We do it in politics, "if only they would do x,y,z then the budget would be balanced."
We do it professionally..."if only they had listened to us then the project wouldnt be in this mess."
We do it personally..."if only they would be more open then we could have a better relationship."
It isn't that these statements aren't true; it is that the framing of them reveals that we don't see ourselves as part of the equation. We have a way of separating ourselves from the system (government, corporation, family, circle of friends, organization) that we are actually part of.
What if we only thought in terms of "we"? What would that look like?
If only we did x,y,z, then we could balance the budget.
If only we had listened, then the project wouldn't be in this mess.
If only we would be more open, then we could have a better relationship.
It occurs to me we should probably stop saying "they" altogether.