy.

So now, I've been up since 2am with my stomach in knots and wound up rereading posts on Ron Martoia's blog, and this post jumped out at me...

Acceptance of the grace and mystery of life means that the core posture of our soul and pattern of our life is letting go….letting go of the need to make every thing fit, cohere. We just need to surrender to what arises and allow the mystery and grace of life to come to us uncensored and unedited. When I say surrender what do I mean? ...Surrender is radical acceptance of our lives just as they are, it is the active turning of the mind from willfulness (resisting or trying to change what is) to willingness, (meeting what is or accepting life on life’s terms). 

THIS DOESN’T imply becoming passive or condoning an unacceptable situation; instead radical acceptance is an active engagement with whatever is happening in the moment.  Radical acceptance is precisely what decreases pain. Our ability to receive and accept instead of fight and resist is what decreases pain and discomfort. 

I not only read about this a lot in the larger wisdom traditions but have experienced this first hand.
When I try to control or fight circumstances in relationships or in certain church setting I work that very resistance is precisely what heightens pain and angst. 

Furthermore it is in the mystery the parts that don’t initially makes sense that often God is up to something that we couldn’t see before, hadn’t planned or didn’t anticipate.

Ron's posts sometimes seem just out of reach for me.  Like a thought that is true, but hovering just beyond my grasp.  In yoga, they talk a lot about release, surrender, letting go...but in my day to day...especially on a shape-sorter night, I'm not sure how to live that out. Or even exactly what it is I'm supposed to be accepting or letting go.

No major epiphanies to wrap this up with. Is just my moment right now... (Is "lack of sleep blogging" like "drunk texting"?)

4 x 4 | Willa

There is an internet meme called "4x4." The way it works is that you go to the photo directory on your hard drive and choose the 4th folder, then select the 4th picture and write about it.

This is Willa--John's aunt. When I first met Willa, we were walking toward her at a family reunion--my first reunion as a new wife--and she yelled out across the parking lot "John?! Troy?! Get over here ya little sh*t's!"

(I had no idea what to do with that. In my world, grown-ups--especially women--never EVER talked like that.)

Willa was one of the first in the Women's Air Corps, and she probably would have retired career military if a fall (due to the high heels that were part of the uniform) hadn't wrenched her leg and forced her out on a medical discharge.

Willa was smart, funny and tough as nails.  She always talked to you peer-to-peer.  Never up or down. She also prayed in her old age.  A lot.  She prayed for all of us.  So much so that I felt the lack of it when she died.

Willa and I wrote each other in later years.  In fact, in many ways the letters were the beginnings of this blog. When she died, she left me her Japanese silk doll that still sits in its glass case in my bedroom.  Willa loved all things Asian and very much wanted to visit Japan.  (Pretty sure if she had ever gotten to go, she would have turned it on its ear.) I love it that the doll--that saw all of Willa's comings and goings--now watches mine.

Willa, you'd better have the coffee pot on when we are reunited someday.  I miss you.

The Secret Ingredient to Decluttering, Moving or Organizing

Ever wonder why shows like Clean House, Dress My Nest or virtually anything on HGTV can come in and do in days what families haven't been able to do in years?

It is simple.  They aren't emotionally attached to your stuff.

They come in and quickly make decisions based on what the space needs to be able to meet its desired function.

In time management classes, we are often taught about the 3 D's (deal with, delete or delegate). The idea is that you only want to handle a piece of paper once.  Every time you delay making a decision, you lose time.  For example, if I have a form I'm not really sure what to do with, it might sit on my desk.  Once a week as I go through stuff, I may pick it up and look at it.  Each time, there is a moment of "Now what is this?"  Those moments are lost repeating that same "what is it" task over and over until I finally...1) fill it out and send it off, 2) throw it away or 3) call whoever I need to call to get the information I need to make the decision to deal or delete.

The thing is, this concept works with our "stuff" too.  Each time we touch something that doesn't have an immediate and useful purpose, we lose that moment. The piece of clothing we pass over to what we really want to wear.  The scrap of paper attached to a memory. The canned good we don't need for this week's meal plan.  Our "stuff" takes time in incremental moments.

My family learned this lesson by accident.  When the US Army sent us to Panama, we were only allowed "hold baggage"--that's a small cache of necessities while you wait for the rest of your goods to arrive.  For six weeks, we lived with "hold baggage" and something unexpected happened.  We had tons of time.  We explored. Met our neighbors. Sat outside and watched exotic wildlife walk through our jungle backyard. Once our "stuff" arrived, that time was gone.

Getting into a rhythm of the 3D's so that you only touch each e-mail or paper once is transforming in your work life.  What if you got into that rhythm in your home life of being able to quickly make decisions about "stuff?" Instead of making a decision over and over to keep something you don't use what if you simply decided to donate it? Instead of delaying hanging pictures, positioning furniture or unpacking boxes, what if you just did it? Instead of passing over clothing that you might use someday--what if you shortened the time you spent in your closet simply by paring down the choices?

The secret ingredient to decluttering, moving and organizing is building confidence in making decisions. Rather than delay so that you have to lose moments touching something and deciding not to deal/delete/delegate over and over just do it. Yes, you will make some mistakes and let go of stuff you need later.  But you know what?  That's okay. The loss of any one thing is rarely catastrophic.  And the amount of time you are gifted with, can be transformative.

Gliders in shoes...

Sugar gliders are very curious.  Last week, Bethany had a pair of heels she'd repaired sitting on the desk...and Kayla and Kazoo found them fascinating.

I was lucky they were interested enough to stay put while I grabbed the camera.  Of course, then they were all interested in the camera.

Moving day for Bethany...

Today was moving day for Bethany.  She and Chase are sharing an apartment while they both attend the same university.

In Bethany's characteristic organized way (her lists have sub lists and are color-coded) the move actually went really smooth.  We finished up the packing early this morning, loaded up into a friend's truck and drove to Denton.

This is the first time we'd seen what she'd picked out over weeks of comparison shopping, finding out things were full, then going back and looking again.

Square footage-wise the apartment is pretty close to the square footage of our first house. The kitchen is large with lots of storage and the two bedrooms each have their own bathroom and are separated by the living room. (The mantle does lean...which is a little quirky.)

Since Chase was away at camp where he's worked this summer as a counselor, we got his things moved and set up too. (He gets less than 24 hours off each week and couldn't get here until evening.) I got to play "mom" and do a bit of organizing and decorating while John did the "dad" thing and assembled furniture. Bethany unloaded boxes and washed dishes. (She picked out way cool square plates!)

After the last of the boxes were broken down, we all had dinner at Uncle Julios--the restaurant where we celebrate all big family occasions. (We even got to see Melanie S. there!)  Then the kids came back to the house, grabbed a few last items and drove off to spend their first night in their new place.

Everyone has asked me...are you sad?  And I haven't been...until just now.  And sad maybe isn't even the right terminology.  After all, I couldn't be prouder of the way Bethany has navigated all of the grown up activity or more excited about her joy in her new place.  But tonight, as we prayed over both of the kids....John, Bethany and I all teared up a bit.

And something inside me was very grateful to learn that she is actually going to miss us too.

Too Much of Me

I recently read a blog post that I liked by Rachel Held Evans that I thought was worth repeating, here...

"On Sunday I tweeted, “If publishing is the icing on the writing cake, then publicity is like eating that icing for breakfast, lunch, & dinner.” And this week I’m suffering from a pretty serious glucose crash. I’m tired of talking about my book. I’m tired of traveling. I’m tired of watching my Amazon sales rank rise and fall. I’m tired of feeling guilty about those 52 unanswered emails in my inbox. I’m tired of myself. Admitting this only makes me feel more selfish. "I just achieved a lifelong dream," I keep reminding myself. “I should be over the moon. I should be rid of all my insecurities and fears. I should have an unlimited supply of energy and enthusiasm and joy.” There are so many people who long to write and publish a book, I feel like I owe it to them to be happy.  But the truth is, I can’t remember the last time I’ve been this tired. I think this is an important reality to share with you because one thing we have in common is the fact that a self-centered life is ultimately unfulfilling. We are not deep enough for it. We use ourselves up and then wear ourselves out clawing at the bottom of an empty well for more.

What we really need is community. We need other people’s sorrows, other people’s joys, other people’s needs, other people’s contributions. And we need these things no matter how many goals we achieve or how much money we make. The source of true joy is available to all, at any time, regardless of status or station."

Lookie! A new toy...

Five days of big sky

John and I spent the past five days in New Mexico with family.  We drove.  Ten hours.  But when you consider that you go south at a town almost an hour outside of Albuquerque and drive and drive and drive until you get to the portable building that is the post office for McIntosh, New Mexico, then start counting mile markers....the economics are pretty much a toss up between flying then renting a car or simply saving that money and doing the road trip like we used to when the kids were little. 

It always strikes me how different the pace of life is in the country.  It isn't that there isn't anything to do.  It is simply that the things you do are softer.  Maybe a bit slower. 

While we were there, I took walks with John's dad and his black lab, Bo, each morning.  John's dad has an incredible walk with the Lord, and now that he is retired, most of his days are spent helping others. He cuts wood for those who don't have it.  Repairs widow's homes. Visits the sick. 

He has always been into going deep into learning new things.  He taught himself carpentry (we have the most beautiful rocking horse that the kids rode when they were little), and metal working (first jewelry, then knives, then the kind of cutouts you see at the entries of ranches), then harmonica.  In fact, he plays with the worship band at their little country church.  We got to go to their church on Sunday morning.  It is a true community and their pastor's love for God shines in every word he speaks.

John's dad married Maidie after he and John's mom divorced in the 70's.  Like John, Maidie has a deep love for God.  She grew up in an orphanage and has really interesting stories.  She is bright and knows a great deal about a good many things--mostly self-taught through a deep love of reading.  Maidie likes anything "old and rusty" and has a rich country style. She shops HSN and QVC (you would too if you lived in the middle of nowhere). And I think it is  really sweet and always stocks up on Morningstar so vegetarian me can have sausage and biscuits with the rest of the family.  John's dad says, "she was beautiful when I married her but I learned she is so much more beautiful on the inside."

While we were there we rode the Tramway which gave a spectacular view of the Sandias until the cable car went into the clouds. We took the chair lift down the other side of the mountains so we could experience actually being in the cloud--which lifted on the way back up revealing a stunning view.

We went to Datil up in the mountains where John spent some time growing up. Datil has a quiet beauty and John and I walked through the woods where he used to play as a boy. 

A lot of time was spent talking.  John and his dad hunted jackrabbits. If you've never seen a New Mexico jackrabbit.  I have to say, they are actually scary.  Huge things.  In fact, I'm pretty sure it was a New Mexico jackrabbit that inspired Monty Python's "killer rabbit" scene.) 

After five days of country life, I have a day to transition back into the pace of the city.  Today will be spent with Bethany getting ready for college (with laundry and grocery shopping thrown in).  Days breathing mountain air (and reading my father-in-law's copy of Tozer) recharges the soul.