I'm not talking about honesty in terms of criticizing our spouse and telling them how they need to change to make the world how we want it to be, I'm talking about the big questions of desire. What we want. Who we want to become. Our passions. Our dreams.
So much of the time, marriage can become about the "business of being married." After all marriage is an institution. There are properties owned that must be managed, income to allocate, responsibilities, and personnel--even if that is just a few kids.
People are often catapulted into honest conversations when something tragic happens, but I think we can do it without the catalyst. It simply requires making space for it.
Avoidance has its own costs.
Don't let fear stop you from saying, "I want more. Let's find it together."
And if it has been a long time since you've had an honest conversation with yourself about what you want...maybe start there.