There are two places where this shows up...a lot.
The first is driving. How many times have you cursed the guy who cuts you off?
The second is when we encounter someone who we determine is either better or worse than us. This can be on any scale: looks, wealth, ability...
There is a spiritual practice of deliberately blessing people, that can affect powerful change in how we experience the world. Jesus encouraged us to "bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." I don't believe this is casual advice. I don't even think it is so we can be "the better person." I believe it has real-time impact on both us and who we direct it to
Okay, so let's take the driving example. Some guy cuts us off and we immediately yell, "You idiot." First it affects the guy. Haven't you ever had someone give you a dirty look and while you may not know why they are doing it, it affects your day? Secondly, it screws up our day. There is no room in our hearts for love, joy or peace when we are filled with righteous indignation.
Secondly is when we weigh people and either find them "more than" or "less than" us. In our measuring, we curse them either because we believe they are less or we are afraid we are. We hear people say these out loud sometimes, but others just think them.
Practicing a spiritual discipline of blessing others is powerful. It changes the way we think and it changes the way we feel.
The Buddhists have a practice called "the lovingkindness meditation." There are lots of variations on this but the simplest one is: "May they be happy. May they be well. May they be safe. May they be at ease." Choosing your own version of a blessing to deliver each time you feel that anger toward a driver or the judgement of measurement, is a powerful practice--and the results don't take months. You can feel a change in days.
So, are you ready to try it? What about a 7 day challenge?