24 years

Twenty-four years ago today, John and I were married.

Thinking back to that day, I would be hard pressed to find another time I was as scared. 

And then it was the first week--which was kind of fun. Then a second, then a third...all the way up until now.

I think we make marriage unnecessarily complex sometimes.  At it's core, it is sharing your life--the heart of you.  Yes, there is an art to it; it isn't perfect and in fact goes horribly wrong sometimes.  But I think maybe that's because we enter it for ourselves. We don't really have much skill in "laying down our life for our friend" so marriage becomes the training ground.

And somehow you create an "us."  A way of being that can't exist outside of the two of you. It can be as trivial as using some word (potentially the name of a piece of IKEA furniture) as a shared expletive to as profound as only having to use a look to give comfort when something tragic happens. And you build structure all around it...your place, the way you do holidays, kids...even the food you eat. You wind up creating a family...and hopefully, it is a good one.

Intimacy gets built in the in-between times.  In cooking dinner, folding laundry, staying up late talking, snuggling on the couch watching TV.  Quality time might be what makes you feel good about your relationship, but quantity time is where it gets built.

If this post seems overly introspective and nostalgic.  It is.  Big milestones are kind of like that.

And John...if you haven't figured it out by now...I passionately love you.