Vegan cupcakes...first try...

So, we finally had the chance to test drive a recipe from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World.

The flavor was great, but the texture wasn't quite right.

One of the things I love about the cookbooks by Isa Moskowitz and Terry Romero is that the advice is super practical and assumes you have never done this before. They even have a troubleshooting section if you don't quite get the best results the first time.

We halved the recipe which may have resulted in too much liquid and not enough flour.

The cool thing is that with these 'six cupcake' experiments, we have time to get it right.

On marriage | The Big Myth

John and I went to FamilyLife's Art of Marriage conference this weekend. It was really good. In fact, if you have the opportunity and are married or thinking about getting married you should go.

One of the "big ideas" they presented...and one I have struggled with...was about the myth of 'the one.'

Growing up, through movies, music and stories told to me by married adults, I learned this idea of "the one." And while few of us may think this logically, we are still influenced by the idea that there is "one" person out there who will make us truly happy. And yet, when we actually live with that person and see just how flawed they really are, well...we start wondering if we made a mistake. (Because clearly THIS person is definitely NOT the "one.")

When you marry, you gamble that you can make a life with this person.  And it is a huge crap shoot, because any person you marry is a complete wreck...you just don't know it yet.  Of course, the thing is that we have this huge blind spot..we can't see at all how much WE are a wreck too. And in those early days of passion and courtship, we really believe that WE are different.  Those boring old couples who sit at dinner and don't talk to each other?  That could NEVER be us.

Except, that it happens. We can't stand to live that open with love pouring through us. We want something for ourselves. We start seeing our spouse as the enemy rather than having an external enemy that wants to pull us apart. We focus on the symptomatic issues rather than the heart causes. Without realizing it, we choose to hold onto offense and drift into isolation.

We have to start with us. To expose the wreck of ourselves to the God who loves us and allow Him to come in and begin to work in our heart. We can let go of our unrealistic expectations of having 'the one' 'complete' us. And we can begin to pray for our spouse--not that he/she would become x,y,z to meet our needs but that they would be able to be open to God's love too. Repentance is required for transformation. A willingness to admit that we are unable to perfectly love.

I think it takes a really long time to get it right.  For two people to live as one.

And I think that many times we settle for unhappy because we don't attend to the heart of ourselves. We simply go through the motions.

What if we are the ones we've been waiting for?

I've been hearing a lot about "they" lately. Typically in the framework of "If only they would do this, then everything would be okay."

We do it in politics, "if only they would do x,y,z then the budget would be balanced."

We do it professionally..."if only they had listened to us then the project wouldnt be in this mess."

We do it personally..."if only they would be more open then we could have a better relationship."

It isn't that these statements aren't true; it is that the framing of them reveals that we don't see ourselves as part of the equation. We have a way of separating ourselves from the system (government, corporation, family, circle of friends, organization) that we are actually part of.  

What if we only thought in terms of "we"?  What would that look like?

If only we did x,y,z, then we could balance the budget.

If only we had listened, then the project wouldn't be in this mess.

If only we would be more open, then we could have a better relationship.

It occurs to me we should probably stop saying "they" altogether.

Could it make a difference?

Using animal products is so integrated into our lifestyle that living vegan has been more difficult than I thought. Not because I feel deprived, but because there seem to be animal products in almost everything.  Yet I'm curious if over the next twenty years it will become a much more viable option. Even if you don't buy the health and humanitarian arguments, there is a sustainability challenge to the mass-marketing of animals for food production.

I recently saw a quote by John Robbins about the true cost of beef if it weren't subsidized.  He writes...

"To produce one pound of beef, it takes 2,500 gallons of water, 12 pounds of grain, 35 pounds of topsoil and the energy equivalent of one gallon of gasoline. If all these costs were reflected in the price of the product without subsidies, the least expensive hamburger in the US would cost $35."

The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine ran an equally interesting infographic in their Good Medicine Magazine.

What happens if the compelling dynamic for shifting lifestyle becomes economic rather than ethical?

Something to think about.

Olive oil and vinegar tasting...who knew?

This weekend, my sister took me to a really incredible store in Fort Worth. Located at Hulen and Overton Ridge Blvd. The Virgin Olive Oiler, sells high quality balsamic vinegars and olive oils and offers tastings.

What is really interesting though is that this stuff is AMAZING.  Straight. While I was there I tasted basalmics that were good enough to drink--nothing like the grocery store varieties I typically stock at home.

And you don't have to be a gourmet to enjoy it.  I tried the dark chocolate balsamic with blood orange infused olive oil and it was wonderful simply in the little plastic cup.  Sprinkling it over fresh fruit would have been divine.

The choices were plentiful and it was hard to pick, but in the end I went home with an 18-year-aged balsamic and a wild mushroom and sage infused olive oil...knowing that I will be back soon to pick up other varieties.

So, if you happen to be in Fort Worth, the store is definitely worth a stop.  And, if you aren't in the area, they have a full selection online shipped to your doorstep: http://www.thevirginoliveoiler.com/. If you aren't sure what to pick, you can always try the sampler box.

Kitchen Message Center

One of the best weekend retreats I ever went to centered on time management.  A woman from Franklin Covey taught us how to save time by making immediate decisions on paper and e-mails so we only had to touch them once.

She encouraged us to create a place that our mind would trust and build that credibility by tracking everything in a single place.  

And...she taught us the value of the family calendar.  We hung the large scale version on our refrigerator and used it all during the time that Chase and Bethany were doing the crazy years of sports, family and school events.  The calendar was updated each month and below it, magnet clips held all of the team rosters, school year calendar, registration forms, etc.

In our new house, I recently recreated our "kitchen message center" on the empty cabinet face in a way that fits our new lives as empty nesters. A white magnet board from Ikea holds grocery lists, messages, fliers for upcoming events and other information. A chalkboard facilitates meal planning. Hooks above it hold keys...

And at the very top...a reminder each time we walk out the door.

There is never enough evidence...

It is really flattering when someone flirts with you. 
Evidence that you are beautiful. Desirable.

It is really energizing when you get the promotion.
Evidence that you are valued. Worthy.

It feels really great to get something new.
Evidence that you are successful. Status.

However, no matter how good it feels in the moment, there is never enough external evidence to prove to ourselves we are enough.  And we've seen enough cautionary tales of people who follow the path of looking for more and more and more to know where it leads.

Yet if you don't do the work to seek that which is not dependent on external evidence for joy, peace and contentment, you will fall for the external every time.

On punishment...

Recently in a small Bible study group a discussion came up about a church who disciplined one of its members who had confessed cheating sexually by sending a letter to the congregation with detailed instructions on how to interact with the person in social settings. It was punitive.

I've thought about it a lot recently. The conversation plays along with another conversation I have in my head with a friend whose spouse cheated on them.  Their response was: "But if I forgive, then there are no consequences.  They just get away with it."

In both scenarios I find myself struck by the desire to punish in contrast to Jesus' response to the woman caught in adultery. (He stopped the crowd from stoning her and sent her home forgiven.) Or his response to brutal beatings, humiliation and being hung to die...("Father forgive them, they don't know what they are doing.)...

If we are called to that kind of forgiveness--and I believe we are--then what about consequences?

I think it is possible that we don't believe that good is good.  Like the older brother in the story of the Prodigal Son we believe that the grass is greener in rebellion.

What if our hearts shifted so that we knew that "the right thing" was the most joyful, beautiful and best? That we saw the person in sin as the one in the cage rather than the one who was free? What if we really believed that love was a much more powerful tool than punishment for restoration?

It occurs to me that there is a gap between the heart of scripture and our practice.  One we desperately need to close.

Unexpected and sort of cool

Last night I got an award for what I do professionally.

Which was unexpectedly cool.

Just sayin.

On truth...

I once had a seminary student explain how it baffled him that two godly men, equally committed and searching the scriptures, could come to wildly different conclusions about fundamental issues.

It has been interesting to me to see the same thing in yoga.  People very committed to their practice--even top historical yogis--can have extremely conflicting ideas.

And so I've been thinking about that.  Churches are adamant about doctrine. And yet there are always differences...causing division, after division, after division.  And we ignore that. We push the divisions aside as if they were unavoidable. As if we aren't culpable in the state of the way things are because we are right.

We don't have a lot of Jesus's prayers recorded, but some of them are. In the 17th chapter of John it recalls  Jesus asking: "Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one. "

We don't have a lot of one-ness going on. 

I wonder if that is because we are seeking one-ness around the wrong things. Clearly it is human nature to disagree about the abstract because we see it all through our own experience.  We can point to Scripture (which I happen to believe is authoritative) but the way we see those scriptures can be so different (I don't happen to find us authoritative.).  Why would God leave truth in the hands of such a faulty system? 

It occurs to me that we may have messed this up. What if truth is more basic than this? What if when Jesus says "I am the way, the truth and the life..." He isn't referring to the facts about Him, He is referring to Himself. 

Love and sacrifice--universally understandable experiences regardless of your geography, faith or circumstances--produce unity rather than division. Humility (and there is nothing more humble than God taking human form) also produces one-ness. 

It occurs to me that we get lost in the words that are written and lose the big story those words tell.  That a God who created the universe wanted to be with us enough that He clothed Himself in humility and loved enough to sacrifice. 

How could we find that as truth that and do so little of it? We are called to so much more than a set of ideas written in words. 

It's the little things...

It's the little things that make love so enjoyable.

Snuggling on the couch.

Someone to check in with during the day.

Sharing a meal.

Or when your husband drives to north Plano to get refills on your Copic markers while you are in Ft. Worth visiting your mom in the hospital.

Yet oddly, sometimes we get busy and forget to do the small things for each other. Love is more fun when we remember.

Eviction Notice

I'm tired of all of the products that have failed me.

Shampoos that didn't give me luxurious hair...
Lipsticks a shade off...
Creams that are greasy without moisturizing...
Mostly I'm tired of tripping over you on the way to products I use and like.

Well today I'm done. I don't care how much of you is left or how much I paid for you, this is your eviction notice.

And I'm not replacing you either. Your function will now be served by a multipurpose, natural product.  Baking soda, grapeseed oil...something that wouldn't poison a child if they got into it.

I'm tired of wasting money on the hype--where only one product in 20 delivers.  If there is a good brand out there, I've found it.  I'll keep using it.  But all of the others...OUT!

A story about Bird and Dog

My parents have a little dog, Bandit. Bandit enjoyed his life as an only child.

One day when my dad was standing by the curb out in his yard, a little white bird landed at his feet.  When he stooped down, the bird didn't fly away, so he offered it his finger.

It stepped up and Dad could see it was a white parakeet. Dad brought Bird into the house.

Dad got Bird a cage--which it doesn't like to leave. (We chalk that up to some harrowing experiences living outdoors).

However, there was a small problem.  Dog did not like Bird.

Bird sang happily in the window. Dog ignored it.
Dad talked with bird. Dog ignored dad.
Mom talked with Bird. Dog sulked.

Eventually, Dad got Bird a bigger cage and moved her back to his office, and a strange thing happened.  When Dad played the song, Amazing Grace,  on his computer, Bird sang.
And Dog sang.
In fact, Dog jumped up in the chair close to Bird and the two sang together.

And somehow Dog and Bird have developed a relationship as a singing duo.

And Bandit stopped minding that she was part of the family.