More on 'the Gap'

:::Absolutely no reason for this picture except that it matches the one in the previous post.

I've had interesting conversations in the past 24 hours since posting the Women of Chaos entry. Two clarifications...

1) It isn't only women.

2) Apparently, there really is something to this "gap" thing. This idea that the space between "what is expected" and "what is" is what creates the drama.

For example, if all of her life a woman wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but her financial (or marital) situation forced her to work and put her kids in day care, then she could feel like she is "doing things wrong." (That's just one scenario that was shared with me. There were others.)

This perception of life not being what it is "supposed to be" could send her on a quest to figure out what she is doing wrong. (Or worse, for who is to blame for her situation.) After all, if she could just "fix" things, she could live the life she was meant to live. And if everything in her world becomes about resolving that gap, then anything that is representative of the life she is living that isn't the one she wished for could make her feel persecuted. She could wind up resenting her spouse, her boss, or even the slow clerk at the grocery store. Normal, everyday things would become frustrations of epic proportions.

What if her perspective changed? What if she saw the whole world as imperfect, but still felt there was joy to be found? What if she quit seeing herself as "stuck" but as exactly where she should be for right now?

It occurs to me that people of peace are the people who find the beauty in what is instead of ignoring it to chase an ellusive set of circumstances. They are people who see that life is transitory. It seems that those busy in the joy of what is don't miss the opportunities that present themselves. They are incredibly apparent. They aren't drowned out in a din of frustration and drama.

My personal perspective is that the shift from drama to contentment has to do with gratitude. Not a fake kind of resignation that pastes a happy face on top, but a genuine appreciation for the gifts in life. And while the simplicity of it can seem too good to be true, I think it actually, truly works.

As for "women in chaos", I think we've cracked the code. The best thing we can do is point out the beautiful things and hope they embrace peace.

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Maira Gall