I drove to Oklahoma because gay marriage is not legal in Texas.
I met Sandra and Tina my first year of college at a small Baptist university. Sandra and her best friend Debbie were my next door dorm neighbors. Tina was my RA.
Both Sandra and Tina went on to "follow the rules." Both married. Both had kids. However, the rules didn't produce lives where they were loved. And maybe more importantly it pushed their beautiful selves into little square boxes that they didn't fit in, living as versions of themselves rather than from authentic hearts.
Maybe I feel it is important to write about their wedding because I grew up in a culture where people were encouraged to "pray the Gay away" and "please God don't tell anybody." And while I wish that was 30 years ago, I know from my Facebook feed that it is not.
I sat near the front in the little chapel in Oklahoma, and the tears started sliding down my face when their children spoke. When Tina's daughter shared how special her mom was and how she had always longed for someone who could see the beauty and specialness of her. When Sandra's son talked about how grateful he was they they had found each other and what it meant to him.
As their family shared what it was like to be in their circle, it was almost too intimate to watch. Something beautiful that had to be experienced and my words seem to be falling short in describing it.
Every once in awhile the topic of homosexuality comes up with people who were raised as I was. And I often hear, but "the Bible says, here and here..." and I wonder why the person saying it can't hear the echoes of the Pharisees who quoted rules to Jesus. (You see, the scriptural rules were the justification for His crucifixion back in the day.) We are blind to how often we nail people to crosses. And the bodies of the hurt and broken pile up along the way as evidence that something is wrong in our doctrine.
As for Sandra and Tina, I was glad to be invited. It was fun to see them again, to catch up with Debbie and to meet their friends. As for Texas, the laws will inevitably change. They have to.
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