::image is a wall painting at La Villeneuve, Grenoble, France. From Wikimedia.::After spending some time with a girl who she'd watched grow up who is now turning 30, a friend of mine commented, "It's as if she got stuck." My friend referred to the fact that this young woman hadn't grown into someone wonderful that you would want to spend time with. Instead she was living a shallow life that kept her going in the same circle...over and over.
And so I've been thinking about that. Because as many deep, beautiful, multi-faceted people as I know, I've also known people who seem....well, stuck.
If life is about growing and becoming, then I suppose it really would be possible to get stuck. A sort of bonsai of the soul. And as I've explored this, it occurs to me that there are a number of places people get "stuck" in.
Such as...
Anger. Have you ever met someone you would classify as an "angry person?" Someone who it takes very little to set off? When John and I were going through theophostic training, Ed Smith said, "All of the angry people I've known had legitimate cause to be angry." We live in an unjust world. There are offenses committed against us that we can justly and rightfully carry. But they get heavy. And our own personal jihads can take all of our energy, keeping us from moving forward. Not only that, but each new offense immediately requires action. Pouring all creativity into our personal war instead of into more positive forward pursuits.
Depression. Whether physical or emotional (or emotional that eventually becomes physical), depression dims the spark of the life of the person suffering from it. It takes the volume of the spirit flood to trickle. It creates a shadow of ourselves. As with anger, most of the people I know suffering from depression have legitimate reason to be depressed. Yet unlike with anger--which creates energy--depression steals the ability to deal with personal pain. Leaving no energy for forward motion.
Anesthetics. Most every one you know has had horrible crimes committed against their souls. And anesthetics for pain are widely available. Drugs, alchohol, shopping, sex, food...but, it's like pressing "pause" on pain without ever engaging it. Anesthetics keep you stuck.
Shame.Perhaps the worst pain is the type we inflict on ourselves. Bad decisions. Times our actions caused pain for someone else. Pain we carry responsibility for because we feel we deserve it. Shame is a bitter, ugly cross to bear. And it causes us to hide our true selves. To settle for something less.
If these are the things that keep us "stuck" then how do we get "unstuck." Ahh...bet you can guess the title of the next post.
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