There is something to the mismatch, the messiness and the forgiveness that matters.
And it would seem that the most important quality for engaging in deep and lasting relationships is in believing the "other" has as much beauty, worth and value as yourself.
I am continually surprised by the people I encounter who don't get this. They wonder why they don't have satisfying relationships with co-workers, employees, friends, and often their spouses when they continually sort people into greater and less than. People can't hide their true attitudes. They leak them at an astonishing rate.
Satisfying relationships require love. And love goes beyond a fundamental understanding of parity to being open to the great value and beauty of life—in all its many variations and forms.
We all know people who are isolated. We've also seen those looking for relationship everywhere (from dating sites to way too lengthy conversations with checkers at convenience stores.) Learning to love throughout mismatch, messiness and forgiveness is an art of becoming. It isn't easy and it is often at the cost of some crafted perception of ourselves.