When I do the math, my husband and I began the adoption process about the time our son was conceived. We turned our paperwork in sometime in October and brought him home in July. Two days after he was born, we signed all the papers, said goodbye to his birth mother, got a run down from the nursing staff who then walked us to the car to show us how to put him in the baby seat and we drove away. We had no clue. Luckily, I had my sisters and my mom. Lots of prayer and resources of friends who had done this before.
My life is so different. A lot less 'me' focused. I always waited till the last minute. My husband and I took care of ourselves. We were very 'single' together. Now I have to think about the whole day so I can prepare for it. Especially when my son was a baby...diapers...formula. You have to think ahead and plan. It's very easy to be selfish when you don't have a child. I don't even mean that in a bad way. You don't have to think about anyone so you don't. Then there is this child who can't do anything for themselves. I used to wake up, barely have time to get ready, drive to work, have lunch, work some more, grab dinner and watch television. Now I try to wake up early so I can make breakfast for my family. My day revolves around what my son and our family needs.
The best thing is he's just so fun. He always finds the funny in things. It has been amazing to see things through his eyes. I was so angry about the infertility for so long, but God has really healed that through my son. Sometimes I watch this boy and see so much of me and my husband, and I wonder 'how is that possible?'
We went through an open adoption and though she chose both of us, I think our birth mom really chose my husband. She wanted her son to have a daddy. She loved it that we had been married 14 years and didn't believe in divorce. Not only did we love each other but we were committed to the marriage. He's an amazing dad. She did an amazingly selfless thing.
I really believe that adoption is God's heart. There are so many kids out there. If we are serious about counteracting abortion, then we have to give those kids homes to make it worth it for their mom's to go through the pregnancy. I work with an organization now that is dedicated to helping teenage moms. We are loving on the girls who are deciding to parent. I'm very proud of these young mamas, they have to work much harder to be a good parent than most.
I wish I could say that I am never selfish but change is always a process, a work in progress. You asked me what has changed the most, and I think my day is a lot more about what *we need* instead of what *I want*. And there's a lot more hugs and kisses. So grateful to God for the hugs and kisses!
© Cathy Hutchison 2012