The Woman at Starbucks

The Starbucks near my office has the worst traffic situation ever.  It is on a very small site near a major intersection--where the drive-thru is very popular.  If you do ever decide to park and go in, chances are you won't be able to leave the lot for hours since the line doubles around the building blocking any hope of escape.

There are two entrances to the lot with no clear idea of who is really in line.  I usually go in through the entrance with more margin, where you aren't stuck in the lane that backs up traffic onto the street.

Last week, as I pulled in there was a woman in a large vehicle with a Mini behind her pulling in through the "bad entrance".  I stopped the line and waved her in so that the Mini wouldn't be stuck on the street.   A few moments later unaware of my generosity, the Mini honked impatiently at me when I didn't move immediately with the line when it inched forward. (Which annoyed me.)

When I got to the window to pay my order the barista said, "No charge.  The woman in the SUV said to tell you thank you for letting her in line."

Amazing how acts of appreciation and kindness can color a day.

Thank you, woman at Starbucks for being extraordinary.

More girlShow fun

When you develop a context where creative energy is unleashed with abandon, there is no telling what can happen.  This photo booth collaboration by David Rodriguez and photographer, Tammy Grove, allowed girlShow attendees to play in a room upside down.

To see more photos in the series, visit Tammy Grove's site. 

ArtLoveMagic's girlShow 2011

It's always hard to capture in a blog post the magic of girlShow.  Like with all ArtLoveMagic shows, artists create live during the event.

Maybe girlShow is special because all of the musicians, poets, DJ's, dancers and visual artists are female. Or maybe it is simply special because it is one of the largest shows of the year.

In any case I find it impossible to share it in words, so I will do it with pictures.

The Just-Us League Painting a Mural Live Onstage

Me in the audience

Bluesy Kelly Nygren onstage

Break dancers!

Sarah Zamora creates live

My partner in this adventure, Julie-de-Vivir

Yamas | Asteya (Non-Stealing)

As part of my yoga studies, I read Patanjali's Yoga Sutra.  The short version is that someone named Patanjali around 300 AD decided to codify the thousands of years of yoga tradition into a writen sutra.

The whole idea of a sutra to someone who loves words is fascinating.  A sutra is a concise way of communicating complex ideas or truths.

Patanjali outlines Yamas (restraints) as part of the eight limbs of yoga.  One of those yamas is Asteya--or non-stealing.  An unfettered hyperlink frenzy lead me to this definition on Wikipedia which was part of the entry on Jainism. (I was super curious because I have a friend that I really admire who is Jain.)  Per Wikipedia...

The definition of Asteya is to not take anything that is not willingly given. It is the strict adherence to one's own possessions, without desire to take another's. One should remain satisfied by whatever is earned through honest labour. Any attempt to squeeze material wealth from others and/or exploit the weak is considered theft.

Some of the guidelines for this principle are:
(1) Always give people fair value for labor or product.
(2) Never take things that are not offered.
(3) Never take things that are placed, dropped or forgotten by others.
(4) Never purchase cheaper things if the price is the result of improper method (e.g., pyramid scheme, illegal business, stolen goods, etc.)

It is interesting to me that the concept includes fair-trade and that it is holistic in scope.

There is joy to me in finding truths that cross time and cultures. When I started studying yoga, it never occurred to me that they would have similar instructions for living as the ones I was raised with.

What if the solution to all the problems is addition?

I was thinking the other day about darkness.  There is no way to "add dark."  To get a room darker, you have to subtract light.  Conversely, if you want to make a room brighter, you can't subtract dark.  You must add light. Darkness is constant.  It is light that is the variable.

The same thing is true with flavor.  You can't subtract flavor.  You can only add.  (Ask any cook who has ever put too much salt in a dish. You simply have to start over.)  Flavorlessness is the baseline.  It is flavor that is the variable.

This principle applies to cold and heat.  There is such a think as Absolute Zero--which is the absence of all heat. When no atoms are moving it translates to -459 degrees Fahrenheit.  Cold is the absolute.  It is heat that is the variable.

What if the same thing is true with good and evil?  What if there is no way to 'subtract' evil?  What if you have to 'add' good? 

It's a popular thing for people to protest, get angry, speak harshly about things they are against.  But what if that is exactly the wrong thing to do?  What if the true solution is about addition?

Could that be why Jesus said things like: "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. " (Gospel of Luke 6:27-31)

If removing darkness is about being light, then we have much to change in our methodologies. I appreciate Gandhi's phrase: "Be the change you want to see in the world."  But to be the change, we have to be connected to the source of it.  Which makes staying connected--like branches to a vine--all the more important.

The thing about Jesus...

I remember when I was younger wondering why there wasn't more of Jesus' teaching captured.  Aside from the Sermon on the Mount, the Gospels are more an account of the things He did than a list of teachings on how to live.

It occurs to me that there is reason for that.

While Jesus could have spent his time making sure we knew the rules, instead He revealed the character of God through action.  He healed people. He ate and he slept. He defied legalism. He suffered.  He laid down his rights. He hung out with people that society--especially religious society--rejected.  He loved in ways we'd rarely seen before. 

Such a different picture of a God than we are often given. And one worth giving up everything to pursue.

Vegan Meal Planner

One of the challenges of living a vegan lifestyle is meal planning.  It really helped that the Blissful Chef taught us how to think about assembling meals.  I took it a step further and created a blank planning sheet especially geared to vegans that I wanted to share.

Vegan Meal Planner

The problem with labels

I always seem to carry inside myself this sense of not really belonging.  As if I never quite fit the labels in just the right way.  I think in my teens and early 20's I really tried to fit, but it never seems to be a game that can be won.

To be fair, part of the 'not belonging' has to do with choices in lifestyle.  After all, I'm a Texas girl, yet embrace being vegetarian.  Or that I don't watch the news because I don't want the stream of every evil thing that happened on the planet today to obscure all the beauty never reported on. But others have to do with core wiring--like that I'm Christian but I believe salvation is a "whole human race" thing and not just a "some people" thing. Or that I'm drawn to people more different to me than alike.

Oddly enough, at the moment, the label I'm struggling the most is: yogi.

For context, I love yoga.  I feel like I've discovered something I've been looking for all my life.  For an uncoordinated 'smart girl' who was never able to catch a ball, finding something physical that I enjoy and continue to improve at is a big deal.  But my love for yoga goes beyond the physical. I like the stillness of it.  I like the quiet it brings to my mind and the sense of God that flows over me whenever I finally reach savasana. (The pose at the end of every yoga class where you just lie on the floor and be.)  I like how holistic it is encompassing mind, breath and body.  I like the emphasis on mindfulness, kindness, truthfulness and love. I like the other yogis--interesting, vibrant people who come to yoga from a thousand different backgrounds and for a million different reasons.

But some of my Christian friends are cynical.  They feel there is a conflict between the label of yogi and the label of Christianity.  Sometimes I wonder if they are confusing yoga and Hinduism.  (Note a lot of people practicing yoga are Hindu since the country of origin is India, but not all Hindus practice yoga. Many Christians and Muslims do too.) Or maybe the conflict comes from the tendency of Western Christianity to think of the body as fallen and therefore not worthy of care. Or maybe they don't really believe that the Holy Spirit would lead us into anything different than what has been sanctioned and approved by the current thinking of the church.  Even though almost every story in Scripture is about people following God into places that were counter-cultural. And beyond that, the church has changed its stance many times on things they were simply wrong about.  Reference changes in doctrinal statements related to dancing, drinking, racism and the role of women.
But probably most challenging is that labels--no matter how accurate--are two-dimensional categories for multi-dimensional people. They limit rather than liberate. They define rather than expand. And my guess is that no matter how many labels are assigned to you, that they fall terribly short of the person you are inside.

The danger in labels is in when we try to fit to them.  When we attempt to be exactly what the label tells us we should be.  That puts us in a position of not being true to ourselves.  And being in conflict with ourselves is a recipe for unhappiness.  At our core, we have to be who we really are--even if the labels don't quite fit.

Loving our humanness

I read these beautiful words by John Welwood this week and wanted to share...

"As a child of heaven and earth, you are a mix of infinite openness and finite limitation.  This means that you are both wonderful and difficult at the same time. You are flawed, you are stuck in old patterns, you become carried away with yourself.  Indeed, you are quite impossible in many ways.  And still, you are beautiful beyond measure.  For the core of what you are is fashioned out of love, that potent blend of openness, warmth, and clear, transparent presence.  Boundless love always manages somehow to sparkle through your limited form."

We are all impossible and we are all beautiful.  I love that.

This was just funny...10 reasons we hate Facebook

Good advice

Sometimes the most healthy, spiritual and productive thing you can possibly do, is take a nap.

Chase's Mohawk

Chase stopped by the house last weekend on his way to camp where he is working as a counselor this summer. It was the first time I'd ever seen him with a mohawk and it made me smile. 

Sometimes I need the words...

It's probably silly, really.  But sometimes you need to hear it.

I love you.
You look nice.
Really appreciate the way you handled that.

But better yet are the creative words. The words that aren't reflexive, but rather highlight things that aren't readily seen.

Sometimes I need the words.

Adventures in Yoga | Hot Yoga

So as I've continued my yoga adventure, I decided to try "hot yoga." The thing with 'hot yoga' is that you practice in a studio where the temp is between 95 and 105 degrees.  My understanding is that the heat is supposed to warm your muscles making it easier to stretch and that the sweat is detoxifying.

I was a little nervous because any time I asked about "hot yoga" to people who have been practicing yoga in a different discipline for awhile, I got mixed responses and always a hesitation before answering.  Even Yoga Journal--a publication I really enjoy--has an articled called Yoga's Bad Boy about Bikram Choudhury--the man who started hot yoga. So, as you might imagine, I was a little nervous about it. (Mostly that someone else would get their sweat on me...eeew.)

My adventure began when my home studio had to cancel early AM classes because Craig-the-Yoga-Artist moved away and Florida is too long of a drive for an AM commute. Heather-the-Hippie-Chick helped me design a home practice, but I found I really missed the energy of having a teacher and other students. Sooooo...I started looking at alternate studios in a radius where I could pull off drivetime, an hour class, and making it to work on time.  I only found one...and it is a hot yoga studio.  A Living Social coupon sealed the deal on a test drive.

The instructor warned me at the outset that I would feel dizzy or even sick during the first few classes and should drop into child's pose when that happened.  (She was right.)  Here are some other things I wish I'd been told at the outset:

1. Drink a lot of water about 45 minutes BEFORE class. And count on doubling your fluid intake on a day when you take a class.

2. A yoga towel to lay on your mat is standard equipment. (And they are expensive.)  If not, you will slip making even easy poses threatening.

3. The detox thing isn't just physical, it is emotional too.  (I had to Google to find this out, but apparently when you first start practicing, any emotional tension being held in your muscles gets released and you can expect bursts of anger or tears.) 

4. Add an electrolyte supplement to your vitamin regime. I like Trace Minerals - 40 000 Volts which you add to water or juice creating your own Gatorade without the dyes or sugar.

Though the experience has been very different to the studio I love, I'm committed to finishing my 20-class test drive and then will make a decision from there.  There is a lot to like about the studio:  class schedule, easy check-in with a barcode on my keyring, unlimited monthly pricing, location, instructors who seem to genuinely care...if only they would drop the temp about 20 degrees...

On the link between anger and depression...

I once heard someone define depression as frozen anger.

Having grown up in a religious culture that didn't allow positive expressions of anger, I get why so many people are depressed. If anger itself is labeled a sin, then you can't acknowledge it.  And if you can't act, you lose hope--causing at the very least depression and at the very most despair.

I read an interesting commentary this week on anger by Sue Monk Kidd.

Anger needs not only to be recognized and allowed; like grief it eventually needs to be transformed into an energy that serves compassion.  Maybe one reason I had avoided my anger was that like a lot of people, I had thought there were only two responses to anger: to deny it or to strike out thoughtlessly.  But other responses are possible.  We can allow anger's enormous energy to lead us to acts of resistance against patriarchy [Anne's words, could be against anything].  Anger can fuel our ability to challenge, to defy injustice.  It can lead to creative projects, constructive behavior, acts that work toward inclusion. In such ways anger becomes a dynamism of love.

The idea of anger becoming a dynamism of love is a powerful one. After all, most of us have experienced the energy anger brings.  Learning to use that power for good instead of destruction is the trick. One thing I know for sure, freezing it also locks down our souls.  And that is never a good option.