The Sabbath Experiment

Magical-David last week challenged us on Sabbath--as in actually doing it. (I really appreciated that he shared it is something he struggles with.)

So, John and I decided that for the next two months, we are doing it.  A whole 24 hours just spent enjoying.  From sundown on Saturday evening until sundown on Sunday (pragmatically 6pm to 6pm) we will "rest from our work" and accomplish nothing.

And boy, does it take a lot of preparation to be able to do this.  We had to go grocery shopping on Friday night, get all the laundry done, wrap a baby shower gift, wash the dog, clean the carpet, prep this blog post, plan meals for Sunday that we can just grab with no cooking (translation: frozen and microwavable)... In fact, I finished my 2.5 hour per weekend freelance gig just in the nick of time.

My guess is that as we get used to this, it will become easier.  I know one thing, the day of rest was absolutely beautiful.

Say it on the Wall

I've been looking at vinyl lettering for awhile because I was interested in seeing what that would look like in my home.  So, when the Shabby Nest blog ran a special by Say it on the Wall, it was the perfect time to try.

One word and simple white letters--that I later toned down with a cream colored Copic marker to make it better fit the tones of the painting.

This is also the room I use to do yoga, so the word was a perfect reminder.

Disarmament

I've become interested in the concept of "non-violence." (I should probably highlight that I grew up  here in Texas--a place where if you trespass we will shoot you.)

But the concepts of Dr. Martin Luther King and Gandhi are compelling. And as much as evangelical thinking can be wrapped in defense--and if you are part of the religious right "national defense"--it is hard to get around Jesus asking us to turn the other cheek and telling Peter to put his sword away, then healing the man whose ear was cut off.

Recently, I was reading a piece on disarmament--which I usually think of in terms of nations, cold wars and big missiles in silos somewhere far, far away. While the piece started globally, it quickly got personal and asked some challenging questions...

What personal defense systems you have in place? Do you respect everyone's right to their own views or opinions or do you feel threatened by those who disagree with you? Are you armed, emotionally or literally, to protect yourself from potential threats, or do you arm yourself only with compassion, respect and faith? How are you willing to begin disarmament in your life?

The idea of personal disarmament was a radical thought for me. Yet, completely Biblical. We are told not to seek vengeance. To trust God to defend us.

But to truly disarm, we would have to believe that love has power. And I'm fairly certain we don't actually believe that.  Not only do we not want to "bless those who curse us, pray for those who mistreat us" we are afraid to.  Certain that we will be destroyed. And, maybe we would be. After all, King, Gandhi and Jesus didn't exactly live their lives in comfort and safety.

But love is the only model we are given to bring about transformation.  Not just for the person loving, but in those for whom it is poured out. The idea of personal disarmament is definitely one worth grappling with.

The Hidden Dangers of Tree Yoga

Relax Into Yoga's retreat was wonderful.  It was really lovely to do yoga outside. It was also a great opportunity to bring my tree yoga harness.  After several unsucessful attempts to find just the right tree we found one that was perfect.  I slung the tree sling over a branch and secured it, then started to climb in when suddenly the branch above began to move. 

It took me a moment to realize that it wasn't a branch at all, but a giant bark-colored snake. I jumped out very quickly and honestly if the sling hadn't been so expensive, I would have abandoned it.  Fortunately, Lorna's family owned a pet shop when she grew up and she had no fear of reptiles so she got the sling back down.

After a couple of "snake" nighmares last night I went online to figure out what I'd seen.  Just a Texas rat snake.  Huge, but non-venomous.  And very, very creepy.

Nancy-the-Insightful's Big Adventure

Nancy-the-Insightful is one of the "people in my story." We've worked together for the past 11 years; we've been neighbors for the past 5 and we go to church and yoga together.

Nancy is one of the most capable people I know. Not only professionally, but also on a soul level. She has deep wisdom, even deeper compassion and is this incredible shepherd of relationships.

Yesterday was her last day at my day job.  Not because she is "leaving to pursue opportunities," but because she is struggling with bandwidth. For the past two years, she has been caring for her parents.  Her mom has Alzheimers (a disease that is harder on the family than the person who has it).

The woman who can "do it all"...host a church small group, actively participate in another, serve her parents, serve her family, serve her job...found that after two years of 16 hour days that refreshing her soul mattered. 

The thing is that caring for your soul when so many depend on you is rarely as simple as simply taking a vacation day. (Especially when all of your vacation days have been spent taking elderly parents to doctors appointments or in hospital visits.) It takes a radical move to know that God didn't design you to live this way and to "accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can."

Nancy made a bold move in trust to follow where she believes God is leading with no clue of the outcome.  There are financial fears, relational fears, the pressure of expectations...
The needs of those we love are great. Yet God commands rest and Jesus modeled pulling away (even when there were more people who needed healing). It is a really brave thing to pursue that.

Juxtaposition

The beautiful and the ugly coexist.

Devastation in Japan. Peace in Dallas, Texas.

Loss for the grieving. Joy for those holding a puppy.

Struggling to buy food.  Having enough to pick up a new rug for the guest room.

There is no code. No formula to be cracked to make sure you are on one side rather than the other.

It simply is.  Simultaneously.

What if we stopped looking for ways to manage and acknowledged our utter lack of control over circumstances?  What if we let go of our fear and liberated our ability to respond? What if we allowed Something bigger than ourselves to flow through us to bear witness to suffering, share joy, and offer resources when we have them?

As much as we want all to be beautiful, it simply isn't.  And surprisingly, that doesn't dim the parts that are, but rather it shows them off more fully in sharp relief.

More on Openness

My husband made an interesting comment...

I have found in my personal life that with limited horizons comes arrogance. When my world is defined by only that which I am aware or knowledgeable about I am much more likely to scorn the input or thoughts of others. My own ideas become better and better as long as there is no one else's to compare them to.


It is a brilliant thought...and one I've found to be true in my personal life too.

Remember when

My sister reminded me this weekend that when we were young there were no leash laws.  All the neighborhood dogs would roam the streets, then go home whenever they got hungry.

As kids we knew whose dog was whose and greeted each by name.  They knew who belonged to the neighborhood and ran off any passing strays (both canine and human).

I'm pretty sure Mia and Pepper would have loved that world.

But I bet it sucked for the mailmen.

On Weakness

I've written before about my athsma. And while it isn't as bad as when I was a kid (the drugs have gotten much better), it still continues to completely take me out of the game--especially if I catch a cold.  Any "sick" settles in my lungs and makes me exhausted.

The scary part to me is that I can't control it.

I can't schedule it to be convenient.

It makes me weak. (Both literally and metaphorically.) And I hate that.

I've tried everything from accupuncture to dietary restrictions and while each new alternative heath measure often buys improvement for a time, nothing actually heals.  And I have a hard time reconciling that because I do believe in healing.

It is interesting to me that God leaves us flawed. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. And then says things like "My strength is made perfect in weakness." (2 Cor 12:9) I am frustrated that I can't rest in that.  Instead I worry about all the e-mails sitting in my inbox or the chores I'm supposed to take care of.

And maybe the worst part is that I worry deep down that I won't be enough. That if I could just go to more yoga classes, be more strictly vegan, read the right books, make myself sleep better or intellectually crack the code that I could beat this.

But what if it isn't about that?

What if like the Mary and Martha story, only one thing is needed? And what if I've been so busy chasing away my weakness that I've missed the pause that it brings? The opportunity to be human and be embraced/cared for by the divine? 

What if for one moment I considered that it isn't about me, my ability or lack thereof? What if I wasn't afraid of others expectations and perceived disappointments?

What if I really believed that "God would supply all my needs" (Phil. 4:19)? Or that I could "cast my cares on Him because He cares for me." (1Pet. 5:7)

There is always a gap in our faith--even for the most committed of Christians. Maybe the weakness is there to expose that gap...and possibly even narrow it.

On Blessing

Last night I went to a "going away" dinner for Sheila-the-Butterfly. It is a bittersweet move for Sheila.  She is leaving a group of close friends to go on a great adventure with God to give love to family during a time when her ability to cherish and nurture is deeply needed.

As we sat around the table, Sheila "blessed" each of us.  She told what was unique about each of us and what she 'saw' in us.  Also how we had individually touched her life. It was an outpouring of beauty celebrating who each other is.

We should definitely do more 'blessing.'

Risk

There is always risk involved in things worth doing. We can play it safe. Hang out backstage. Wait for someone else to say their lines so that we aren't out there improving.

We can parrot others ideas. Play the prescribed roles. Make sure we are always dressed in costume.

To be who you really are and to do the job that you are uniquely wired to do requires you to go off script...and sometimes that creates tension between ourselves and others or simply fear within.