I was playing bunco with a group of women once and their language surprised me. Most were married, but there was a lot of talk about other guys with the phrase "I'd do him" thrown around a lot. There was also a lot of complaining in general about their spouses.
It was in stark contrast to the way most of my friends talk about their spouses.
I visited my vet's office--a busy place--and the vibe coming off the staff was what a hassle work was. "I wish I could go back on vacation and sleep in," one commented. "This stupid computer hates me." Heavy sighs were abundant.
It was a stark contrast to the environment I work in.
I know that sometimes people are in bad situations, but I also know that sometimes people focus on the negative as a bonding agent. They use whining to get "street cred" with their peers.
And here's the thing. Those words and attitudes shape the reality.
Two weeks ago, I got to hang out with a friend who is a newlywed and we were talking about this concept. She said, "I've become more beautiful since dating my husband. He tells me how pretty I am all the time. It has changed the way I look."
And you know what. She is right. I've noticed that in the time I have known her she has become more beautiful—to the point that I had actually thought about it before she mentioned it. I thought she had changed her style, but that wasn't it at all. Amy has actually become more beautiful from the shine of her hair, to the clothes she wears, to the way she moves to the light in her smile. Words made her more beautiful.
Don Miguel Ruiz speaks of words poetically as spells. "Looking at everyday human interactions, imagine how many times we cast spells on each other with our word."
We can create change, simply by using our own language.to create as much beauty as possible. But if you find that too many of the words around you are "black magic" then you may need to upgrade your friends.