Stumbling on Answers

For reference, you might need to check out a previous post...

My dad is in the hospital, and I couldn't wait to go to Sahaja Meditation tonight. John and I rode our bikes. By the end of the meditation I felt completely different. Calmer. Lighter. But still there was tension in my heart. It is a difficult thing to watch your parents age. To hear your dad talk about things he sees in the after-effects of anesthetic that aren't really there.

One of the women worked on me--this time using a mantra. And I felt better. My heart was clear. So, I asked about the mantra. And learned it is the name of a goddess in the Hindu pantheon.

And again, I don't understand.

All I know is that I can't.

I can deeply appreciate that there is truth in what they are doing. The teaching on the subtle system works. (At least it works on me.) And while I could probably go along enjoying all of the wonderful people...(The people at the meditation center are truly beautiful in their souls.) I am an all or nothing sort of girl.

So, for me tonight, I had to make a decision. I don't get to go back to Sahaja. I can meditate and feel the power of the Holy Spirit flowing through me, but I can't invoke the names of other gods. Nothing in me will allow it.

Not because of conditioning, but because of a deep belief in my soul that there is only One.

The One I've served since I was a little girl.

And again, I'm not sure I completely understand any of this. I just know I have to make a choice.

I wonder if David-the-Artist-Pastor would consider a contemplative prayer center? Because meditating as a group is as powerful as sitting in Nancy's living room with guitars singing worship. Maybe even more so because you don't have to be on key.


NancyJ said...

Hey, we just gave away our couch! Maybe our living room is destined to be the new contempletative prayer center! I like it!

CrossPointeDave said...

I'm proud that you were able to determine where the line is drawn for you in the contemplative spiritual realm. Only someone connected to the ONE could have the awareness to understand the difference. Check out for the list of centering prayer groups that meet weekly in our area. There are several that you may connect with! If not, perhaps your right, a centering prayer/mediation/contemplation group needs to form!

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Maira Gall